Familial
by HeathenVampires
Summary: Modern AU. When Hiccup agreed to a blind-date on a double date, he didn't expect to end up sat with his half-sister pretending that they had never met. Hiccup/Astrid Hiccstrid (warning for incest) sideship of Heather/Atali. (please see AN inside)
1. Chapter 1

**Not a new venture for me since I've done this sort of thing before, but here we go again.**

 **Hiccstrid. Hiccup and Astrid are half siblings. That's the important bit covered really.**

 _ **Yes,**_ **this has been posted before, I know! But I am opting to keep the one shot separate as its just Hiccstrid. This will have a third person added (female, if you wondered) and some people aren't after that. So that's why the double post.**

-HTTYD-

Hiccup wasn't sure what possessed him to agree to this. Well, he did. But now, getting ready, he was regretting that choice.

Atali was so nervous, _begged_ him to come along. Apparently her date was bringing someone to entertain him, though that could go wrong any number of ways. Still, Hiccup buttoned up his shirt, checked his boots were clean and shiny. Even if his 'date' was a disaster or disappointment, he wouldn't disrespect the girl or Atali by showing up sloppy.

"I know you don't fancy me, or any man, but how do I look?"

"Very presentable."

That was a real compliment from Atali. She herself looked very nice, her silver-gold dress hugging her curves well, displaying the muscle tone she earned doing all her martial arts. Her hair was out of its usual plait, looking lovely as it rested just past her shoulders.

"You look great. Can we go? I need alcohol to get through this night."

"You never know, you might hit it off with your date."

Hiccup doubted that entirely, but Atali had a soft, gentle voice that made one want to agree with her. So he nodded, tucking wallet and keys into his jacket. He attempted in vain to tidy his hair, ran a hand over his stubble to check for missed hairs when he trimmed it down, then figured it was as good as he could hope for.

Dabbing on aftershave, Hiccup turned to Atali.

"Ready to go?"

Atali didn't drink, so she drove and offered to pay Hiccup's taxi fare in the unlikely event she and her date hit it off so well Atali ditched him. He considered that more unlikely than her getting drunk, because Atali didn't do first date sex. Still, the night was young.

"I appreciate this Hiccup, I don't think I mentioned."

"I know you do. But I will hurl food at you if you start getting too gropey at the table."

Atali laughed, shaking her head fondly.

"I highly doubt that will happen, but I will remember the warning."

"See that you do."

They shared a chuckle, clearly there first when they headed in to the restaurant. Hiccup wavered for a second, but decided he needed dutch courage for the blind date after they were shown to their table.

"Drink?"

"I'm going to order from the mocktail menu at the table, you go ahead."

Hiccup nodded, standing to head to the bar and inquire about their whiskey. Waiting for the bartender to be done with the previous customer, Hiccup spotted the drink he wanted.

"What can I get you?"

"Shot of Yggdrasil. Actually" Hiccup didn't want to run out soon "make it a double."

"Make it two."

Hiccup turned to the familiar voice, stunned to see a very familiar face lean against the bar next to him. The server looked at him, and Hiccup nodded.

"Make it two. What are you doing here Astrid?"

"Assuming you're here with that cute redhead? I'm your date tonight."

Astrid looked really quite unconcerned about the very idea - especially when one considered she was his half- _sister._

"You what?"

Hiccup was glad his drink was put in front of him then. He needed it. Paying the bartender so he would leave, Hiccup took a sip of woodsy, smoky alcohol that burned pleasantly on the swallow.

"Heather hauled me along cus she was nervous. I'm guessing same for you."

"Yeah. Atali is kinda shy. But we... we have to tell them."

Astrid frowned.

"That's gonna make everything awkward. For starters, they'll feel bad for setting us up. Then I have to explain to my best friend why she doesn't know I have a brother."

"Which is _why,_ exactly?"

She shrugged, sipping her drink.

"Because I like not being 'that girl who's parents have problems' for once. Look, we pretend for their sake. Let them get all mushy. If things work out, we tell them down the line and it's a funny story."

Hiccup wasn't thrilled, but he supposed Astrid had a point. They shared a father, who had knocked up his mother and then left to marry someone else. Hiccup and Astrid only met in their early teens, and were fairly close all things considered, but the fragmented family wasn't something they shared with many other people.

"So we sit not being date-y while they get friendly?"

Astrid nodded.

"Just try not to look like we hate each other. Heather has been so excited about this date, lets not ruin this for her. Or... Atali?"

"Yeah. Atali. Ok. I'll try."

Hiccup still thought this was a bad idea. Especially since he knew Astrid _must_ be disappointed. He knew that dress she had on.

"Have a fun chat you two?"

Heather - he presumed - was tall, slim, dark hair. She was also smiling rather sweetly at Atali.

"We were discussing our common choice in drink. I don't know anyone else who drinks the tree of life."

Hiccup made sure he pulled Astrid's chair out, else Atali would be horrified at his lack of manners. He would never hear the end of it. Astrid raised an eyebrow, but sat down. Hiccup perched next to her, then hid his face behind the menu so he didn't have to watch Heather and Atali make eyes at each other.

"Hey Astrid, bathroom?"

Heather asked, and Astrid got up to follow her. Hiccup frowned, confused.

"Is that normal? I'd never ask another guy to the bathroom."

Atali giggled, shaking her head.

"I'm sure some men do too, but a fair amount of ladies touch up their make-up or check their hair. Or perhaps need to discuss something. What would I know? My friends are mostly men."

Hiccup tipped his glass in acknowledgement.

"That's... a fair point."

Heather and Astrid returned a couple of minutes later, and to Hiccups great consternation, Astrid moved her chair closer, forcing Hiccup to feel the heat of her skin against his leg, soaking through fabric. And he couldn't ask why, because that would look suspicious. Eyeing his almost empty glass, Hiccup downed the last of his drink and, since their food hadn't arrived yet, he excused himself for a fresh one.

"What's up with you?"

Astrid had followed him apparently. Hiccup placed his glass on the counter, indicated to the barman to refill when he had chance.

"Me? What was that you did?"

"Oh. Heather was worried I was putting on a front, and wanted to check I was happy to stay. I told her I thought you were cute but shy."

Hiccup looked at her, confused.

"You said what?"

"Oh _relax,_ I was reassuring Heather. Don't freak out."

"Why would I- Astrid!"

Hiccup found himself with an armful of Astrid, his sisters body against his and her mouth hovering just shy of his jaw. It was dangerous, really, because her breath was warm and Hiccup could feel that warmth travel down his belly, thawing frozen thoughts.

"Calm down, it just looks like I like you. Get your drink."

He couldn't breathe as Astrid kissed his cheek, slid away and walked back to the table. Hiccup wondered if Atali could tell his look of shock was not one of 'hey a hot girl just kissed me'. Blinking away the shock, Hiccup picked up his drink, tossed money at the barman and swallowed thickly before returning to the table.

Hiccup couldn't taste his food. Everyone else looked to be enjoying theirs, so it was probably very nice. But Astrid was still sat close to him and her kiss was still burning on his cheek, her body heat soaking through his clothes. Her hand landed on his arm and she tossed him a smile, intending no doubt to look 'interested' while Hiccup almost fell out of his chair.

"Are you alright Hiccup?"

Heather and Astrid left again - Heather wanted to wash her hands before dessert and Astrid said she needed to fix her hair. Atali looked at him oddly, probably noticing how Hiccup was a little sweaty, nervous. He almost came clean, but _their_ date was going well. Hiccup could hold out a little longer if it meant Atali was happy.

"I uh, I'm not really used to forward women."

"But you like her?"

He nodded. Felt deeply guilty. But he nodded. Atali smiled. Hiccup hoped his returned strained, grimacing smile convinced her. Normally? Probably not, but Atali's mind was elsewhere that evening and so she wasn't as eagle-eyed as usual.

Dessert was as tasteless as dinner, especially when Astrid slung her arm around his shoulder and kissed his cheek again as she sat down before they started. His cheeks burned anew, to the amusement of everyone at the table except him. Atali and Heather at least made _some_ attempt to hide it. Astrid was grinning too much.

As he toyed absently with a stray cherry on his plate, poking at it with his fork, Hiccup realised he had drifted slightly and all three tablemates were looking at him expectantly.

"Sorry, what did I miss?"

"We're going dancing. You in?"

Heather asked, and by the way they were sitting? She was holding hands with Atali under the table.

"Oh. I uh... I'm not much of a dancer."

"Nonsense. You dance fine Hiccup."

Atali was a traitor, he decided. Astrid leant against him, running her fingers down his tingling forearm, tangled them with his numb hand.

"You're acting like you have a choice. If I drive him are you two gonna disappear?"

Hiccup felt a little vindictive pleasure at the way Atali blushed at Astrid's implication; at least his evil sister wasn't only embarrassing _him_ now. This was all Atali's fault for asking him to be a good friend and help her not be nervous.

Strapped in Astrid's car, Hiccup looked at her in expectation of explanation.

"What was that about?"

"Look. If we send them in a car together and they don't turn up at the club? I will drive you home and we can forget this ever happened while they have a wild night of passion."

He supposed that made sense, and hoped as they went that the women had left for whatever it was they might get up to. Unfortunately for Hiccup's sanity? They pulled up a minute or two later. Cursing them for not disappearing for an illicit quickie, a reluctant Hiccup was hauled into the club. It was a strange mix of music, and neither packed nor empty. He could hear himself think, but could also lose sight of Atali and Heather once they landed on the dance floor.

Astrid wouldn't let him get away, forcing Hiccup's uncooperative limbs to move with hers, her cheeky smile telling that she greatly enjoyed making him very uncomfortable.

"I didn't agree to this."

"Oh, be quiet. They're having fun."

Hiccup glared.

"How long are we supposed to keep this up? They now think our 'date' is going well."

Astrid shrugged, and if Hiccup wasn't mistaken, she invaded his personal space a little bit more. Hiccup was worried, because she seemed happy to encourage them to look _friendly,_ and when it came time to come clean with Heather and Atali, their behaviour was going to look _creepy,_ not comical.

Was it warm in there? Hiccup was pretty sure he was ten degrees hotter than a few minutes ago. Or maybe it was that Astrid had slid her arms around his waist, crushing herself to his chest and breathing so close to his neck he could feel her lips brush the skin there when his throat flexed with his own increasingly ragged breaths.

His hands didn't know where to go, resting clumsily on Astrid's shoulders as he tried to work out how to pry her off without looking suspect to everyone else, who didn't know they were _brother and sister._

"I think you're laying this on a little thick Astrid."

"You're fun to wind up."

Astrid's hair was tickling his neck. It should be making him want to laugh, but it was succeeding only in making his skin prickle with hypersensitivity. The way her hands rested around his waist meant that her fingers tickled his lower back, somewhere Hiccup already knew himself to be sensitive to touch on. It wasn't helping him at all.

To his horrified surprise, Astrid decided he wasn't paying her enough attention and _bit_ him. The jolt of pain on his neck should really have pulled Hiccup out of the warm haze threatening his mind. Instead, Hiccup felt the jolt roll downward, settling low in his gut.

"What was that for?"

"Fun."

Needing to do something before the whole situation careened out of control, Hiccup gripped Astrid's shoulders and pushed, stepping back and feeling her hands drop free to his relief.

"I need a drink."

Escaping, Hiccup was disappointed they didn't have his usual poison, but they did have strong alcoholic substances and that would do. He could feel a presence behind him, turning to find himself trapped between the bar and Astrid's body. The angle wasn't doing him any favours. The way Astrid was leant against him made for easy viewing down her dress.

Hiccup knew he was sick for even looking.

"What's your problem?"

"Problem? I wanted a drink."

Her saliva was still drying on his neck. Hiccup wasn't sure what was wrong with him tonight. He'd spent time with Astrid - as her brother! - with no problems whatsoever for years. And the ridiculous situation they were in should have been a little uncomfortable but mostly hilarious.

And yet Hiccup felt all turned over, confused and frankly terrified of Astrid touching him again. He picked up his drink, downing it in one and wishing the burn in his throat would erase the one in his belly. It didn't. Astrid took his hand, all strangely gentle and... _intimate,_ almost. Pulled him back toward the other people, pulled him close to her again.

"Dance with me."

Something about her voice made any protests die on his tongue, mouth bitter with alcohol and guilt as he let Astrid press against him. His arms settled around her with no real thought, hers back around him equally quickly. Astrid was looking at his face the entire time, blue eyes wide and bright. The pain on his neck had faded to a pleasant ache.

Tearing his eyes from her, Hiccup glanced around for their friends. He could see Heather, looking over at them but stood quite alone. The reason for that became evident a second later when Hiccup jumped in surprise, feeling someone tap his shoulder. It was Atali, and Hiccup ignored the feeling of reluctance in her touch when Astrid let him go.

"You're off then?"

Atali nodded, cheeks tinged pink even as she hugged Hiccup goodbye and insistently pressed money on him since she wouldn't be driving him home. He waved her off to enjoy her evening, trying not to examine whether or not he was disappointed that he had no cause for fakery with Astrid any longer.

When he turned back to his sister, Astrid was looking at him oddly. He couldn't find the words to say he had better go, that they could give up the pretense. When she walked toward him, Hiccup backed up, unsure why or what exactly he was expecting her to do but sure the question in her face was one Hiccup didn't want to answer.

Their place on the dance area was obviously too close to the edge of the room, because Astrid managed to pin him to a wall. Hands touched his somersaulting stomach, slid upwards along his chest to rest upon his shoulders. For one terrifying, exhilarating moment, Hiccup thought Astrid might kiss him.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Have you ever thought of it?"

Her breath danced across his lips, still sweet with the scent of chocolatey dessert. Hiccup's heart pounded beneath her hand on his chest,

"O-of what?"

He couldn't seem to catch his breath, stuttering as he tried to speak evenly. Astrid slid tighter against him, undulated against his front once, twice.

"Me."

"No."

Of course he hadn't. Hiccup had never allowed himself to. Forced anything like that down and locked it away tight until he could even convince _himself_ that his feelings were only that of a brother.

Mostly.

Astrid didn't seem to believe his 'no', still far too close to him as his pounding heart pumped blood south, no self-flaggelating thoughts able to slow the heat this time.

"Really? Cus I have."

Hiccup was now completely certain this was all a hallucination, some form of punishment for ever looking at Astrid as something other than his sister. Gods knew he deserved it.

Despite the madness, Hiccup knew he was hard and Astrid shifted with purpose, smirk evident in the limited light and, without warning, her mouth was on his neck. Hiccup's hands scrambled to push her off but Astrid latched on, sucking a deep bruise upon the skin there and leaving him shuddering, weak as she pulled off.

"W-what was that?"

Astrid eyed him, gaze sticking on where Hiccup could feel the blooming mark.

"So when you try and say nothing happened, I can point out that it did."

Before he had a hope of formulating a reply, Astrid's fist was bunching in his shirt, hauling him forward, claiming his mouth. Any protest died when her tongue slipped between his lips, fingers curling tighter in the fabric of his shirt.

Eventually, Hiccup would probably have clearer memories of why the hot club became cool night air, but he couldn't pay attention to anything but Astrid crushed between him and the wall, her fingers tightly clutching his hair as he tasted her mouth again. How she moved while still swallowing his grunting kisses, Hiccup didn't know but suddenly her legs were around his waist. Gasping sounds escaped her lips as his erection dug between her thighs, making Hiccup's head swim dizzily.

Only when he could go without air no longer did Hiccup pull back, a sliver of reason coming back to him even as Astrid tried to rut against him. Her breasts heaved, chest flushed despite moonlight soaking her skin in a pale glow.

"I... what's going on?"

Hiccup must be dreaming. That was the only possible explanation for the way Astrid was looking at him, for the fact his _sister_ was there with him in an alleyway, clutching him closer to her body like she only had in his deepest darkest fantasies before.

"Hopefully, it involves you inside me _very_ soon."

"Astrid!"

"What?" she used the grip on his hair to pull his ear close to her mouth, ensuring he heard her filthy whispers "I wanna fuck my big brother, and it doesn't feel like he minds."

Astrid punctuated her point by rutting against his erection, shocking a groan from his mouth. She only called him 'big brother' when she wanted something. He just had never expected what she wanted to be _him._

"But you... we..."

He couldn't verbalize but Astrid understood anyway.

"I know. Still want you."

"You didn't even know it would be me tonight."

"Call it a happy surprise."

Hiccup lowered her legs to the ground, turned Astrid to face the wall; if he was going to talk to her properly, he couldn't look her in the eye. She leant back, the plush curve of her ass against his groin as Hiccup placed a hand on the bare skin below the hem of her dress.

"The thing is... you're wearing your 'get lucky' dress. Is it me you want" Hiccup lifted his hand an inch or two, exposing more skin "or just a fuck?"

Astrid's hand clamped over his, all but forcing Hiccup to hike her dress up further.

"Both."

Her free arm came up behind her, looping back around Hiccups neck to force them closer, head tipped to expose her neck. Hiccup caved, pressing his mouth to flushed skin and hearing Astrid draw in a shocked breath.

When rucked fabric slid up to her hips, Astrid dragged his hand over damp cotton, moaning weakly when Hiccup growled at the evidence she was hot for him. He curled his fingers, pressed to the swollen bud of her clit, felt Astrid buckle in his hold.

"Fuck! Gods Hiccup, need you."

Hiccup couldn't help but slide his bracing hand from her stomach, slid it up to her breast to squeeze gently. Astrid was in no mood for gentle, pushing his hand down beneath fabric to feel warm, yielding flesh and a hardened nipple. His hips bucked, cock aching for more than material as Astrid pushed into his hands, wanting more.

"Astrid, I don't have condoms on me."

What was he _saying?_ This was his little sister, Hiccup should be disgusted with himself, not intending to go through with the madness.

"Fuck condoms."

Her flexibility was honestly obscene, head twisting so she could bite his lip while her hand snaked between their bodies to attack his zipper, all despite lacking the room to turn around properly and face him. Her hot, hungry hand closed around him, stroking until he bucked into her grip.

Clashing hands gripped at fabric, Astrid's dress falling awkwardly only to be shoved out of the way again with an irritated growl. Then Astrid was pushing him away enough to turn around, pulling him back again in an instant.

"I wanna see you."

He wasn't going to argue, even if Astrid's face of wanton arousal was enough to make his legs shake. Hiccup hiked her up, her hands going between them again, pulling and guiding until-

"Oh gods!"

"Ohhhh... _big_ brother indeed "

Hiccup couldn't help laughing, face buried against her neck. That was so undeniably... _Astrid._ And admittedly, a boost to his ego as she shifted, settling against him with her legs tight on his narrow hips. Oh she was hot, arousal easing him in and allowing for a slick slide when Hiccup tried to thrust, stuttering rhythm as he feared coming on the spot.

Astrid tugged at his buttons, hands roaming the skin beneath before following the trail with her mouth, trailing up to his lips again as her hands wound back into his hair. She squirmed, impatient.

"Move. Please?"

Now there was something new; Astrid so rarely used _please_ genuinely. And when it was whimpered pleadingly against his mouth, thighs flexing against him... Hiccup couldn't deny her.

"Hold on tight."

"Cheesy."

"I don't want to _drop_ you."

"Hmm" Astrid tipped her head, smirking "we'll see "

Growing impatient, Astrid rolled her hips, moved herself on his cock until Hiccup got the message and began to move with her. Arms circled his shoulders, sharp little teeth leaving mischievous nips along his neck and jaw on her journey to his face. Astrid let her head roll back when the rhythm was right, moaning into the night air and proclaiming pleasure as he violated the relationship between brother and sister.

"How... uh, how long?"

Hiccup panted, question falling from his open mouth as Astrid squeezed his shaft, threatening to make his knees buckle with every ripple.

"Wha-what do you think I-I have a measuring tape?"

Her voice caught on moans in time with his thrusts, but she still managed a sarcastic quip.

"H-have you w-wanted this? Wanted me?"

"Oh. _Years."_

He slowed to a grind, easier to maintain this closely and Astrid was no less a shuddering wreck in his arms for it.

"When?"

Her nails scraped over his sweaty back as she gripped his shoulders under his shirt, clinging.

"C-can we not just _talk_ later?"

Hiccup supposed she had a point. Circling his hips, Astrid trembled beautifully, rocked against him urgently. With her wide eyes and flushed cheeks, Astrid looked awfully innocent for one who'd worn her trusted "fuck me" dress on a blind date, then dragged her half-brother into an alleyway with hungry kisses and a demanding lust.

"Pull your dress down."

She was confused for a second, but Astrid quickly cottoned on and exposed her breast to him, holding his head in place when Hiccups mouth closed around her nipple. They were bent and twisted around each other gracelessly, clumsy and awkward but it didn't matter because he could taste her skin and feel her satin grip.

"Gods Hiccup, so good."

"Mmm."

His response was muffled against her chest, but Astrid didn't mind judging by her shivers, the way her hips bucked and rutted. Hiccup wrapped his bracing arms around her tighter, head hauled up to let their mouths clash, Astrid using Hiccup to swallow her moans as she climaxed. The rush was sudden, unexpected and left him unprepared for anything but the same all-consuming heat.

Astrid whimpered, arching as Hiccup spilled into her with a guttural groan, a last few thrusts to bury himself deeper, sustaining the high. Sharing wet gasps as they fought to get their breath back, Hiccup couldn't keep himself from kissing Astrid again, seeking reassurance she didn't regret. Her rough response was plenty confirmation.

"Let me down easy, my legs feel like jelly."

Hiccup complied, lowering Astrid carefully and holding her hips to keep her from stumbling. She righted her dress, covering her chest again but halted Hiccup from buttoning his shirt.

"Not done looking at you yet. Maybe fix your trousers though."

She had a point, so Hiccup fixed himself up rather than get arrested for indecent exposure. Her fingers curled around his hand, pulling Hiccup along.

"Where are we going?"

"My car. After that... your choice."

They didn't make it _in_ to the car before they were kissing again. Hiccup only realised when someone wolf-whistled that they really shouldn't be doing this in public. They could be spotted by someone who knew they were related.

"Your place or mine?"

Astrid smiled.

"Yours. Can't run into Heather and Atali then. Oh, and... your seventeenth birthday."

"What?"

"That was when. Your seventeenth birthday. Gods, those jeans made your ass look great."

Climbing into her car, Hiccup was glad Heather was so tall, allowing him to actually fit in the seat. Astrid closed the door, then effectively crawled into his lap and straddled him.

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

Hiccup was a little distracted with Astrid's chest in his face.

"When did... _this_ start for you?"

"Oh, around about that first day we met. I just repressed it. A lot."

Astrid kissed him again, smile playing across bitten, swollen lips.

"Your place it is."

As the blonde nymph slid from his lap to start driving, Hiccup heard lots of rational thoughts about how starting any sort of relationship with Astrid was completely mad, not to mention immoral, illegal, _depraved._

And then Astrid smiled at him again, so Hiccup told those thoughts to get lost.

-HTTYD-

 **Remember, story version!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't know how regularly this one will end up being updated at the moment, but... it got enough interest (and special requests!) that it is getting more!**

-HTTYD-

Hiccup's front door had scarcely closed behind them before he was pinned against it, Astrid's mouth hot and hungry on his and her hands on his belt buckle. It served as an effective handle by which she pulled him along, walking herself backwards as though she knew his home like her own. She bypassed his bedroom, both ending up in his bathroom.

"I need a shower."

"Oh?"

He was stupid with lust, barely able to speak. Astrid smirked, already working open his button and zipper.

"Yep. You do too. Handy, really."

His shower was in no way made for two people, but Hiccup got the impression they would be staying pretty close. So maybe space wasn't such a priority. Astrid's dress was so damn sexy Hiccup almost didn't want to remove it, but the promise of hidden secrets beneath were more than tempting enough to convince him. Undressing took considerably longer than frantic hands would suggest, because they couldn't keep from kissing. Buried wants were free, and it was nigh on impossible to _stop._ Finally, Astrid's dress came up and off, revealing strong muscles wrapped in soft skin and the swell of her chest encased within a midnight blue bra.

That came off seconds after Hiccup's shirt hit the floor, Astrid's breasts a hot, smooth pressure against his skin as they pressed together again and denying him the eyeful he wanted. Astrid's teeth nipping at his jaw jolted him, reminded Hiccup they had all the night to explore each other fully. Fumbling to turn on the shower, he let Astrid yank down his jeans, stumbling as his boots prevented removal. He swore, leant down to fix the problem and saw dark blue land around Astrid's feet, swallowing thickly as she stepped out of them.

Free of his own bottoms and boots, Hiccup looked up to see Astrid soaking beneath the shower spray, stretching luxuriously and stealing what was left of his brain as he took in his half-sisters nude form completely. Water added a shine, highlighting dips and curves he **ached** to touch and taste.

"You coming or what?"

Hiccup shoved down his boxers, almost tripping in his haste to comply. Astrid pressed against him, spreading moisture over his skin as mouths slid over each other again. It was all desperately surreal, but Hiccup couldn't bring himself to care as she rutted against his erection, dragging it over her muscled stomach. It leaked, still sticky with their earlier coupling. He rinsed off when Astrid backed up to do the same - as much as she could within the tiny space anyway. Then she was turning, bracing on the wall and wiggling at him enticingly. Her ass was incredible, soft and plush to the touch as Hiccup cupped and squeezed pliant flesh.

"Come on big brother, don't leave me hanging."

Hiccup was definitely going directly to Hel, the heat in his gut at Astrid's words only a teasing glimpse of the fire that awaited them. He fumbled slightly with their differing heights and lack of room to manouvre, but Astrid shifted helpfully until he felt give, felt slick softness take him in as Astrid sighed breathily. Her back was damp against his chest as they came flush, Hiccups breath coming in short, sharp huffs as his _sister_ grabbed one hand from her waist and pushed up, cupping her breast with his hand and moaning weakly as he squeezed.

"Thought you needed a shower."

She giggled, the motion doing something interesting to the way they joined and Hiccup gasped, desperately trying for air as Astrid tightened around him.

"Gotta be dirty to get clean."

Hiccup would have asked how having sex with her half-brother in an alleyway wasn't dirty enough for her, but Astrid was pushing back and working her muscles around his cock, stealing any semblance of thought from his mind. The close position meant he couldn't pull back far, left him making shallow thrusts deep within. Astrid arched and moaned, making the most sinfully sweet sounds when Hiccup palmed her breast and tweaked at her nipple. His only issue was not being able to watch her face, but memories of the way she looked twisting in ecstasy were fres in his mind from what couldn't have been even an hour ago, when Astrid had pinned him to a wall and thrown their entire relationship on its head.

His fingers tangled with hers on the wall, grip strong despite the slippery water. Astrid clung to him, voice growing thready and strained with every thrust and he could feel her tremble when he tugged at her nipple, when he bit teasingly at her exposed throat.

"H-harder!"

The water almost drowned her weakened voice out, but Hiccup heard, did his best to comply with her plea and felt her come apart in his arms oh so quickly afterwards, all but melting in place as Hiccup held her up. The way she moaned, those soft little whimpers... it was enough to make Hiccup go to pieces alongside her with a grunt muffled in her wet shoulder, secondary spasms rolling through them both as Astrid vocalised pleasure for feeling him come inside her.

"Mmm. Now I definitely need to shower."

It was a clumsy, ungainly effort with little room, but they exited the shower cubicle relatively clean at last. Astrid made a show of drying off, leaving a rather transfixed Hiccup staring as she swiped water droplets from her flushed chest. She smirked and giggled playfully, tossing a towel at Hiccup and strutting, quite naked, through the doorway and out of view. Hiccup dried himself off quickly and tied the towel around him, not quite as at ease with a nude stroll even in his own home, locating Astrid in his kitchen getting water.

"Thirsty?"

"Mhmm. I didn't drink as much as you, since I was driving."

"Doesn't alcohol dehydrate you anyway?"

Astrid cocked her head, thinking.

"True. You have a hairdryer right? I wanna take my braid out but not wake up looking like I was electrocuted."

Hiccup marvelled at how she was already at ease, comfortable in her surroundings.

"Yeah. Probably still plugged in next to my bed from earlier."

She grinned, left him watching her walk away - _wow!_ \- and Hiccup hastened to fill a glass of water before following her. Astrid was already perched on his bed, brushing her braid out with his hairbrush, swiping through the wet strands. She nodded pointedly at his towel, which Hiccup agreeably dropped; it was much easier to be naked with her eyes on him.

"Can I?"

He gestured lamely, but Astrid nodded, handed over the brush and let Hiccup work it through the long blonde river, golden as it ran down her back. She sighed happily, leant back and hummed as Hiccup brushed her hair. It was simple, intimate, sweet.

"Get comfy, once my hair is dry you're mine big brother."

It should probably feel wrong for her to call him that in bed, but Hiccup didn't care. He settled against the pillows, his own hair damp but not liable to hold half as much moisture as Astrids would. Watching her, Hiccup wondered if they'd made a huge mistake in letting this happen, but only for a second. They _both_ felt it, and had done for years. And it wasn't like they grew up together, sharing in proper brother-sister experiences. It was still criminal, and Hiccup doubted _anyone_ would accept it, but it wasn't for anyone but them to accept.

The hairdryer clicked off and Astrid shook her hair out, a silken, golden, _glorious_ mess tumbling down past her shoulders as she turned around, crawling up the bed to where Hiccup had been happily watching her. Slender fingers ran up the underside of his cock, swollen and twitching as Astrid leant in to kiss him. Her mouth was warm, soft, tongue slipping out to tease his lips. It was addictive, left him a little dizzy when she began stroking him. Not nearly firm or fast enough to make him come, but more than enough to make Hiccup whine and buck into that loose, tempting grip.

"Astrid... please..."

Hiccup couldn't help but beg, and it seemed to be what Astrid wanted to hear as her eyes lit up. Before he could do more than blink, hot breath was ghosting over his shaft and Hiccup's cock leaked with arousal at the prospect of more. A pink tongue slid out, left a wet stripe along the underside and made him strain upward more, seeking the wet muscle. Astrid's mouth curled into a mischievous smirk, big blue eyes fixed on his before Hiccup's head fell back as Astrid took half of him in at once, tongue rubbing and cheeks hollowed with the force of suction.

"Oh gods, As-" his words caught on a desperate moan "Astrid!"

"Hm?"

She hummed around his cock, looking up with those innocent eyes and her pretty lips stretched around him. How anyone could look _innocent_ in such a state was beyond Hiccup, but Astrid managed it with ease as she let much of him slip free, cool air on his wet shaft making Hiccup shudder. It wasn't enough to cool his ardour any, not when Astrid was tonguing his tip, running lips back and forth over his glans and moaning softly when she thought Hiccup was adjusting to the intensity of her mouth.

Her fingers struggled to meet around the base of his cock, but her hand still stroked what wasn't tormented by lips and tongue to leave Hiccup twisting and groaning. Everything about Astrid was so full-on, he didn't know why he'd expected sex to be any different. His hands buried in her hair, silky soft as it ran between his fingers. Astrid moaned when fingers scratched and massaged her scalp, something Hiccup took full advantage of as her mouth took him again, down and down and _how was she breathing?_ until he was choking on pathetic whimpers as Astrid swallowed around him.

"I-I'm gonna come!"

Hiccup could barely breathe, gasping out the warning but Astrid didn't so much as slow down, instead swallowing him down as he spilled and humming as though enjoying a sweet treat. She even tongued him to check he was clean, smirking when Hiccup whimpered as he grew oversensitive. His softening cock landed against his thigh as Astrid straightened up, licking her lips and winking at her breathless, trembling brother.

The bitter taste on her tongue couldn't stop him kissing her, Hiccup's mouth closing over hers hungrily as fingers slipped down over a toned stomach, dipping in to soft and smooth and wet. Astrid moaned encouragingly, bucked into his touch when Hiccup found a particular sensitive spot, gasping against his lips when his fingers curled inside her, seeking the hidden bump that made her knees buckle. Not one to be selfish in bed, Hiccup knelt between thighs that spread willingly for him. Astrid panted, flush of her neck and chest gorgeously enticing but he had a goal, pecking kisses along a quivering muscle before his lips found wet warmth. His tongue swiped and Astrid arched, swore under her breath.

Hiccup wrapped one arm around her thigh, stopping Astrid from crushing him between powerful limbs as he worked her with his mouth, her taste a heady boost to his own arousal as he felt his cock stir between his belly and the blankets beneath. He still couldn't believe it wasn't a dream, this gorgeous creature - his _little sister -_ a wanton wreck beneath his hands, his mouth and the sounds of Astrid's moans and whimpers filling his ears as she shuddered.

Watching Astrid come down from her high - and somewhat amazed by his ability to bring Astrid to such a beautiful climax - Hiccup felt his cock twitch at the sight of her, the taste of her still on his mouth. She reached for him, ignoring the wetness on his lips as they kissed, embracing. Without warning, Hiccup found himself on his back, Astrid sliding neatly atop him. It wasn't a situation he felt inclined to argue with, particularly as she slipped along his cock, coating him in her slick.

"Ohhh, you feel bigger like this."

Astrid seated herself steadily, lax and loose with climax but still biting her lip as she worked herself down slowly. Hiccup could only try to stay still, fearful of hurting her as she took him in inch by painstaking inch. Finally she was flush to his hips, quivering and breathing heavily, which had a rather hypnotic effect on her chest that Hiccup found his eyes drawn to.

Already a silken vice around him, Hiccup drew in a sharp breath as Astrid tightened further around him, that smirk on her face saying it was definitely intentional, intended to drive him utterly mad. The lithe nymph on top of him began to move, rocking herself up and down on his cock with purpose, seeking the right angle. When Astrid found it he knew, saw it in the way she convulsed and rutted down, changing to grind back and forth so Hiccup's swollen head would drag over the same wanting spots inside her. Each steady thrust brought more full-body shudders from Astrid, the sight of her using him to get herself off a potently erotic display. Hiccup felt he could probably come just watching her.

Her eyes fell closed, those pink lips parting on moans and gasps as Astrid rode him, taut thighs her only support as one hand cupped and tugged at a pert breast while the other delved between her thighs, brushing Hiccups cock as Astrid toyed with her clit. Never had he expected to see such a thing, and it was a strain on already tenuous sanity, her muscles beginning to quiver and ripple around him as Astrid climbed higher. Hiccup helped her reach the peaks of bliss as best he could, his hand reaching for her untouched breast to toy with the firm little pink nipple until she buckled. Gentle shakes became violent spasms as Astrid shuddered, shook and finally fell apart with obscene sounds of raw pleasure.

Clutching her hips, Hiccups own became frantic, wanting to come with those muscles contracting and gripping at him still and thrusting quick and fast, spilling into Astrid at last as his mind went blank with the flooding chemicals. Astrid slumped against him, panting wetly against his neck until her arms would bear her weight again. Sweat dampened her fringe, sticking to her reddened face as her breath continued to stay ragged and quick.

She'd never looked more beautiful.

"Help me down?"

Hiccup tumbled her gently, sticky mess between them ignored in favour of stolen kisses and caressing hands. He cradled Astrid close, tasting sweet kisses as she pecked his lips, smiled softly.

"You don't regret this, right?"

He shook his head, earning another soft peck.

"I probably should. That would be the _sane_ response. But... no. I don't regret it."

Astrid giggled, burrowing her head against his neck and kissing the bruise she left there earlier.

"Good. Me neither."

She left for the bathroom to clean up, leaving Hiccup still rather stunned about the whole change that had taken place. He couldn't even sufficiently thank Atali for hauling his unwilling self out that evening. How did one say "thanks for enabling me to hook up with my half-sister who I've harboured illicit incestuous feelings for for years?".

It didn't seem like something one could just slip into conversation.

Hiccup cleaned himself up with tissues from his bedside, sipped some water from the forgotten glass and awaited Astrid's return. He wasn't left waiting long, zero hesitation between them before they cuddled, Astrid's back against his sweaty chest as he rested against against the headboard.

"We didn't use protection."

"I know. I'm not an idiot, I'm on birth control. And I know your sexual history. So I wasn't worried."

That much was true, not that Hiccups sexual history was an especially long list of amorous escapades. And he knew Astrids too - like everything else, Astrid wasn't shy talking sex.

"Thanks for trusting me."

Astrid twisted to look at him, winking.

"Why wouldn't I trust my big brother?"

Hiccup chuckled, kissing the side of her jaw.

"We should probably talk about that."

"I know. But can it wait until tomorrow? You've got me all worn out."

Hiccup supposed that was fair, nodded and squeezed her gently.

"Alright. Tomorrow."

Making a small, gleeful and frankly _adorable_ sound of happiness, Astrid was quick to settle between Hiccups sheets with him, not shy about demanding he spoon her.

"Unless you wanna be little spoon? I don't mind."

Hiccup considered it.

"Maybe next time. C'mere."

Astrid smiled, settled in his hold and her breathing evened out surprisingly quickly. Her steady lullaby called him to slumber too, allowing the concerns of what they might have to face up to in the morning to fade away.

-HTTYD-

 **To absolutely nobodies surprise I wrote a massive lump of smut. Enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Got to admit, I was surprised by quite how... excitable the response was for this fic! But, hey, let's have some fun.**

 **To those hoping for Valka, sadly not! But do keep an eye out, I have a Valcupstrid prompt on my list for my 150th publish, so that's a thing.**

-HTTYD-

Hiccup confessed himself confused at first; there was a warm body in his arms and a mass of blonde hair in his face. For a second, he worried he'd picked up some blonde girl to try and bury his sickening attraction to Astrid (again), but... he'd not be cuddling her the morning after if that were true. And the particular shine of this head of blonde hair was distinctive.

Oh. Oh. He remembered.

Astrid kissing him in the club. Astrid pulling him out into the alleyway. Astrid wrapping her legs around his waist. In his shower. In his bed.

All Astrid memories.

"Stop thinking so loud. It's early."

Yep. That was definitely Astrid.

"Sorry."

"Hm."

Astrid burrowed further into the covers, shifting her bare ass against his morning wood and Hiccup realised they really had... oh gods, they really had had sex. A considerable amount, judging by the ache in his hips and the state of the room around them - a sign of abandon in the heat of the moment, when things had been knocked off or kicked off or rocked off of their usual spot, but the ardent lovers had been too busy to notice.

"Seriously Hiccup, go back to sleep."

"I need to pee and you have my arm."

Grumbling, Astrid moved enough to free him, then immediately stole his warm spot on the bed without so much as opening her eyes. Hiccup padded off to the bathroom, saw the bruise Astrid had left on his neck when she bit him there, prominent against his pale skin. Well, it hadn't turned out to be necessary as a reminder something really did happen - he'd had the very obvious evidence there in his bed when he woke, complaining about the early hour.

Relieving his bladder, Hiccup filled a glass at the kitchen sink, guzzling fresh cold water and returning to where Astrid hadn't moved at all. She was awake enough to shuffle over and let him back in, but adamantly silent other than to make a little happy huffing sound as Hiccup settled an arm over her again. He didn't quite fall back to sleep, but lightly dozed to the sound of Astrid's breathing until she was a little happier to be awake - his half-sister was not a morning person.

Oral hygiene, coffee and returning to the land of the living all came before Hiccup could even get coherent sentences out of Astrid, let alone that they could talk about the elephant in the room - their shared DNA and mutual incestuous lusting. Then the whole... messy night of sex should probably be addressed and discussed. Astrid eyed him sleepily from over her mug, having helped herself to his shirt from last night and wearing nothing under it, so if she so much as lifted her arms up Hiccup would get quite the eyeful.

Done with her caffeine infusion, Astrid got up, crossed the room and draped herself across his lap, fingers running over his hair as his buttons strained over her chest.

"I am going to be perfectly straight with you. I don't want to stop doing this, but I'll respect it if you do."

Astrid jumped straight into the conversation, still toying idly with his hair. Hiccup tried to find a proper response, but there was only one answer from him really.

"I don't either."

"Good. But we do need to have... rules. Like, if one of us gets this out of their system and wants to stop, we be honest with each other?"

Hiccup nodded; much as he considered it unlikely that he'd get Astrid out of his system, she raised a fair point.

"Right."

"Cus this is just physical right? Attraction?"

That question made the answer stick in his throat, not entirely sure he was being truthful when he responded.

"Yeah. Physical."

"Alright then. And the other thing is obviously that we can't tell anybody, since I don't fancy prison."

Hiccup snorted at how matter of fact Astrid was.

"Me either, so yeah, this is obviously going to stay a secret."

Astrid hummed, thinking.

"Then I have nothing else to add. You?"

"Uh. We shouldn't date other people while this is happening. It would still be cheating."

"That's a fair point. Add that to the list" Astrid made a daft mime of writing in thin air, then winked at Hiccup "anything else?"

Hiccup pondered, somewhat distracted by Astrid squirming in his lap, reaching up to pop one of the buttons on his shirt. Tearing his eyes away from the skin revealed, he tried to remember what he was thinking.

"How do we... hook up sounds weird."

"Good question. When I get home, we can text and compare schedules."

Gods, were they really discussing this? Hiccup was still getting his head around that fact when Astrid had made her way down two more buttons. One more would leave her straining chest exposed. His hand moved up, popping that one open and sliding his fingers beneath the fabric to stroke the skin of her breast.

"You know, I think I need a shower. Coming?"

Very little of what went on in that shower cubicle could have been considered cleansing, but Hiccup supposed it was the effort that counted as they left the bathroom (relatively) clean and dry. Hiccup put on shorts and a t-shirt to cook breakfast in and not get burned skin, while Astrid raided his wardrobe rather than go home in her rather rumpled "get lucky" dress. Well, Hiccup couldn't deny it had worked - he'd certainly been seduced by her. Repeatedly.

"Will you urgently require either of these back?"

Astrid quizzed, standing there in her bra, his boxers (since he'd apparently ruined her own underwear) and holding up a t-shirt and some jeans he wasn't sure even fit him anymore.

"No. You can keep them both if you want."

"Oh. Cool. Thanks."

The jeans moulded perfectly to her shapely legs, quite snug on the backside but Astrid was bending to pick up her shoes with no difficulties and it was one Hel of a view.

"I'd stay and test the limits of my body a little more, but I do actually have work later. So I ought to go home and be ready for that... I'll text you yeah?"

Hiccup nodded, feeling a little awkward without the burgeoning sexual tension of last night and this morning. At least, until Astrid stood by his door, looking at him expectantly. Thinking he'd locked her in, Hiccup got up to let her out, found himself hauled into a blistering kiss that left him faintly dizzy. Fumbling fingers managed to unlock the door, and with a last wink Astrid was off home. Leaving Hiccup with soiled bedsheets and his head reeling.

He tidied up first, not prone to such messiness. Astrid had simply been an excellent distraction. Washing machine whirring away with his bedsheets inside, Hiccup dumped his clothes from last night in the wash basket and flopped on the sofa, plucking long blonde hairs from the cushion cover with a flicker of nostalgia. Her hair had always been getting everywhere, he remembered from the occasional sleepover in that brief instance where Hiccup had tried to get to know their father.

It was a bust really; he'd raised Astrid and she didn't think much of him either. The man was considerably more interested in the baby-making process than he was in dealing with the actual results, and last he heard Astrid's mother was elbow deep divorce proceedings against the man. Staring absently at the ceiling, Hiccup jumped when his phone buzzed on the table. Reaching for it - Astrid wouldn't have gotten home yet, and she never texted while driving - he spotted 'Atali' on the screen, clicked on the green answering button.

"Hey Atali. Have a good night?"

"Very much so. You and your date were looking quite friendly too. How did that go?"

Hiccup swallowed thickly, very glad Atali wasn't there to see what was probably a mix of disbelief, guilt and terribly happy ecstasy on his face.

"It uh... it was fine. She drove me home."

"Hiccup. I spent the night at Heather's. So I know her friend did not come home last night."

Damnit. He was a little surprised, really. Atali wasn't often one to go home with someone on the first date, but she must really like Heather, which was sweet and he was happy for his friend.

"Fine. She stayed here."

If Atali really wanted to know, she'd wheedle it out of him. She giggled, and he heard voices he recognised as both Heather and Astrid in the background.

"So, you're still there? I'm guessing that means last night went really well for you. And you only called me to say you knew Astrid didn't make it home. So... I shall talk to you later."

She giggled again, and they said their farewells - including Heather and Astrid, who were also giggling. Hiccup wondered how much his sister was telling people about their night. He wasn't sure how to tell anyone. What if they were one of the people who knew they were related? That would be a dreadful crossover, and one Hiccup was fearful of.

Astrid did text him a little later on, and they did discuss when would be the easier times to meet. Hiccup felt like he was having an affair, in a way. All the secrecy, the people they'd have to lie to. It was all so surreal.

But it was only temporary right? Astrid had been pretty adamant that at least one of them would get the surging lusts out of their system. His money was on Astrid - by her own admission, her interest in him had started some four years after his. So really, he had more to get out of his system, but if Astrid tired of their... thing, what was he going to do? Insist she continue having sex with her brother?

Realising he was thinking himself around in circles, Hiccup got up and went for a jog. It wasn't something he did nearly often enough for any real health-conscious reasons, but it did help him to clear his head before he had to get ready for work. A quick shower - considerably less fun without Astrid sandwiched between him and the wall - and light lunch later, Hiccup set off to work.

"Are you ok buddy?"

A fellow mechanic - and his friend, really, Eret immediately spotted there was something on Hiccup's mind. Hiccup smiled tightly at his friend, shrugging off-handedly.

"Fine. Late night yanno?"

"Yeah, that hickey tells a pretty clear story. So who was she? Was she hot?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes, and Eret gave him an unrepentant smile, waggled his eyebrows suggestively before looking at what he was actually doing in the engine while Hiccup buttoned up his overalls, preparing to get stuck in himself under their boss' watchful eye. Glancing over the information sheet - mostly a list of what could be wrong with ticks for "definitely wrong", crosses for "not the problem" and question marks for "maybes" next to them, Hiccup got to work. As soon as they weren't been hawk-eyed over, Eret sidled along and continued to pester Hiccup for information about the person who left him with a love bite.

"Come on! Spill the beans!"

"No, go away!"

"H, you're a good friend. Now stop being such a bore."

"If I were such a bore, you would not be so fascinated by my life. Now go away."

Huffing, Eret scuttled back to his work before he got yelled at, whistling to himself as he effectively dismantled a crushed engine from the car it barely stayed in. Hiccup was fixing a host of minor problems in a car that just didn't get serviced nearly often enough. Replacing a worn out seal, Hiccup heard heavy steps, looked up to see their boss - a beefy, hefty man known only as Alvin - ensuring Hiccup was doing the correct job.

"Everything alright boss?"

A grunt was pretty much his only response before he was left to his work, spotting Eret pretending not to be waiting for the next chance to ambush Hiccup. He was like a dog with a bone, anxious to pester Hiccup for every detail of his generally lacklustre sex life. Trouble was, Eret knew Astrid. So Hiccup was going to share absolutely no details whatsoever. That way, he couldn't be caught out.

Hopefully.

It was an insight into what he'd signed up for though, keeping things from certain people to ensure the secret never got out. Hiccup finished out his shift, skillfully avoiding Eret's quizzing as often as possible until he was able to get in to his car and flee back to his home. A few texts from Astrid awaited him, one in particular that made Hiccup spit out the water he'd just sipped from the bottle in his car. Cursing as he wiped the screen dry, Hiccup was greeted with the fact Astrid had gone one further now - she was _sexting_ him. Pictures included. Like the one he was staring at now, her playful smile pretty much the only thing Astrid was wearing.

And if that wasn't enough, she'd followed it up with a rather... detailed, and incredibly **graphic** description of what she intended to do to him, one that made Hiccup unsafe to drive at first, blood quickly leaving his brain and pumping south. He closed the texts for his own safety, shaking off the dizziness as best he could and hurrying home where it would be less hazardous to his health to view them.

As if knowing the potent effect she'd have on him, Astrid had signed off the messages with little wink-faces. Almost taunting him with how easily she could inflame him, leaving him aching for her until they next saw each other three days from now.

Gods, what had he gotten himself in to?

-HTTYD-

 **It's very difficult to work this so it's not too similar to Taboo, so if it gets a little slow or, well, shit, bear with me. It's going somewhere. And the couples number three will be revealed by chapter... five. Whether or not it's limited to three? Well, you'll just have to wait and see.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, your authors chronic insomnia equals early updates!**

 **I realise to most of you it's different, but I admit I'm highly amused that Hiccstrid-incest is fine but Valcup-incest is weird. Like, it's cool, but some of you have weird standards.**

 **Moving on... I own no song lyrics in this chapter. All credit to Lordi.**

 **Speaking of credit, this fic now has a second contributor. A secret one, but they helped build the stories outline and... suffice to say many future smut scenes have been pre-arranged.**

-HTTYD-

Astrid watched the sweaty, almost broken man attempting to force out his last ten push ups. His arms were shaking, face red and wet, every movement accompanied by a visceral grunt. Her mind was, admittedly, elsewhere entirely, despite best efforts to stay focused. Usually, Astrid was far more disciplined.

But that was before... Hiccup.

Her stupid brother with his stupid sexual magnetism. They'd been hooking up a _month_ now. Astrid had expected the sexual tension between them to ease a little now it had an outlet, but her desire was undoubtedly growing. She only ever craved him more. And honestly, she wasn't sure if she was gleeful or dismayed about it. The fact she was increasingly wound up wasn't going unnoticed; friends and colleagues teased her, quizzed and ribbed about this mystery man of hers. Astrid told them it was a casual thing, so at least they stopped saying the word **boyfriend.** Not a word to ascribe to him. Nuh-uh.

Astrid knew it would abate. It was just physical, but it was a sickness. The symptoms would get worse before they got better. In this case, her symptoms just happened to be a deep, terrible lusting for her half-brother. One she was counting down the hours until she'd get to satisfy the urges of. Urges that had already begun to creep beyond the standard sex she'd grown used to from past, unadventurous lovers... Astrid wondered how much more creative they could get, looked forward to finding out.

When Astrid gets home, she finds an increasingly familiar scene before her. Atali and Heather cuddled on the sofa while Dagur was sprawled over an armchair, having a quiet movie night in. Astrid knew a pang of jealousy that Heather could have a public relationship with both her lover _and_ her brother, a pang she quashed quickly as she reminded herself just because Hiccup was both didn't mean she'd publicise it regardless. They just fucked.

A lot.

After a quick shower to wash the grime and sweat of a hard days work bullying people into physical fitness, Astrid heads down with her overnight stuff in her bag, tapping out a text to Hiccup that she was about to leave her place.

"Oh look, out on another hot date!"

"Bite me Dagur."

"I'll pass thanks. Don't do anything I wouldn't do! And that includes-"

"Not a lot. Be quiet. Crash in my room if you want, I won't be back tonight. Just don't leave a drool puddle on my pillow again."

"How dare you! I do not drool!"

Rolling her eyes, Astrid bade the girls goodnight, headed out to her car. Dropped Hiccup a text reminding him he owed her some extensive oral after their game last time - how long could he last while Astrid sucked him off? It was a fun game, well worth the aching jaw it gave her to have him a whimpering, writhing wreck. Hiccup fired back a surprisingly lengthy text detailing _exactly_ how he intended on repaying her... Astrid had to wait to start the car, dizzy with arousal. Damn him.

Almost the second the front door to his flat opened, Astrid leapt on him, kicked the door closed behind her while kissing him eagerly. As he stumbled backwards, Astrid noticed he'd finally moved the things nearest the door, knowing they'd get knocked over as this was generally how they greeted each other when she got there. Anything in their way was collateral damage as they fell on to the sofa, Astrid climbing into his lap properly and biting his jaw before they actually spoke.

"Hello to you too."

Breathless and smirking, Hiccup eyed the buttons of her shirt Astrid had undone on the way over, uncaring if one or two oglers spotted exposed skin on the short trip from her car to his flat. There was little chance his neighbours didn't know he was seeing someone in some capacity, given the regularity with which Astrid was quite vocal about her pleasure in just about every room available. Sometimes all in one night.

Much like tonight, where their undignified position on the sofa mattered absolutely zero as the two finally stopped, sore and sweaty and _sticky_ with the exhaustive night. Hiccup kissed between her shoulder blades, humming against her skin and even though she ached from feeling him fill her repeatedly, Astrid toyed with the idea of going again. Assuming Hiccup could. Even his stamina had limits, though they were certainly quite high limits; Astrid wasn't sure who wore who out, but it was a fun game either way.

Astrid wondered why they were cuddlers. There was no doubting they were, had been sleeping in each others arms since the first night, but she wasn't sure if it was because they were siblings, and had hugged many times before, or because Hiccup was so tactile it was just the natural after-activity.

"Hey... we should play a video game."

"Oh?"

Hiccup hummed the ask against her skin, sending a light tingle down her spine.

"Yeah. Ideas?"

"Well... what do you want to play?"

Astrid tried to think, remembering how they would play games as teenagers together, hoped it would give her the kick she needed to start on the lessening of this incessant, constant craving for him.

"Something violent. Gory. But team-worky. I have my laptop in my bag."

"Violent and team-worky? I have just the thing. Wanna kill some zombies?"

Her ears pricked up, and Astrid told herself she didn't miss it too much when Hiccup's warmth was gone from her back, when the cuddle was over as he moved to put on shorts, left to clean himself up before returning with his laptop in hand, turning it to show her the screen of the game.

"Seven days to die?"

"Yep. You kill zombies and try to survive. Lots of gory smooshing. Here, you use my laptop, I'll set up on the desktop. If you like it, we'll set you up on yours next time."

Astrid got stuck in to the killing quite quickly, but her character almost died of starvation and dehydration repeatedly until Hiccup explained how she also needed to actually survive between the killings. Pouting, Astrid took the information on board and did as little as possible to allow herself to continue the killing.

"Why are they chasing me now?"

"They can see you! And you're carrying stuff they can smell. Haul ass!"

She thought she was getting the hang of the game at last. Then the game switched to night cycle, and she was promptly slaughtered by the suddenly fast, feral creatures. Hiccup laughed at her disappointment, insisted she'd lasted much longer than he had the first few times he played it.

"Where were you anyway? I thought this was team player?"

"I was building the base that helps us live through the night. You just died too soon. Want to see it?"

Astrid nodded, crossing the room to see the base built on his desktop after closing the laptop in protest. Her heart did a bit of a funny turn; he'd not just built a fortification. It was a den, almost, with a bed and assorted creature comforts. Like Hiccup had built them a _home_ in that game. Shaking off the feeling, Astrid grabbed him and led Hiccup to his actual bed, intending on having him again before they finally went to sleep; it had been a long, exhaustive night but well worth it to feel him hold her, rock into her, kiss at her neck with soft gasps beating against her skin.

Finally satiated - for that night, at least - Astrid felt Hiccup curl around her back, chest slick with their mingled sweat.

"Oh. We have plans soon. Like... two weeks time."

"We do?"

Astrid nodded, rolling on to her back so they could take properly before succumbing at last to the call of sleep.

"Yeah. That game reminded me. Fancy dress party I've been 'invited to' by a girl at work. By which I mean pestered for two months straight before I agreed to go. Horror theme."

"Right... why am I going, exactly?"

"Because it's one of those places where nobody knows we're related. Exhaustive sex is spectacular and all, but you know I get a little stir crazy staying in too much. You don't need to think of a costume."

"I don't?"

She shook her head, grinning.

"Already picked ours out."

Hiccup rolled his eyes, kissed her mouth and nudged her back on to her side so he could settle against her, ready to sleep. Astrid grinned at her victory.

* * *

He plucked at his collar, frowning.

"I look completely ridiculous. How is this horror themed?"

"Because we're a set... I promise it will make sense at some point."

Hiccup had no idea how their costumes were supposed to match, tugging again at his collar. Astrid batted his hand away, straightening the little white rectangle. His priest outfit was simplistic, at least. Just put on the long black dress-robe-thing. Try to keep the dog collar in place. Astrid, on the other hand, had a costume that was more complicated, more explicit and definitely more 'horror' theme than his. Her corset-style crop top barely contained her breasts, hugged them in a particularly sinful shade of red, the same deep red of her almost illegally short skirt. Also in red? Her crimson lip stain, and the fake blood splattered across exposed skin as though she'd just landed from a messy murder.

The tamest part of her outfit was probably the sensible shoes; Astrid didn't do heels. Her hair was twisted up into a spiky bun style rather than its usual free-hanging braid, fringe tousled over her face that bore both the crimson lipstick and smudged, smokey eyeliner. Perched atop golden blonde locks was a headband with small black demon horns. The black of her horns matched fishnet stockings that she'd had to wait for the blood on her legs to dry for before putting them on. Hiccup hadn't suggested until after that she could put the stockings on first, then the fake blood. Astrid had glared.

"Short of performing you an exorcism, I fail to see how our costumes connect."

"Just... trust me. Ready to go?"

"If you say so."

He thought he looked ridiculous, but could see it was important to Astrid that they go somewhere they could just be two young adults possibly interested in each other. Not secret siblings having lots of secret sibling sex.

Not to mention... _damn,_ she looked fucking hot. Hiccup couldn't take his eyes off her. So it was a good job nobody would know they were related really, otherwise he'd be outing his hardcore lusting for his half-sister with the looks he gave her alone. After the drive to the friend-from-works home, Hiccup could see other cars parked outside, hear music, see a few cheap plastic skeletons strung up on the wall. He stopped Astrid before she slid from the vehicle.

"Who am I here?"

"My date. Otherwise it'll be real confusing when I leave lipstick stains on your collar."

Astrid said it so matter-of-factly. Hiccup could only nod in agreement, following the bewitching demon girl to the house, glad she at least didn't have him carrying a Bible. That would have been a little too much for him. Still, he clasped his hands as though praying when Astrid knocked the door, attempting to look like someone who communed with a god rather than accepting he'd been condemned to Hel the day he took his sister to bed. Well, an alleyway... then his shower... _then_ his bed.

"Astrid! Good you could make it. Brought a date?"

The door was answered by someone with a perfectly daubed slash mark on her pale neck, long black hair falling over her face and an even more severely tight corset style on than Astrid, also in black.

"Yep."

"Well, I like the match up. Come on in!"

Hiccup followed her in, letting his hands fall as he took in the leftover Halloween decorations, the fake pumpkins that just looked _wrong_ when it was still summer. Still, many of the attendees had clearly put some effort, real thought in to their costumes. Most people had some form of fake blood on them, but there was a variation from zombie to ghost to vampire, even what looked like some kind of murderous scarecrow in the corner talking to a 'dead' Marilyn Monroe. One person had even come as a bat.

They got drinks - bright red, naturally, from a table covered in things like jelly worms, gummy eyeballs and chocolate pumpkins. Hiccup glanced around, seeing that everyone there seemed to know each other.

"Why is she having a horror party in-"

"Summer? Rose is goth. That's not that different to what she changes in to after work. She doesn't wear a neck wound to the gym though."

Well, that answered his question. Hiccup downed his surprisingly pleasant 'blood' punch, fruity and sharp with a lingering sweetness. Astrid's criminally attractive costume was getting quite a few looks, but she'd turn and wink at Hiccup to let him know he wasn't in danger of her breaking their agreement about any involvement with other people until their... thing was over. The music was quite rough to begin with, but once he adjusted Hiccup coasted along with the heavy rock full of guitar riffs and rhythmic drums.

There was something strangely relaxing and incredibly terrifying about everyone just treating him like Astrid's date/boyfriend, and Hiccup opted to ignore both feelings when Astrid slid her hand through his, led him upstairs away from the majority of party-goers. A new song was starting, intro slow to start with but the momentum was building as Astrid pulled him into what he _hoped_ was a spare bedroom, not wanting to disrespect the hostess by defiling her bedroom but knowing instantly that he'd never resist Astrid.

 _Pretty girl, her head swirls_

 _Hot as hell she moans and hurls_

 _Eyes turn white, keep her tied_

 _She's spread eagle, opened wide_

Deja vu washed over Hiccup as Astrid found herself between him and a wall, legs open to allow him between them as they kissed, as she moaned into his mouth and lifted the card from his collar, pressing it to her lips for a second to leave a smudged lip-print there. His hands ran over her stocking-clad legs, already finding their way beneath her skirt.

 _There's a demon possessor_

 _Blaspheming her from within_

 _I slip my fingers inside her_

 _Lure the beast and make her come out_

Two fingers slipped into Astrid with ease as Hiccup pulled her underwear aside, finding Astrid already damp and growing wetter on his fingers as she wriggled, struggling to balance in the precarious position but unwilling to stop Hiccup's fingers from curving up to nudge that sweet spot inside her, tasting the moans of the demon nymph she was tonight. He lost track of the song as she bit his mouth, squeezed at his fingers before pushing him away, urging Hiccup toward the bed.

 _Sir, I hate to say this but_

 _Your daughter needs a sexorcism_

 _Sexorcism_

 _Sexorcism_

He was beginning to understand that demon and priest was more of a set to certain people - the righteous and the fallen. He wondered if there was hidden symbolism in the fact Astrid chose him as righteous and her as fallen, then figured it was far more likely she got a thrill in the tempting of a righteous man, which Hiccup was dressing the part of at that moment.

 _That little gods-forsaken whore_

 _Is on all fours,_ _begging for the priest to score_

At this point, Hiccup wouldn't put it past Astrid to have been waiting for this song; a lot of people listened to music during workouts, so she would certainly know what sort of music the gothic Rose was in to. Sure enough, she was crawling up onto all fours, twisting to smirk at him with her smeared lipstick and dilated pupils.

 _And who am I to decline_

 _An ass like that so primed for sacrifice?_

Hiccup tossed the priest garb aside, too restrictive to fuck in as he undid his trousers, the heavy rhythm and the perverse lyrics pushing, pulling them together and finally beginning to do justice to the sins of their union. It became a thumping background noise as Hiccup pressed inside Astrid, both crying out in unison and hopefully protected from being overhead by the song. He gripped her hips, fake blood tacky with her sweat as he brushed just above the hem of her skirt.

 _Father can you hear me cry?_

 _My screams are silenced by the other_

 _Now my body is not mine_

 _I'm trapped inside a horror story_

He'd not describe it as horror, but Hiccup could symapthise with his body feeling beyond control, mindless lust burning between he and Astrid as she rocked back on to him, testing his depth before beginning to pick up speed when Hiccup wasn't moving yet. He let the music carry him, let it drive him deeper inside Astrid and her moans and whines were buried in the music to all but him.

Maybe they were both fallen, but they'd corrupted each other and gone along willingly to Hel. Astrid bent further, stuck her ass up in the air and spread her knees wider, letting Hiccup's deep thrusts hit every inch of her and he delighted in the way she trembled, back arching as she curved and twisted with the forbidden pleasure. He pulled out, heard a primal growl from his demon lover as he flipped her on her back, again hoping the sticky blood on her back didn't ruin the sheets as Hiccup slipped beneath her thighs again, back inside her to soothe the feral creature, stroking quivering muscles to ensure Astrid wasn't too tensed up.

Satisfied she was only tight with impending climax, Hiccup resumed his thrusts, pushed her legs further apart to hit her deeper, surged between her thighs with more purpose, more urgency as he sought to satisfy them both. The song that had inspired them both had ended, another similarly heavy, perverse one taking its place but Hiccup was too far gone to hear more than Astrid's desperate, sinful gasps and moans against his ear. She writhed beneath him, almost looking like Hiccup was trying to push something out of her rather than _in_ to her.

"Oh fuck, so close!"

Astrid's nails clawed at his bare shoulders, drawing blood in her animal state as she scratched him roughly, head rolling back to invite his teeth to her throat. Hiccup teased her with that, not giving in to pleading whimpers with more than a few tantalising nips to sensitive skin. Astrid bucked, rutted, clutched and clung in her need to topple over the edge, seeming to be driven by the music, the environment, possibly even the symbolic corruption of her older brother as he filled her again and again.

They tumbled through the fiery peak together, feeling closer to heaven the further they fell from grace with their actions. Astrid quaked beneath him, eyes rolling back slightly as she lost control of her body from the heat of climax. He watched her come down, eyes clear and bright above flushed cheeks and smeared makeup as they panted, ragged breaths and breathless smiles shared while the two righted their clothes. Hiccup needed the priest garb now to cover scratches on his back, his chest. Astrid was possibly beyond presenting as presentable again, with her makeup ruined and the fake blood on her back smudged across part of a bedsheet. He tossed a blanket over it, and the two slipped out - Astrid to the bathroom, Hiccup downstairs without being spotted.

"That was risky."

Hiccup attempted to bring it up with Astrid later on, but his little demon nymph was not interested in being scolded.

"Our first time was in a semi-public alleyway Hiccup. This will always be risky. That... _that_ was hot."

-HTTYD-

 **Could barely write yesterday, this comes out in two hours... WRITING IS ILLOGICAL.**

 **If you do opt to listen to Lordi - Sexorcism? Skip the first minute and a half, its an intro instrumental.**


	5. Chapter 5

**StayingOnAnon: no it wasn't aimed at you, it's just a general observation of mine.**

-HTTYD-

Hiccup frowned lightly, looking at Astrid pensively.

"The party was one thing, but... I feel like this is playing with fire. We aren't a _couple._ "

Astrid shrugged.

"I'm not suggesting we go on another public double date. That would be ridiculous. But come on, we're never going to be able to tell those two we're related. Heather knows way too much about our sex life for that."

"She what now?"

Shrugging again, Astrid gave him her best 'oops' look.

"She's my best friend, we talk about sex. And when it comes to you, I don't have many options, and I have to talk to _someone._ Heather is the person I'm closest to, and anyone else I'm close to knows we're related. Atali is your best friend, don't you guys talk about this stuff?"

Hiccup pondered, shook his head.

"Uh, not really. We're both a little reserved about talking private things when it involves someone else. Atali knows she can talk to me about anything if she wants or needs to, and I know I can talk to her. That's enough for us, really."

Astrid hummed, leaning back against his chest as she thought to herself.

"Huh. Maybe it's cus I've had sex with Heather that we're different."

Hiccup blinked.

 _"You_ what now?"

Twisting in his arms, Astrid looked up at Hiccup.

"Have I never told you that?"

"Nooooooo. Definitely something I would have remembered hearing about."

"Oh. Thought I did. Yeah, we'd fool around now and then. We knew we wanted different things from relationships, and we already knew we adored each other _platonically._ So it was just... a good way to let off steam now and then."

"Uh-huh... I'm still on the part where you're apparently bisexual and I never knew that."

Astrid shrugged again, curling a leg over his hip as she moved to lean over his body more.

"I've never bothered to put a label on it. I like sex. Sex makes me feel good, and I'm not embarrassed to enjoy it, and I don't feel shame in allowing myself to have sex for the sake of sex, not because of love or commitment or whatever other nonsense people insist it has to mean. What does gender matter if I'm feeling good with someone?"

Hiccup nodded, understanding what she was saying.

"Fair enough. I was just surprised it had never come up. You're not shy, and I thought I knew all the people you'd slept with."

"Actually, that's fair. We don't use condoms, I should have been more open. I apologise. I don't have sex with girls that often, Heather is one of... four women, in total? And she's the only one I've been with more than twice. Men is, including you, around the dozen mark including one night stands."

Mind reeling for a brief second, Hiccup nodded again and flicked off the thoughts. Astrid was engaging in a sexual affair with her own brother; Hiccup would be a hypocritical dick to have assumed he was the only 'outside the norm' adventure of her life. Not that he really thought it abnormal either, now he considered it - Astrid definitely liked sex. He was currently an exceedingly happy benefactor of that fact. And with his own best friend a fan of female lovers, Hiccup had no _judgement_ for Astrid either. Telling his brain to go away, Hiccup happily indulged in the soft mouth of his sister against his own.

He found himself agreeing - unsurprisingly, with Astrid increasingly naked as she brought it up - to the 'double date' with Heather and Atali. Hiccup and Astrid had been... 'hooking up' didn't seem to do it justice, but it was what they were calling it, for a little over two months now. And aside from Rose's party last month, when Astrid had become some kind of demonic sexual creature seducing him in a terribly inappropriate place (Hiccup ignored the niggle of thought about how the alleyway was inappropriate, as was their _entire_ relationship at all), their illicit encounters had all been conducted at his place. He was uncomfortable with the notion of things expanding beyond that.

Then it would cease to just be sex. They'd be presenting as a _couple,_ people who did relationship-y things. And they weren't. They never could be. Astrid would always be his little sister, and they were just venting the twisted wants inside themselves for the other, and when they got that done with, these few months would be relegated to locked up memories, something to never be shared with another.

Still, he knew Astrid was aware of the limitations of them. Heather and Atali were as safe as it got, as they simply thought Hiccup and Astrid were just two people who met and started sleeping together. They'd given no indications of knowing each other beforehand. So Hiccup supposed it wasn't too big an issue for them to just go over to Astrid and Heather's place. He was overthinking. Astrid disapproved of such a thing, judging by the way she was unbuckling his belt with a clear intention of drawing Hiccup's attention to her and nothing else.

It was _very_ effective.

All too soon, Hiccup found himself climbing out of Atali's car outside of Heather and Astrid's home.

"Hey! Glad you could finally leave your man cave and come over here."

"Nice to see you again Heather."

The dark haired girl winked, slinging her arms around Hiccup in a friendly hug before she moved over to her girlfriend.

"You too. We haven't actually seen each other since the first date, since you and Astrid are always bunking up at your place. Surprised you haven't broke the bed yet."

"You're assuming we only use the bed Heather. Hey babe."

Astrid wasn't even hesitant to throw her arms around his neck, to kiss Hiccup openly in front of Heather and Atali. Hiccup was a touch uncomfortable, the ingrained need for secrecy protesting but he shushed it with the knowledge that was what these two expected of them.

"Hey Astrid."

She smiled, leant in to his arms cosily for a cuddle there and then before leading him further in to the girls little house. Hiccup spotted the beginnings of dinner preparation in the kitchen, gestured absently.

"You want some help?"

"You cook?"

Heather asked, face betraying a hint of surprise before it was gone again. Hiccup didn't even have to answer - Astrid and Atali both praised his skills in the kitchen. Hiccup was glad to be invited in to help cook, rather than loiter thinking about how bizarre it was to be in an environment where he and Astrid weren't having to act like socially acceptable siblings.

Especially after dinner, when Astrid perched on his lap with his arms lazing around her waist. Heather and Atali were sat next to each other, holding hands and leaning toward each other. It made Hiccup so happy to see how his friend had seemed to click with Heather so naturally. The two women looked upon the embraced siblings, and Hiccup got the impression the following conversation had been had before without him there.

"So you two still aren't actually a couple?"

Heather quizzed, and Astrid shook her head.

"Nope."

"You just sit there being all couple-y, and spend lots of time together and get on really well, and are so damn cuddly?"

"Yep."

"And have amazing sex? Damn girl, why would you risk him going anywhere?"

Astrid laughed, leaning in to Hiccup more comfortably.

"Does he look like he's going anywhere?"

"Fair point. He is a happy looking captive."

Hiccup stayed quiet; he was happy to be sat holding Astrid, certainly. But this hinting at longevity made him unsure what to say. Thankfully, conversation moved on, a couple of night-cap drinks loosening them up to more fun, daft chatting where the friends shared funny stories with the others respective sexual partners. Hiccup could feel the atmosphere shift slightly as evening gave way to night, and for the first time ever Hiccup was led toward Astrid's bedroom. The environment itself was of little consequence at that moment, with Astrid sliding against him so sweetly.

Clothes seemed to simply vanish beneath hands as they undressed each other, falling into Astrid's bed - made, but still a little rumpled even before bodies impacted it. Astrid was even more potently responsive beneath his fingers tonight, mewling and squirming with breathless gasps as Hiccup touched heated skin. He kissed the flushed warmth that ran down her neck and collarbone, unable to keep himself from tasting her skin before he was drawn back to her mouth, kisses hungrier tonight.

They'd had slow sex a few times, but it was usually after a frantic nights passion exhausting them, leaving spent and lazy lovers who just _had_ to have each other again before they went to sleep. It had never been so... _intentional_ before, Astrid's mouth sliding down his cock in a languid stroke to make him shake as she used her tongue to check Hiccup was hard, not that she'd ever really struggled to get him aroused. Hiccup reached for her, cradled her with one arm while his other hand slid down her belly, spreading her to find the firm little nub of her clit to tease. Astrid trembled, buried her face in his neck and moaning weakly against his skin.

Her legs locked behind his back as Hiccup nuzzled inside her, clutching him between her trembling thighs. Hiccup stroked her quivering muscles, trying to soothe Astrid before he dared try to move. Feeling her relax around his cock, Hiccup rocked into her with steady thrusts, unable to pull back far with Astrid's fiercely strong leg muscles clinging to his hips and waist, ankles flexing against his lower back. Her hands wound into his hair, Astrid's ragged breaths wet against his mouth when kissing became impossible as Hiccup's thrusts left _him_ scarcely able to breath, his sister doing little better. Wide blue eyes fixed on his as Astrid arched, vice-grip of her hands in his hair and on his shoulder easing to reach down and clutch at bedsheets.

Hiccup watched his lengthening thrusts roll through Astrid's body, breasts rocking in time with the press of his hips, eyes locked on Astrid's twisting and writhing as he saw the tightening of her muscles that he knew meant she was close to coming undone. The growing heat around his cock climbed higher, and just before Astrid completely shattered under him Hiccup heard words that probably should have gave him pause.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Instead, it was the most natural reflex to answer in kind, feeling Astrid shudder and shake as she came with a choked sob against his shoulder. Hiccup wasn't far behind her, emotional weight adding to the explosive climax as he spilled inside her spasming body. They rocked and trembled together until the surging heat cooled, leaving Hiccup to raise up slightly on shaking arms to look at Astrid properly. She looked a little afraid now, as though frightened what would be said next.

* * *

Oh gods, had she actually _said_ that? Had Astrid actually let herself not only fall for her stupidly attractive, sweet, sexy and caring big brother, but _tell_ him she had? Gods, gods, gods...

Oh.

He'd said it back.

Astrid looked up at him, wide emerald eyes soft on her as Hiccup sought confirmation her emotional utterance hadn't been a heat-of-the-moment lie. It wasn't, not even a little bit. She nodded, leaning up to kiss him on his little pouting lip, pulling back to see a breathless smile on his handsome face.

There was a shock there, she knew, but neither were in denial any longer and Hiccup agreed with Astrid that the 'proper talks' could wait until tomorrow. A playful round two became a messy round three, left Astrid boneless and satisfied and wrapped in the arms of a man kissing her shoulder and murmuring "love you" sleepily against her skin before the two succumbed to slumber.

Sleeping next to Hiccup had been an addiction of hers from the start, the way their limbs tangled together whether or not Hiccup big-spooned or little-spooned, the warmth of his breath on her neck or the tickle of his hair on her face when she woke wrapped around his back. He was such a cuddler, and she greatly enjoyed it. Astrid woke, warm and content and ignoring the grumble of her belly demanding breakfast after a hearty expenditure of energy last night. Hiccup chuckled, hand flexing before he pulled her closer.

"Morning."

She could _hear_ the smile in his voice.

"Morning."

Astrid pushed back, finding Hiccup firm against her lower back and guiding his hand down. He complied with Astrid's silent plea, stroking her clit and encouraging wetness from her. She hissed as he pressed in, a little sore from last night but aching to have him regardless. Hiccup settled inside her, cradling Astrid against his chest and kissing the side of her jaw. Her leg hooked over his, giving him room to thrust and rock into her, Hiccup's girth stretching and filling her until Astrid felt dizzy with the building heat.

Hiccup rolled them, pressing Astrid on her front with his body hot against her back. Moans muffled by bedsheets sounded as Hiccup hit her deeper, his fingers tangling in hers. His breath condensed on her shoulder, Hiccup's ragged pants feeding her desire as Astrid felt her body tighten. Gasping breathlessly as she shuddered, Astrid felt Hiccup spill hot and thick inside her before settling heavily on her back, his quickened breaths tickling her ear through her hair.

Comfortable as she was, Astrid nudged Hiccup off her so she could catch her breath, immediately folded in to his embrace as Hiccup cuddled her to his chest. His heart beat steadily beneath her ear, fingers playing idly with her hair.

"Sleep well milady?"

"Mmm. Waking up was pretty good too."

Hiccup let out a light chuckle, stretching his legs under the blankets still twisted and rucked around their lower limbs chaotically. Astrid ran her fingers lazily over his lean abdomen, enjoying the contours of his wiry body.

"So, we should talk."

"Yeah. Later. Heather and Atali both have work so we'll be alone in an hour or so."

Hiccup made a sleepy sound of agreement, then regrettably began sitting up alongside Astrid. The cosy sheets were far more inviting, but Astrid was hungry. Sharing one bathroom between four of them was a little tricky and if Astrid and Heather weren't totally used to seeing each other naked it could have been much more awkward.

"You two are like some secret culinary match up."

Astrid commented as Hiccup and Heather teamed up to make breakfast, full English style. It was hard to tell who made better bacon, though Heather had the edge on eggs while Hiccup presenting her with toast and a kiss definitely made him more popular. And their bonding over cooking definitely seemed to be the starting point of a friendship between Hiccup and Heather - Astrid already got along with Atali, since she often spent time at their place.

"Well, I have drugs to science up and Atali has lives to practice saving. So you two kids have fun!"

Rolling her eyes as they hugged goodbye, Astrid waved off Atali and Heather before turning back to go crawl into Hiccup's inviting lap. He slid his arms around her waist, nuzzling her shoulder.

"This isn't passing, is it?"

Astrid asked, figuring there was little point dancing around it. Just like when they started this... thing.

"I don't know. I'd say what we started _has_ passed. This isn't just physical anymore is it?"

"No. Definitely not."

They talked, untangling the web they'd made with their strange arrangement. Astrid knew the end result before they got there; they'd fallen in love. Hiccup agreed, reiterated that he felt the same about her. Astrid hadn't doubted it, but it was nice to hear.

"So, how are we going to do this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... yeah, there's people in the city who have no idea we shared a sperm donor" Hiccup's choice of words was fairly accurate, particularly where his own conception was concerned, Astrid supposed "but there are people who _do_ know. Are we never going to tell our parents we're in relationships? I work with Eret almost every day, and he knows we're related."

Astrid sighed, burrowing tighter in to Hiccup's chest.

"I know. Our friends can never really meet our parents, cus if they say something it'll come out... I guess we just, I don't know, keep doing what we're doing and figure it out along the way. I don't think there's a handy rule book for this sort of thing."

"And even if there was, when have you ever followed rules?"

She found herself smiling, laughing even. Hiccup had this _way_ of making her feel lighter. At ease. And even though they had lived in the same city, the two hadn't even seen each other properly in months before that fated double date. Now? Astrid saw Hiccup a couple of times a week minimum, and their time together wasn't always sexual. They watched movies and played video games together, and Hiccup defended his cooking from Astrid's attempts to help that often ended in her burning something. There was an intrinsic trust, a safety in the knowledge her big brother would never hurt her. Astrid knew that, just like Heather, she could tell Hiccup anything.

Honestly, when she added all of that to their indescribable sex life... how was she _not_ going to fall in love with him, really?

After Hiccup left a couple of hours later, needing to get ready for his afternoon shift at work, Astrid slumped down and sighed deeply to herself. When she was _with_ him, all the taboo and restrictions and madness seemed to just disappear, but when they were apart, cold reason and logic slithered in to remind her that entering a relationship with him was pure madness, really. And it was. Astrid just didn't care.

He made her _happy._

The sound of her phone ringing made her jump, surprising her out of her thoughts. Astrid reached for it, quirking an eyebrow at the name on the screen, since the person in question generally preferred to text.

"Hey Cami, what's up?"

"What's up? What is up, my dear cousin, is that we haven't seen each other in weeks. Presumably because you're so busy with your mystery man, but this is me making an actual phone call to demand your actual time soon!"

Her cousin, Camilla - better known as 'Camicazi' for her manic energy and slightly destructive traits, Cami for short - all but yelled down the phone, laughing along with Astrid. The other girl was her only real family in their city, and they'd had some truly legendary times together out on the town.

"I'm sorry, yes, we should have a girls night out soon."

"Excellent! When do I get to meet the new boyfriend?"

Astrid shook her head, then remembered Cami couldn't see her and rolled her eyes at herself.

"You uh... I think you've probably met him before" well, it wasn't a total lie, Astrid hadn't said they _didn't_ know each other "but I'm keeping him safely away from family, yanno?"

"Hey, I get it. Our family is fucked up. Fair play. I'll have to sneakily encounter you guys sometime. So, girls night out soon yes? Bring Heather, she's a riot!"

"Oh, uh, yeah. She's got a girlfriend now, Atali, they are pretty serious. So if I bring them, no poaching ok?"

Cami had a reputation - mostly overinflated, but it had happened once or twice - for tempting people away from new relationships. She didn't really see Atali being tempted, but at least Cami wouldn't make anything awkward by trying. She wasn't exactly subtle.

"Ok ok, I promise to try and contain my natural sex appeal, but no guarantees! I can't just turn it all off, it's natural you know?"

Several minutes ridiculous banter later, Astrid promised to chat with Heather about when best would work between the four of them for a girls night out. As she hung up, Astrid wondered how the fairly quiet but utterly charming and lovely Atali would handle Cami, who drank men twice her size under the table and broke one guys jaw when he wouldn't take no for an answer. That girl was _wild._

Not that anyone would know it to look at her - Cami was barely five foot five, with blonde hair and blue eyes and a smile of feigned innocence that made her barely look old enough to buy cough medicine. It belied a somewhat feral girl who had frightening skills with throwing knives.

As Astrid contemplated the possibility of a night out with Cami, Heather _and_ Atali, she realised that somehow, she was going to have to swear them to secrecy on the identity of her boyfriend. Not a terribly big deal, but when she was smashed out of her face Heather could barely talk straight, let alone remember what was secret and what wasn't. That was how Atali had found out about Heather and Astrid's friendly hook-ups, and it took a good half an hour the next morning to convince the poor girl that it was nothing more than playful flings when they were bored or pent up, and that Astrid had zero intentions of getting between them in any way, shape or form.

Thankfully, all that drama was over with now. On to the next one - not letting her cousin find out she was screwing her brother.

-HTTYD-

 **And now the chapter is over, no points for guessing who Hiccup and Astrid may or may not get overly friendly with.**


	6. Chapter 6

**In answer to a review, no, cousin incest isn't** ** _illegal._** **At least not here in England. You can even marry them here. I do know (from research) a few American states don't prosecute consensual adult incest, but marriage between them is still illegal. The law is a strange fish.**

-HTTYD-

There was something about the _wall._ Astrid didn't know what it was, but all Hiccup had to do was back Astrid up against some kind of wall-like surface and she generally ended up a weak-kneed mess.

Well, maybe she did know. Maybe it was because it reminded her of that first time.

Hiccup had noticed that it got to her too, so he now seemed quite enamoured with pressing her to anything that vaguely resembled a wall and watching how Astrid devolved there and then. His mouth crushed against hers, hands on her hips as Astrid shivered, ground against him and mewled happily against his lips when she felt him growing hard.

"Turn around."

If he weren't so close Astrid wasn't sure her legs would have held her, his gravelled voice leaving her _weak_ as she complied with his words and twisted, trapped pleasantly between firm chest and hard wall. Hiccup lifted her skirt, tugged down her underwear, breath hot and damp against her neck as fingers skated across her thigh. She hadn't been lying when she joked to Heather the only reason they hadn't broken the bed was because half the time, they never made it there.

There _had_ been a broken table. The occasional breakable object knocked off of its usual sturdy, safe place by tumbling bodies. Astrid couldn't describe it better than addiction; she was hooked on Hiccup, chasing their fire like a drug and coasting along on a constant high. She reached back blindly, clutching at his hair, the back of his neck as Hiccup stroked her clit, teasing fingers inside her with shallow dips that only served to stoke her need. His cock brushed her thigh as Hiccup freed himself, groaning when Astrid twisted to find his mouth before she could do nought but gasp breathlessly, feeling him make shallow strokes rather than fill her all at once.

Anticipation carried over to frustration, left Astrid ready to turn around and hurt him if Hiccup didn't get a damn move on. Luckily for his bodily safety, Hiccup wrapped his hands around her hips and slid all the way in. His girth stretched her, body always taking a minute to adjust to the feel of him but Astrid welcomed the faint ache, knew it would fade into mind-melting pleasure. He settled, fitting against Astrid's back with his strained voice and weak, ragged breaths.

When would this _stop?_ Was there a finite point where it couldn't get any better?

She had no room to move as Hiccup rutted against her, unable to press back and get him deeper, left to wait for Hiccup to thrust and send those darts of pleasure shooting up her belly, settling there to build. Astrid's face was braced against her bent arm to stop it being shoved into the wall, left her moaning and swearing into the minute space there, skin prickling under the fierce grip he had on her. She clenched around him, heard Hiccup grunt in response as his hips bucked, hit her deeper. Her legs trembled, jelly-like with every thrust.

A hand shoved under her shirt, reaching up to grope her breast and pinch at her swollen nipple. Astrid shuddered, melting backwards against Hiccup as he pumped his hips harder, swelling inside her. His low whines in the back of his throat preceded the sticky heat inside her, cursing under his breath and reaching down to work Astrid's clit until she came clenching around his cock, squeezing at him as he started to soften.

Hiccup helped her stumble backwards, falling to the sofa as his come leaked out of her, probably leaving a mess on his jeans but Astrid was too boneless to care. Resting comfortably against him with a happy sigh, Astrid looked up at the window to watch the sun slowly begin to sink down.

"When is it you're seeing Cami?"

Ugh, there went her buzz, replaced with worry about juggling best friend and cousin, who absolutely could not discuss her boyfriend.

"Night after tomorrow."

Forcing her legs to work, Astrid got up to go clean herself up. Hiccup had changed into clean bottoms when she came back, arms open to allow her into his embrace as they cuddled on the sofa.

"Are you worried?"

"A little. I kinda wish I'd said Heather was busy and just gone out with Cami on my own. This is hard."

Hiccup sighed, rubbing her back soothingly.

"I know. My mom asked if I was seeing anyone on the phone, I hesitated a little too long before I said no and she got excited, so I had to really work to convince her. I hate lying to her."

Astrid kissed his hair, the two settling closer together and just taking comfort in each others presence. It was all they could do really, because they had few alternatives when it came to the trials of their relationship; it was the price they paid to be together.

"Can we order pizza? I love your cooking but I need junk food, and I think we burn off enough calories."

Chuckling, Hiccup agreed, and they got in another quick round of... exercise while waiting for the pizza to actually arrive. Snuggled up in pyjamas after cramming food dripping in hot cheese into her mouth, Astrid got comfy between Hiccup's legs, back against his chest with his arms loosely slung around her.

"Better?"

"Yeah. Xbox then bed?"

"Sounds good milady."

Video games together had started as Astrid's attempt to remind herself their connection was just physical, but now it was something they did in a very couple-y fashion. By which Astrid meant she would sit in his lap and make Hiccup play around her, just so they could still cuddle. She did so love cuddling up with him.

Then there was more cuddling in bed, with Hiccup all handsy and nuzzle-y, pecking kisses on her lips and cheeks and nose, murmuring that he loved her into the darkness. Astrid couldn't seem to resist grappling with his waistband, wriggling out of her pyjama shorts for a last half-dressed fumble before sleep was a possibility, his mouth on her neck as they trembled and Hiccup's slowing heartbeat her lullaby to slumber.

Reluctantly peeling herself away from his arms to go to work the next day, Astrid couldn't avoid his effect on her even there as she saw Rose, stomach doing backflips as she remembered the undeniable desire to take Hiccup's righteous self and corrupt him. It was a fall from grace he seemed perfectly happy to leap headfirst in to. She had wondered at first... was she being selfish? Hiccup was sweet and good, he could find someone who would love him how he deserved, and it would be someone who he could introduce to everyone.

But Hiccup wore that worry away with his kiss, his touch, the way he breathed her name or whispered that he loved her. The way he looked at her erased Astrid's doubts, his hips slotting between her thighs chasing away any further concerns until there was nothing but _this is right_ left in their place.

Shaking off the thoughts of Hiccup between her thighs, Astrid turned her attentions on the sweaty woman doing pull ups. She was also looking at Astrid like she'd love nothing more than to beat her with a kettlebell. That meant Astrid was doing her job. A good run on the treadmill between customers burned off some excess energy, got that wonderful burn going in her thigh muscles. Strong thighs for holding Hiccup between...

No Astrid, **_b_ _ehave._** Focus on work. She could climb her brother-boyfriend later.

Changing in to her standard corset and skin-tight leather after work - Astrid had no idea how Rose got those things on after a shower, or after working up a sweat - Rose turned to Astrid as she was putting on a t-shirt. There were a couple of healing bruises on her skin from getting rough with Hiccup, and Rose definitely seemed to know that judging by the smirk on her freshly-painted lips.

"So that date you brought to my party is working out well then?"

"I don't know _what_ you're talking about."

"Well it's either that or you lost a fight, but you have the look of someone well fucked and I know you can kick anyones ass."

Astrid rolled her eyes, but a grin stole across her face.

"Yeah, I can't really argue with that."

"I knew it!"

It was so strange, being able to be so openly date-y with some people but others Astrid had to watch what she said. Sighing as she pulled on her hoody - absolutely _not_ stolen from Hiccup - Astrid bade her colleague farewell, then headed home. Heather was sat on the sofa with Dagur, both looking up over the back of it at her and showing everyone what a brother and sister should probably behave like. Alas, it was far too late for she and Hiccup now.

"You alright babe?"

"Hungry!"

Heather laughed, pointing toward the serving of dinner in the kitchen waiting for Astrid.

"You are an angel."

"Isn't she just?"

Dagur grinned over at Heather, then looked back at Astrid.

"I hear you ladies are off on a girls night out tomorrow."

"Yeah, my cousin wants to hang out with me and Heather and meet Atali. Speaking of, where is she? She practically lives here now."

"Work. Medicine is a demanding profession you know."

Astrid stuck her tongue out at Heather.

"I'd love to put you through a day of my training, see how _demanding_ labelling three hundred bottles of morphine feels then."

"Yeah, I don't do that."

Astrid shrugged, throwing the food Heather left out in the microwave so it could get on its way to her stomach. Perching on the armchair Dagur usually inhabited, she shoved rice and chicken in her face while the siblings argued about the method of someones cooking on the tv. Astrid idly tuned them out, pondering how much reminding Heather not to mention Hiccup would be considered excessive.

"Well, I guess I better get going some time tonight. See you later little sis."

That was Dagur's nickname for her. It was sweet, but since Astrid had taken to calling Hiccup 'big brother' it did serve as yet another reminder of the perversion she engaged in. Heather walked him out, returning to Astrid scratching the side of her cheek.

"You alright?"

"Yeah. You know how his scruff itches when he hugs you?"

"Ah yes, stubble rash. Fun times."

Hiccup's usual stubble only occasionally left a sharp scrape over her skin, one Astrid didn't really tend to mind. But Dagur had much more bristle on his face. After briefly chatting about the outing the following night, Astrid and Heather said goodnight and departed for separate rooms. She passed some time sexting Hiccup, who would have pouted through the phone if he could at Astrid's teasing messages. Her sending him a photo from the mid-point of changing into pyjamas - meaning Astrid only had her lace briefs on - only served to wind him further up. Astrid was little better when he sent her _evidence_ of her effect on him, tingling and frustrated knowing she'd not see him until the day after tomorrow.

Well, that was the plan. Astrid ended up taking her things to get ready to Hiccup's and having a mix of quickie sex and emotional support before she headed off to meet Heather, Atali and Cami. Hiccup was very reassuring, and the look in his eyes firmly suggested that he wished he were coming to the outing too, so there could be more illicit encounters in alleyways.

Astrid almost invited him.

Forcing herself to go, Astrid kissed him goodbye and ventured out to the club where Heather and Atali were already waiting, looking all sweet and couple-y holding hands and smiling at each other. Plus the occasional glare as some passing guy made a crude comment.

"Gods Astrid, can you really not stay away from him?"

"What? I have needs" Heather gave her the 'oh I know!' look, which was fair since she _did_ know "now remember-"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't mention the boyfriend."

Heather smiled indulgently, trying not to roll her eyes as Astrid pestered her again.

"Well, that is no fun at all! I was counting on you for the deets!"

Materialising out of thin air, Cami appeared next to them with a pout on her face and her hair in its perpetual mess, giving the slight female a look of controlled chaos waiting.

"Sorry, sworn to secrecy. It's girls night! Hi- he's not a girl" Astrid was pretty sure her heart stopped when Heather almost said Hiccup "so not getting details out of me."

Cami crossed her arms, frowning.

"You are no fun at all. Who's the new cute one?"

"Behave."

Cami glared.

"Fine."

"Atali, meet my cousin Cami. Pay no attention to anything she says. She's crazy."

Slightly bemused, Atali smiled politely.

"I see. I'm Atali, it's lovely to meet you."

"Well of course, I'm a riot. Let's go get very drunk."

The shorter blonde made a beeline for the bar, staring down a six foot man who tried to push in front of her and managing to be heard over loud music to order their drinks. Atali had never seen Cami doing shots before, so Astrid wasn't surprised she stared in shock at the consumption, chuckling to herself. Despite everything she was worried about, Astrid _had_ missed Cami. Short and spunky, she leapt up on Astrid's back to point out people in the club she thought were hot, loud enough that some of them heard.

"If you were on the pull I think you'd cause a riot."

"Hey, you said I can't bang the happy couple so I might have to go on the pull. Either that or get so blind drunk I have to sleep in your bath again."

Astrid snorted, reminded of the sheer state Cami had been in that time. Heather hadn't noticed when turning the shower on, and Astrid had been woken by them both screaming in annoyance and shock.

"So Cami, what is it you do?"

"I work in a computer lab. I'm a programmer, but I also fix computers and very occasionally get arrested for hacking. What about you?"

Atali blinked, sipping from her drink while Cami swallowed half her vodka and Red Bull in one go.

"I recently qualified as a doctor, I'm now working toward specialising."

"Doctor? Don't you work with medicine too? Wow, you guys must have some weirdly technical conversations."

Disappearing off to chat up a cute brunette girl, Cami left the other three stood watching her flirt. It wasn't a dedicated 'gay' bar, but that had never stopped Cami.

"Your cousin is a whirlwind!"

"She is very... unique. And spirited."

"Yep. Cami is an experience all by herself."

Heather was remarkably sober, possibly because Atali was there to distract her from trying to match Cami in a shots contest. Astrid was tipsy but not yet drunk, though Cami seemed intent on changing that as she kept buying Astrid shots of that weird strawberry stuff that looked like milkshake. It was delicious.

"Yeah. And we've not mentioned Hiccup, see? She'll never get it out of me!"

Astrid nodded, glanced toward where she'd seen Cami just a minute ago, confused when her cousin wasn't there. Turning to look for her, she found Cami right next to her, wary she'd overheard Hiccup's name... she didn't look like she had, but still. Dismissing her concerns, Astrid allowed her cousin to drag her to the bar for more alcohol.

Waking the next morning with a rotten hangover, Astrid discovered Cami hadn't slept in the bath this time, face down on the other side of Astrid's bed, still completely dressed other than one missing shoe. Groaning, she slid from the rumpled bed and went in search of water, painkillers and a toothbrush. Despite her impressive consumption of booze, Cami was full of energy as soon as she actually surfaced from the bed, cheering for Heather's post-drinking breakfast and telling Atali her pyjamas were cute, then leaving soon after she was fed and hydrated with a sworn promise they _had_ to go out again sometime.

"So, how did it go?"

Hiccup asked, rubbing soothing circles on Astrid's temples that evening to alleviate her lingering headache. Gods, Cami was a health hazard. She should come with a warning label.

"Uh, I _think_ it went fine."

"You think?"

"Yeah. There was like, one second where she could have heard Heather mention your name, but if she did she didn't show it. I might just be being paranoid."

"I imagine if she _had,_ that would have elicited a visible reaction?"

"True. Maybe I just wound myself up worrying so much that I saw something that definitely didn't happen?"

Moving to stroke her hair, Hiccup opened his mouth to answer, then frowned as his front door knocked.

"Expecting someone?"

"No. Did you order food?"

"Ugh, gods no."

Hiccup got up, edging closer to the door and peering through the peep hole. Astrid watched the shock cross his face, reaching numbly for the latch to open the door. She suddenly sat up straighter, seeing a surprisingly familiar person at the door.

"Cami?"

"Hi. I uh... can I come in?"

Astrid didn't think she'd ever heard Cami unsure before. Hiccup stepped back silently, gesturing for her to come in and closing the door behind her.

"What're you doing here?"

Cami shuffled her feet for a second, then looked between the two siblings.

"I know about you two."

Astrid felt her heart plummet somewhere down to her stomach, and the expression on Hiccups face said he was experiencing something very similar. Both opened their mouths to respond more than once, but closed it without saying a word seconds later. Cami let the silence drag on a little too long before she actually broke it.

"And I want in."

-HTTYD-

 **Sleep deprived babblings for all!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Lack of inspiration but compelled to write so let's see what happens here...**

-HTTYD-

"I want in."

Hiccup could only stare in shock, unsure what one even said to such a thing.

"You... ok, I'm confused."

Astrid eyed her cousin too, and if she understood more then she didn't show it.

"Or what? You tell everyone?"

Cami frowned, thinking, then shook her head.

"Ok, fair, I didn't exactly phrase that well. But no. I uh... I tracked your phone when you wouldn't tell me who your mystery man was. Which also sounds really bad. I wanted to check you weren't in trouble."

"You _tracked_ my phone?"

Hiccup felt like he was at a tennis match, looking back and forth between the two blondes. Once Cami talked Astrid out of killing her for the phone thing, they actually started talking properly. He wasn't sure who was more surprised by Cami's admission of harbouring attraction for them both, him or Astrid. Consumed by his own twisted wants for Astrid, Hiccup had to admit he'd never looked at Cami that way before.

He watched Astrid as they talked, noted that while there was some shock in her face, there was definitely also a considerable amount of curiosity. If he wasn't mistaken... Astrid was _not_ completely against the idea, by any means.

"Hiccup? Are you listening?"

Blinking as he came out of his thoughts, Hiccup looked up to see both Astrid and Cami were looking at him.

"Thinking. You're going to have to give us time Cami. Astrid and I need to talk about this before anything... changes."

"Right. That makes total sense. Take all the time you want."

Cami left sharply, before either of them could really say anything more and it was a little odd... except it was _Cami._ She was just odd. Astrid looked at the closed door for several seconds, then turned to Hiccup and returned to her usual spot in his lap.

"So, what do you think?"

"I think your cousin is crazy."

"Well, that's a given, Cami could tell me she's an alien and I honestly wouldn't dismiss the idea. But I meant more about her proposition."

Hiccup ran a hand through his hair, messing up what was already chaotic in nature.

"I have no idea. Six months ago I didn't ever think I'd be dating _you._ This is... I don't have a word."

Astrid kissed him, nuzzling sweetly at his face and pulling a content smile to his lips as though soothing him, reassuring him.

"We don't have to decide anything now. And you can say no, Cami isn't the type to out us if this is too much for you."

Hiccup picked up on her choice of words, looked up at her.

"You want to say yes."

"I... I'm not against it, no. Cami is fun, and she's not exactly hard on the eye. I won't deny I checked her out now and then over the years, what with _someone_ sort of lowering my bar for questionable attractions. But I do not want you saying yes to Cami for my sake."

He nodded, sliding his arm around Astrid's waist to hold her against him.

"I don't know anything about dating more than one person."

"It can't be much more complicated than dating your sister."

That actually slipped his mind now and then, the natural ease with which he and Astrid navigated their relationship when it was just them meant he didn't think of the complicated world outside their bubble.

"I guess. I just, I need to think."

"I understand. Don't stress babe."

They resumed their quiet evening together, but Hiccup's mind was still whirring. Was it madness to engage in a relationship with Cami?

Well, it was madness to start seeing Astrid, and that hadn't stopped Hiccup.

He didn't know Cami half as well as he did Astrid - even before the sex - but she had always been good fun, sparky and funny, with a streak of daring and a cutting wit. And like Astrid, she was slight but fairly athletic, blonde haired and blue eyed. Really, if one used Astrid as a standard, then Cami was basically just his type. And judging by the comment she'd made earlier about "really wanting to jump them both", then her addition would only add fire to the inferno that blazed whenever Hiccup and Astrid were physical.

And ridiculously hot sex had been all it was supposed to be when Astrid and Hiccup got together at first.

"What is this meant to be to her? To us?"

"What do you mean?"

Astrid looked up at him from where she was resting on his stomach, having been letting him think quietly to himself as they laid in bed.

"Is she just looking to join us for sex whenever the mood strikes? Will she be around to hang out more often? Is Cami looking for something more... permanent? You know her better than I do."

Humming, Astrid rubbed his side absently.

"Cami has never been in a serious relationship, she's never wanted to be. I think it's more likely to be a friend with benefits thing to her. Or in our case, family with benefits. But I don't doubt she wants to see more of us as friends, she's been complaining we don't hang out enough for months."

"And if she wants something more from us? Is becoming an actual three person relationship even possible?"

"Definitely. Or have you forgotten polyamory exists?"

Hiccup rubbed his face, feeling stubble rasp over his hand and remembering he needed to shave tomorrow.

"No, I know that, but I can't say it ever crossed my mind that _I_ would be in a relationship like that."

"That's fair. But... are you completely against it _now?"_

"I'll think about it. Right now, I need sleep."

Astrid nodded agreeably, slinking up the bed to cuddle into his chest with a cute mew of contentedness. Hiccup wrapped his arm around her, musing on what it would be like to have a third person in his bed. It wasn't something he'd ever experienced, nor something he had ever _expected_ to experience.

But it didn't really sound like the worst thing in the world, if he was honest. He knew Astrid liked girls too, and Cami seemed equally interested in them both. So it was down to him to decide if he was up for the threesome or not.

"I fail to even see the question here."

After Astrid left the next morning, promising there was still no pressure, Hiccup headed off to work and confided carefully in Eret that the opportunity had... arisen, for a menage-a-trois.

"Well, isn't it meant to be that when there's three in the bed, someone always gets left out?"

Eret yanked a twisted bit of metal from the hunk of twisted metal in front of him - Alvin wasn't in that day, off arguing with someone about the price of parts or something, so they could talk more freely. Well, Hiccup couldn't speak completely freely; he wasn't able to talk about Astrid explicitly.

"I think that generally lends itself to insecurity, and probably a lack of appreciation for the watching aspect. However, as someone who has dabbled in such matters" Eret winked at him, laughing to himself "there is a whole lotta ways to play as a three. You just need an open mind."

"What do you mean, insecurity?"

Hiccup didn't think of himself as terribly insecure, but if Eret could advise on the matter, it made sense to Hiccup to ask, to go in to this thing with open eyes if he decided to.

"You know. Are you gonna be watching and getting jealous someone else is making them feel good? If you've got that whole possessive 'she's mine' thing going on, then you might be getting mad seeing someone else touching her... I'm assuming this is a you and two girls thing anyway?"

Hiccup nodded.

"So what you're saying is... if I'm not jealous, then it should be ok?"

"Yeah. If you're doing it to have fun, rather than hoping it'll fix something or that you _have_ to do it to make someone else happy... I think you're good. And when you've done it, tell me all about it."

Rolling his eyes as he finally pried a rusted cap out of its otherwise eternal prison, Hiccup straightened up.

"In your dreams."

Eret pretended to sulk, but he was too much of an excitable creature to really maintain the illusion of anything more than petulance as he pouted.

"What are you worrying about anyway mister adventure?"

"Hey, even a sex god like me has the odd dry spell, I'm living vicariously through you and your secret girlfriend and secret threesome."

"You sound awful sure."

Chuckling, Eret gave him the usual eyebrow waggling.

"Well you aren't the jealous type and you've just spent the last fifteen minutes discussing how to go about it. I give it a week tops before you say yes to the ladies in question."

Any further conversation was quickly halted by the garage door slamming open, Alvin stomping in in a very bad mood about something. They silently worked until their shifts were up, and as Eret was hopping on to his motorcycle he gave Hiccup that expectant smirk again.

"I can't wait to hear all about it!"

"Go away!"

He heard Eret laughing as he headed for his car, envious of the motorcycle his friend rode. Hiccup always intended to get one, but his job only really covered rent and essentials for now. Heading home, Hiccup threw leftovers in the microwave and slumped on the sofa, waiting for the aches of the day to ease while he pondered on what he and Eret had talked about.

Was he worried Astrid was going to prefer someone else? The whole time she was talking about Cami joining them, it was never a singular thing. It was always about both of them plus Cami. And truth be told, he was pretty secure with Astrid anyway; having sex and falling in love with her brother wasn't something one did lightly. Astrid wasn't going anywhere.

Putting down his food, Hiccup picked up his phone and typed out a short text to Astrid.

 _"I'm in."_

* * *

Cami wasn't quite sure what to expect as she approached Hiccup's door, half-certain they were about to politely let her down to her face. Knocking, the door opened pretty quickly to show Astrid smiling, Hiccup behind her on the sofa, looking fairly at ease.

"You gonna hover there all night?"

Normally flying head-first into everything - as proven by Cami approaching the two of them in the first place - she felt uncommonly wrong footed as they let her in quietly, nothing in their body language really indicating one way or the other.

"Come on guys, put me out of my misery."

"I told you she wouldn't wait Hiccup."

" _You_ were all 'element of surprise'."

Hiccup stood up, moving to slip his arm around Astrid's waist. Cami reckoned she was the only person who knew they were related that the two were comfortable even touching in front of; she could understand why they needed to think it through on many levels other than the simple question of adding a third to their relationship.

"Feel like clueing me in?"

Astrid turned to look at Hiccup, who nodded. Astrid turned back around, playful smile on her lips.

"We're game."

"Although I do have one query."

Cami looked up, still surprised how _tall_ Hiccup had gotten.

"Which is?"

"Condoms. Astrid and I don't use them."

She found herself grinning, glad she'd anticipated such a thing and pulled the print out she got from the clinic. It was a straight run of clear tests, negative on every possible communicable disease.

"I got tested last month. And been on birth control since I was fourteen."

Astrid looked Cami over, quirking her eyebrow.

"Last month? How convenient."

"Yeah, since I got tested when I decided I was going to approach you guys. So, shall we?"

Hiccup blinked.

"Just like that?"

"Unless you have a reason to wait?"

Looking between the two blondes, Hiccup shook his head.

"Nope. Just surprised. Bedrooms that way."

Astrid led Cami by the hand, Hiccup in tow like it wasn't actually his bedroom. Though Cami doubted Astrid had much trouble taking over the place, given the way Hiccup looked at her with those gooey, loving eyes. With a couple of inches height on her, Astrid leant slightly to compensate and Cami finally got to kiss her cousin, like she'd wanted to for years now. She could taste chocolate on soft lips, felt Astrid's hands settle on her waist as they learned a new lovers map. Teeth nipped at her lower lip, soothed by a hot tongue that slipped in to taste her mouth.

"You gonna hover there all night babe?"

Turning to her brother, Astrid tossed him a smirk and beckoned him closer. Taller than them both, Hiccup almost towered when he approached, clearly waiting for the signal Cami was ok with him touching her. He always was a gentlemanly type. Cami hauled him down to kiss him, finding the same sweet taste Astrid had and wondering what they'd eaten earlier for a second, then found herself distracted as Hiccup finally kissed her properly. Their dual assault left her dizzy already, thrumming with anticipation for what more could possibly come after.

Astrid pulled off her jacket as Hiccup caught her mouth again, two sets of hands working to undress her in short order while Hiccup only let her breathe for the seconds it took to lift off her t-shirt. Astrid's hands brushed her stomach, working open the button on her combats until they fell to her ankles. Hiccup finally let her go, leaving her breathless, heart pounding heated blood through her veins. Attempting to regain her voice, Cami looked between them.

"This is feeling a little one sided here. Your turn. I wanna watch."

They had no complaints about that idea, letting Cami see the practiced way they came together, Astrid's hands running through Hiccup's hair before they slid down his back to hike up his light jumper. Skinny as a teen, Hiccup was still thin but his filled-out frame was wrapped in lean, wiry muscles that rolled beneath his skin as he lifted Astrid's dress and tossed it aside to reveal her cousins body. Slim, strong, stomach flexing when Hiccup ran his fingers down her front, leant down to kiss her neck before he began undoing her hair braid.

Gods, they were _beautiful_ together. Cami would probably be content to simply observe, but since they were inviting her to the party, she certainly wasn't about to say no. Kicking off her shoes and bottoms, Cami joined the two on Hiccup's bed, pulled closer by Astrid to resume blistering kisses, smooth skin meeting her own now the two women were down to underwear. She heard Hiccup removing his jeans, view mostly blocked by Astrid between them as she turned over to run her hands over Hiccup's lean chest before climbing atop him, nudging Hiccup toward the middle.

"Don't turn shy on us now, he's fun to touch" Astrid settled on her knees, looking down toward them "I want to watch now."

Cami was briefly amused by the notion that most people would expect a guy in bed with two girls to want to observe, but instead they were taking turns watching the other with him. Hiccup was tactile, stroking her skin and smirking against her mouth when Cami responded with a moan, a gasp, a shiver. His erection touched the inside of her thigh, feeling hot and thick through his boxers and drawing her attention away from where his fingers made quick work of her bra clasp, peeling it off her.

Shifting against him, Cami felt his cock press between her thighs and rub against her clit, felt him grind into her when Hiccup bucked his hips and smirked when Cami moaned. She was already ridiculously turned on from just watching the brother and sister kissing and undressing each other, underwear wet enough to soak into his boxers as they rutted.

"Would you mind if I fucked him first?"

"Be my guest. So long as Hiccup doesn't mind, of course."

They looked down at Hiccup, who merely winked and bucked against Cami again. Guess that was her answer. Cami moved only to wriggle out of impeding underwear, saw Hiccup pushing down his boxers and eyed him up properly for the first time.

" _Damn._ No wonder Astrid keeps coming back for more."

Astrid winked.

"I don't call him _big_ brother for nothing."

Cami grinned, climbing up over Hiccup's narrow hips and watching as he held himself in place, watching Cami seat herself steadily. _Thor_ he was thick, stretching her to fit him as she sank down inch by inch. The muscles of his upper arms and chest strained slightly, Hiccup clearly fighting to stay still as Cami adjusted to his cock filling her.

"You ok?"

"Me? I am great!"

The stretch faded to a slight ache as Cami moved herself slowly, settling into place when she found the right angle to take him. Bracing her hands on his chest, Cami rocked her hips, feeling his thick cock stroke inside her as she rode him steadily. Surprised by hands on her skin, Cami felt Astrid's bare chest burn against her back as fingers slid over her waist to raise goosebumps on sensitive skin, running up and down before lips were on her neck and hands were on her breasts. Astrid thumbed at her nipples, biting lightly at her throat and shoulder while Hiccup gripped her hips and thrust up into her, hitting deeper and dragging needy whines from the back of her throat with their double team efforts.

Hiccup's hands tightened on her, jaw tightening as he groaned and shook, Astrid murmuring in her ear that he was close and that Cami should try to watch how hot he looked as he came. Cami tried to watch, she did, but Astrid's fingers were slipping down to pinch her clit, stoking that heat that curled low in her gut. Hiccup's nails dug in as Astrid bit her again, the pain melting into the pleasure as the promise of rougher play sent Cami spiralling, falling over the edge between them with shudders wracking her body.

Somewhere in her haze, Cami felt Hiccup spill hot and thick inside her, somewhat registered the sounds he made and the tiny functional part left in her mind making note to dedicate some time to making Hiccup come again so she could appreciate it more. Astrid helped her down, kissing her and stealing what little oxygen was left in her lungs as Cami panted, coming down from the high. Hiccup whined, squirming next to Cami and when she looked down, she saw Astrid licking his softening cock with a devilish smirk.

"I was curious."

"T-too sensitive!"

Releasing his cock, Astrid slunk up her brothers body and kissed him soundly, mouth visibly wet with the mix of fluids she'd just gotten. Hiccup didn't seem to mind a bit, responding hungrily to her kiss before laying back down.

"So, what now?"

Astrid looked at him astounded, then began laughing.

"When have you ever known me to settle for one round? And now there's two of us."

Cami looked up, sharing a grin with Astrid. Hiccup glanced between them, swallowing thickly.

"I'm in trouble aren't I?"

-HTTYD-

 **Somehow, I don't think Hiccup minds the 'trouble' terribly.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I feel like all I do is miss deadlines for weekly updates and apologise. But here it is again; sorry!**

 **Chapter contains much smut and sex toys, if you've made it this far and still like a warning.**

-HTTYD-

Cami suspected that when Hiccup agreed to the plan of "head to Cami's and not leave for the entire weekend" - she only had one neighbour, who was stone deaf and avoided Cami at all costs ever since she caught her doing knife throwing at targets in the garden - he hadn't expected _this._

Squirming, panting, he was beautifully trapped with hands tied to her bed frame and the vibrating sleeve wrapped around his swollen cock. If physical stimulation wasn't enough, he could do nothing but watch as Cami and Astrid played mere inches away from him. He wasn't the only one enjoying Cami's extensive collection of sex toys; Astrid had a vibrating egg held against her clit while Cami tongued her cute little ass, getting her dear cousin ready for a proper fuck. The way Astrid's arms trembled was a potent sight for Cami, watching how she broke Astrid down to desperate, needy.

"Fuck me!"

Smirking, Cami swiped her tongue over twitching muscle, using her free hand to land a swift slap against a smooth, pale cheek and watching as the shape of her hand bloomed red. Astrid all but convulsed, twisting to look at Cami behind her with a feral lust written across her face. Cami still remembered that initial thrill when Astrid admitted to enjoying anal sex; it was Cami's favourite, whether giving or receiving. She had every intention of finding out if Hiccup was receptive to the idea too.

"You sure you're ready cuz?"

"More than!"

Not content to end the teasing yet, Cami squeezed viscous liquid onto her fingers, probed Astrid with one, then two, raising the setting of the little vibrating egg and enjoying the tremors that wracked Astrid's frame, holding her dangerously close to the edge before pulling back to leave Astrid twisting with frustration. It was so fun to make Astrid swear, to reduce her to begging when Astrid would adamantly insist she never begged for _anything._

Rolling a condom over her toy - it made for easier clean up - Cami coated it in more thick lubricant, nudging at Astrid and watching her lean forward, sticking her ass up in the air in blatant invitation. Watching her attached cock disappear inch by inch into Astrid was enough to make Cami shiver with pleasure, the toned muscles of Astrid's back stretching and rolling beneath skin dotted with little scars, the story of Astrid's adventurous spirit patterned over her arching spine. Hiccup's increasingly pained whimpers - Cami had left the vibrating sleeve on a low enough setting to drive him crazy, but it would take a while to make him come - made a beautiful accompaniment to Astrid's throaty whines as she pushed back, taking Cami deeper.

Hiccup could barely pick where to look, watching the point at which Cami penetrated his sister, watching their faces, staring at the object torturing his cock like he was ready to burst. She smirked as he pleaded for freedom, but he wasn't using his safeword - Cami wouldn't have tied him up without giving him one - and so he stayed put, though she glanced at his hands to check they were still a healthy colour.

Curving hands around Astrid's hips, Cami moved her own, thrilling in the sight and slide of back and forth, hearing Astrid moan as she rocked in time with thrusts she took perfectly. No wonder Hiccup couldn't get enough of her. Especially hot, wanton Astrid, left unsatisfied by the foreplay and eager to come. Astrid's orgasms were the gift that kept giving, a range of responses Cami was still learning, from the way she'd gasp silently through violent quaking to how she'd shake and moan and clutch at the nearest person with vice-like fingers.

Denied-orgasm Astrid was a primal beast, fucking herself back on Cami like her life depended on it and growling when Cami squeezed at her pert ass. It was made to be touched and fucked, a fact proven by how spectacularly Astrid responded to her. As she pressed in and out of yielding blonde, Cami heard Hiccup's moans and whines reach a new pitch, both she and Astrid turning in time to see Hiccup cross the point of no return, hips bucking wildly as he spilled messily over his torso. Stripes hit his chest, pooling on his stomach as he cried out and twisted against his bonds.

"T-turn it o-off!"

He whimpered, high and pained as the toy continued to buzz against skin growing hypersensitive, pushing toward agonizing pain over agonizing pleasure. Astrid fumbled to reach for the toy since she was down on his level, unable to muster the dexterity to find the switch and just pulling it off of him, leaving it buzzing on the bed as she slammed back against Cami's hips. Taking the hint, Cami resumed her thrusts, kindly responding to Astrid's pleas for _more, faster, harder._ Dragging her nails down Astrid's marble back left angry red lines in her wake, the burning sensation something she knew Astrid **loved,** stopping just short of broken skin that would take longer to heal.

 _"Fuck_ Cami" her name sounded gorgeous on her cousins tongue "so good."

Watching Astrid come apart, winding pleasure taking her to pieces at last as she went rigid before falling limp was almost enough to bring Cami off all by itself; she'd neglected to add a butterfly to her equipment, the little vibrator that would had stimulated her constantly. Still, Cami had plenty of ideas on how she'd get her own bliss soon. Pulling out of Astrid gently, Cami massaged her lower back to ease any residual tension, let the other blonde slump to the bed. She reached out blindly, flicking at the still-going vibrating sleeve until it stopped.

"Uh, a little help?"

Hiccup wriggled against his tied hands again, pouting when Cami looked ambivalent about releasing him. He hadn't complained properly once though, so she took pity and freed him after removing her strap-on. He rubbed at his wrists and fingers, shaking out tension and reaching for Cami's trusty wet wipe pack to clean himself up a little.

"Hey" Cami had plans, but as she watched Astrid and Hiccup kiss before they pulled her into the lazy cuddle, she became curious "tell me about your first time."

They shared a look, a fond smirk. Cami immediately wished she'd asked before, as it looked like a very pleasant memory for them both.

"Well, Heather and Atali were going on their first date. I agreed to go because Atali was nervous, and she said Heather had a friend willing to be set up too."

Astrid wriggled closer to Hiccup's sweaty chest, tracing nonsense shapes on his skin as she smiled up at him.

"We get there I and say I'm getting a drink, cus I'd recognised someone at the bar as soon as I came in."

"I was ordering my drink when this cheeky voice popped up and told the bartender to make it two. Turned to see Astrid standing there. We very quickly realise our friends had set us up."

Hiccup rolled on top of Astrid, which she looked rather happy about as her brother kissed her neck, Astrid's eyes fluttering closed as their story trailed off for a minute. Cami didn't mind waiting a little when the view was so good.

"And I-oh, wait a sec!" Astrid nudged Hiccup's jaw when he began introducing teeth to her throat "I point out if we tell them, it's gonna get real awkward real fast and we'll ruin their date. Convince him we can pretend for a couple of hours so they could get on with their cutesy couple stuff."

"Which I agreed with" Hiccup slid down, kissing Astrid's collarbone "at first. Until this minx" he nipped her, making Astrid gasp "started getting a little too friendly. I pointed out that the more she pushed it, the weirder it was going to look when we told our friends we were siblings."

Astrid's ability to remain relatively coherent when Hiccup was laving his tongue over her chest was impressive, and the two had Cami utterly riveted both with story and performance, fingers winding into messy auburn hair before Astrid continued.

"I'd wanted to jump this dork for years, I wasn't pushing for no reason" her voice trailed into a breathy sigh before picking up again "and he was cracking. All in all, I was having a brilliant time."

Hiccup hummed around her nipple, made Astrid shiver and clutch him tighter, protesting when he lifted his head.

"You were wearing your get-lucky dress. If it wasn't me..."

"I wouldn't have had nearly as much fun if it wasn't you though."

His teeth skated over Astrid's nipple, winning fresh shudders and a sharp moan before working downward, Astrid's legs parting to let him fit there where he kissed at her taut abdomen.

"She pinned me to a wall, asked me if I'd ever thought of her like that before. I lied."

"You never were a brilliant liar. I kissed him."

"Actually, you _bit_ me."

As if to punctuate his point, Hiccup nipped at her hip. Cami wondered if she could come just watching them, hearing the story.

"I wanted to be sure you wouldn't deny it the next day when I did kiss you."

Hiccup chuckled, dropping a kiss on Astrid's clit and Cami watched the tremor it sent through her, a soft, shuddering breath leaving Astrid's mouth. He was an artist at drawing it out to the point it risked personal injury from Astrid, who was _not_ patient in bed. Neither was Cami, but she sometimes let him play the game.

With Hiccup's mouth busy on Astrid, and Astrid's busy letting out a litany of moans and curses, Cami was left waiting for the next part of the story. Still, watching Hiccup go down on his sister was far too erotic a display to disturb, wiry arms wrapped around toned thighs as Astrid's body trapped him there. Not that Hiccup seemed to consider going anywhere, tongue and lips working delicate skin, suckling the swollen nub of her clit to send Astrid spiralling higher. Pleading and writhing, Astrid fisted at his hair and rutted against his face, increasingly impatient for the peak.

Not content to sit idly by, Cami slid along the bed and caught a swollen nipple between her lips after watching it beg to be tended to. One of Astrid's hands left Hiccup's hair, meshing in Cami's to make zero difference to her hairs usual chaotic state. The dual assault worked perfectly to take Astrid to pieces, brought her to a vocal climax beneath both their mouths. Personally, Cami thought she was perfectly patient enough to wait for Astrid to recover her regular breathing to demand the rest of their story.

"What happened after you kissed him?"

Astrid quirked her lips up in thought, a rather sweet motion. She turned to Hiccup, glancing downward to see he was renewed, ready to go again. Her eyes lit up, nudging Hiccup to kneel upright. He complied, allowing Astrid to sit up properly; she didn't miss the chance to stroke his erection a little.

"I think Cami deserves a demonstration. I'm in need of a shower anyway."

Hiccup nodded, the way his eyes darkened telling Cami her burgeoning frustration and arousal would soon be satisfied somehow. Astrid was a little unsteady on her feet - and no wonder - but managed to go ahead and turn the shower on. Cami looked at Hiccup, with his sharp jaw dotted with stubble and his flat chest lined with ropey muscle, the shadow of flexing abdominal muscles.

"What are you waiting for?"

"You have to press me into the wall first."

His mouth quirked at the side too - one of those tells of siblings, both his and Astrid's same sexy smirk - as Cami approached him. She was a few inches shorter than Astrid, closer to a full foot than half a one shorter than Hiccup. He never seemed to mind lowering his head, allowing her to meet his mouth as Cami slammed his hips back against the wall. He grunted into her mouth, cock twitching and leaking where it nudged her abdomen. It was nice to have a man who didn't mind being roughed up, rather than one complaining it made him feel emasculated.

How he made it happen, Cami didn't know, but blind stumbling brought them to the bathroom without her really noticing, hot water splashing their skin before she was pressed to the tiled wall, hissing at the cold sensation on her front. Hands slid up and down her sides, cupped her breasts and stroked her thighs. His erection was burning hot on her back.

"I want to hear the story!"

Was the first thing to leave her mouth, breathless with Hiccup's heady touches. He smirked, nipped at her jaw before murmuring against her ear.

"You're reliving it. Our first time was the back alley behind the bar."

If Cami thought them attractive before, the image of the two groping and rutting in _public_ when they were finally finding the outlet for suppressed desire... it was _indecent,_ exhilarating. He turned her, lifted her, Cami's legs instinctively wrapping around him. Her nails gripped his back as Hiccup thrust against her, not inside her where she ached to be filled. A new touch slipped between them, Astrid guiding Hiccup into place and the next thrust buried him deep. Cami cried out, feeling his girth stretch her, the ache a pleasant sort as Hiccup's hips nestled between her legs.

Never had Cami been so happy she had a walk-in shower, roomy enough to allow the three ample space. Astrid sank onto the bench - left by the previous owner, and Cami used it when she showered after a long run to soak in the steamy air - and seemed happy to watch her brother fuck her cousin.

Gods, they were messed up.

She _**loved** _it.

Hiccup fucked her with a realistic urgency, as though they really were somewhere dangerous to be caught together. Cami did her best to match him, but the pleasure half-paralysed her as her body finally sensed satisfaction was in reach, keen not to disrupt Hiccup as his cock stroked her g-spot, his lean stomach rubbing against her when he slowed to a grind that only tortured her further. When Hiccup lowered his head, capturing her breast in his mouth, Cami could take no more. Skin definitely broke on his back under her nails if his hisses were anything to go by, hips jerking and hitting her deeper, jolting Cami even as she went to pieces there and then.

Finding her strength, Cami pushed Hiccup back, sinking to her knees when it was clear her legs wouldn't hold her. He watched open-mouthed as Cami swallowed his cock down, long past caring that she could taste herself on him - she sucked him after he fucked Astrid, kissed them both after they'd been down on her. It wasn't like there was much mystery left. Her muscles still spasmed weakly as Hiccup nudged the back of her throat, a steady pulse in her groin every time Hiccup grunted in time with her swallowing around him, knowing he loved the filthy sound, the sensation, the lewd image presented by it.

Astrid appeared, leaning to whisper something in Hiccup's ear that Cami missed over the sound of water coming down. Only when she felt Hiccup swell and throb between her lips did Cami discover what her cousin said; Hiccup pulled free of her mouth, climax instead painting her chest in hot spurts that ran down her front. Before Cami could question his motives, Astrid was on her, face a picture of lust as she peered up at Cami, tongue swiping her brothers mess from her cousins breast, taking care to circle and flick over sensitive nipples. A wave of aftershocks left Cami's knees shaking, only kept from melting to the ground by Astrid's hold.

Finally cleaned up, with only a couple more detours, Cami absently contemplated a strange emotion that night as they settled down to sleep. Hiccup curled around Astrid's back, nuzzled her neck and cradled her even as he slumbered. If Cami asked, they offered similar tactile comforts to her, but it wasn't as natural as it was between them.

It wasn't their fault; Cami had only ever asked for the blistering sex and to hang out with them. She wasn't a relationship type. They met every need she'd expressed to them. So it wasn't fair to feel slighted that they didn't embrace her in slumber the way they did each other, the one they were in love with.

And yet, she still did.

-HTTYD-

 **This was meant to be half of a longer chapter, but... no matter how I tried to start the next half, it didn't look right following that part... so I'm hoping splitting them and rejigging next chapter works better for me.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Quick update for a very good egg!**

 **I apologise for any deaths caused by last chapter... I'm totally sorry. Honest.**

-HTTYD-

Hiccup was well and truly fucked when only _Astrid_ was sending him explicit text messages. With both her and Cami working that angle, Hiccup had to turn his phone off sometimes just to catch his breath.

It was even worse when it was them _together._ When the girls hooked up without him - as they were all in agreement, was ok, as Hiccup and Astrid were alone together too. Cami occasionally turned up at his flat when she knew Astrid was working. It was unrealistic to assume they could always hook up as a three, and Cami was an increasingly good friend to each of them...

but when Hiccup was getting sent increasingly explicit pictures while on a lunch break, it was very difficult to not simply quit his job and head over there to join in. Damn them both.

"What are you grinning abo- hot damn! Sorry Hic!"

"Shit! Eret!"

His workmate backed up, enormous sandwich in his hand as the other tried to cover his eyes in an imitation of 'I didn't see anything!'. Hiccup locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket.

"I'm sorry! I was coming over to talk to you, I didn't mean to see boob!"

What the Hel was Hiccup supposed to explain to Eret? That his sister and her cousin were sending him updates while they had sex? That was a sure fire way to get himself arrested.

"It's... fine. Just never bring it up again."

"Where's the fun in that?"

Lunch breaks were the only time Hiccup and Eret were away from Alvin at work, the only time they could speak freely.

"Anyway Hic, I've been dying to find out who this mystery woman is. You're so secretive... and she's got a great set. Plus wasn't she the one who you had the threeway with?"

Rolling his eyes, Hiccup took a drink from his water bottle.

"Want to say it a bit louder? Don't!" he saw Eret gearing up, nipped it in the bud "it's... it's complicated, ok?"

Eret nodded, chewing his sandwich.

"Fair enough. But you know if you want to talk about it, I'm here?"

Fairly sure he was going to regret it, but at least sure he could say it hadn't worked out when she moved on...

"I'm seeing Cami. She's Astrid's cousin."

"Astri- oh. Huh. That's... she's not _your_ cousin though, right?"

"Right. But Astrid's my sister, and our family is a bloody mess at the best of times... it just makes people raise eyebrows, you know?"

Eret nodded again, staring at his sandwich like it would offer him answers.

"Fair enough. Damn though. She sounds like a wild card already."

"Yeah... you could say that."

Hiccup sent the girls a text to say his phone was going on silent until he finished work, for the sake of his sanity. He ate his food quickly, acutely aware of Eret eyeballing him.

"Does anybody else know about Cami?"

"Astrid. That's it."

"Ah. Sorry for invading your privacy. I promise never to mention to your girlfriend I caught sight of a nipple."

"Cami wouldn't care. She'd strip off and ask which one looks more familiar."

Eret snorted, shaking his head while Hiccup felt relieved Eret only seemed to have seen Cami in the top half of the photo. And he wasn't kidding about Cami. It wouldn't even be the first time she'd flashed someone. In public. She was _completely_ ridiculous. It was one of the things he liked about her.

"Oi! Not paying you two to sit around."

"It's our lunch break Alvin."

Their boss huffed, stomped back in muttering about lazy workers. Hiccup ran a hand through his hair, sighing. Alvin was on his case constantly as it was - he wanted to up Hiccup's hours, but not raise his pay in line. He was also constantly on Hiccup about occasionally being late to work; he didn't care that Hiccup was tied up. Literally, in some cases, other times simply held down by Astrid or Cami.

"You need to drop the girlfriend if she's making you late."

"Not a chance. Your shop would flop in a week without me."

Alvin dismissed him, leaving Hiccup to go back to Eret and work on the next car. They were both underpaid, overworked and honestly, overqualified. It was probably intentional, making sure Hiccup couldn't afford to quit unless he had another job lined up, and limiting his time so much it would be near impossible to actually find another job.

"We should hang out soon. Maybe I can meet Cami."

Hiccup nodded, a little guilty feeling making itself known as he lied. Well, they could hang out, but not with Cami. Since she wasn't really his girlfriend. He headed home, finding a tiny blonde whirlwind sat outside the door of his flat with a cheeseburger in one hand and a magazine in the other.

"Hi Cami."

"Hey there. Astrid promised to help Heather with something, but told me to come entertain you."

"Well, come on in. I'll have to get you a key sorted so you can at least not eat on the floor."

Cami smiled as Hiccup unlocked the door, scampering in on all fours before hopping upright. He left her to finish eating while he went to clean up and get changed, heading out in shorts to flop on the sofa. She clambered on top of him, looking intently at his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I hate my job. Actually, I love my job. I hate my boss."

Frowning, Cami scratched her chin.

"Shall I hack his computer and get him arrested?"

"No!"

"Killed?"

"No."

"Slightly maimed?"

"Camicazi, behave."

She giggled, unrepentant as she fiddled idly with his hair.

"Can't you get a new job?"

"I don't have the time. Between Astrid, you and working all the hours Alvin gives me, I don't exactly have a lot of free time. And I can't afford to quit if I don't have something else lined up."

"Hmm. We'll workshop this later. Are you eating before or after I mount you properly?"

Hiccup pondered, standing with Cami still firmly wrapped around him like a limpet. Literally, since she was biting at his neck as he carried her through to his bedroom. His decision not to put much on was appreciated by Cami as she ran hands down his chest, dragged her tongue down his stomach with a smirk when Hiccup squirmed at the odd sensation. His shorts waistband barely cleared his erection before Cami had her mouth on him, tonguing his cock in long, wet stripes before sucking ardently at his tip.

Foreplay was almost as full on as anything else with Cami.

Her small hand didn't quite fully encircle his shaft, but Cami didn't struggle to take all of him in her mouth. Hiccup wasn't sure she'd ever heard of a gag reflex, the way she took him down so eagerly, encasing Hiccup in soft heat and circling that nimble tongue around him and how did she _breathe?_ Her head bobbed up, focusing only on the tip before she let him free, wiping at wet lips before she crawled up his body to kiss him roughly. His cock throbbed in protest of the loss, reprimanded by Hiccup as he managed to roll Cami beneath him, trying to undress impatient blonde.

"Clothes are such an inconvenience. Don't be surprised if I turn up some time in just a trench coat and shoes."

Hiccup doubted it even crossed Cami's mind to be kidding. He worked off her jeans while she unbuttoned her shirt, underwear coming down with the tight black denim to leave Cami in only her bra.

"Just forewarn me in case my mother is visiting. You probably won't mind, but she might."

Cami rolled her eyes.

"Spoilsport. I promise not to flash without ascertaining your mother isn't here. Anybody else is fair game."

Tightening thighs on his torso, Cami flipped them like it was nothing and straddled him quickly, reaching up to remove her bra so she was completely bare at last. Her tiny frame belied the strength within, masterful angelic smile not quite enough to convince Hiccup she wasn't an absolute deviant. Shuffling backwards until she was knelt over his thighs, Hiccup whined as she gripped his cock, thumb circling the ridge of his glans to wind him just a little higher. Still, Cami wasn't one for patience, so Hiccup wasn't left waiting long for her to shift and guide him into place.

"Gods you feel thicker like this. How does a skinny guy like you end up wielding this sort of weapon?"

Hiccup couldn't answer; he could barely breathe with Cami squeezing his cock in a tight silken grip, muscles rippling to accommodate him. Only when she settled, shaking and biting her lip as she pushed messy blonde hair off her face did he find his voice.

"Clearly it all went somewhere."

It was as witty as he could be with Cami on top of him right now, and he'd probably find the time to be embarrassed about it later, but right now he was just glad he hadn't come on the spot after her skillful oral attentions got him plenty aroused already. She'd barely began moving when a shrill noise came screaming from her jeans pocket, which Cami turned to look for.

"Can you reach them?"

Stretching, Hiccup reached for the jeans, gripping one of the legs and hauling them to the bed. There and then, Cami fished out her phone and looked at the screen, said she had to take it and answered it while still on top of him. She didn't even slow down her movements.

"Hey Fishface!"

Hiccup just tried to stay quiet as Cami continued riding him, trying to protest that they should _wait_ but she simply slammed down harder on him in response and Hiccup almost yelped in surprise. So instead he bit his lip and hoped she'd be done soon.

"What's the-oh, the problem?"

Gods, Hiccup couldn't believe she was actually holding a conversation. Her slick heat slid up and down his cock, a purposeful grind when Cami leant forward and braced her free hand on Hiccup's shoulder for a better angle meaning he got no reprieve from the steady pleasure.

"Well find the" Cami stopped to let out a breathless, throaty pant before continuing "problem then. Dismantle it if you h-have to! I'll be in tomorrow to put it back together."

Hiccup lost the threat of their conversation after that, focusing more on staying quiet as Cami rode him with every intention of making him crack and moan aloud, smirking when she saw Hiccup clamp his lips shut to stay silent. Plus, he didn't understand the finite parts of a computer, just as Cami wouldn't pay much attention if he brought up oil gaskets.

"What are you sorry for Fish?" mumbling on the other side "oh, I'm not working out. I'm in bed, there's a very nice man under me."

Hiccup _heard_ him yelp before the call cut out, Cami tossing her phone aside with an impish laugh before focusing her attentions back on Hiccup.

"I'd ask if you were going to be embarrassed at work tomorrow, but I know the answer to that already."

Cami winked, leaning back and slapping the side of his thigh to indicate Hiccup should bend his legs, giving her something to lean further back on. He complied, letting itchy fingers skate over flushed skin now there was no co-worker to hear Cami moan in response.

"Of course I won't be. I am incapable of that feeling."

Chuckling, Hiccup shook his head, watching Cami roll her hips to shift the angle his cock stroked inside her until he hit the spot to make her thighs shake. He slipped fingers down to her swollen little clit, rubbing at it the way he knew would bring Cami off quickly as he felt the urgency of his own climax begin to press at the edges of his mind. Cami reached for him, encouraging Hiccup to sit so she could kiss him, push his head down as she arched encouragingly until lips closed over her nipple.

"Fuck!"

Hiccup would be lying if he said he didn't really like that Cami and Astrid shared their filthy mouth, especially the way they cursed as they came. Barely holding on as it was, Hiccup spilled as she clenched around him, feeling her muscles grip tighter at his swelling cock. Cami slumped against his legs as Hiccup let himself fall back to the pillow, pushing sweaty fringe off his face with a sharp exhalation that would have been a laugh if he had the breath.

"Well, I'm less stressed than when I got home! But now I'm starving."

Cami smirked, stretching before she rolled out of his lap.

"I'm gonna go clean up so you won't miss out on dessert" Hiccup saw her wink "but go ahead, I'll be through in a minute."

"You want anything?"

Cami pondered.

"You have anything sweet?"

"Cookies in the fridge?"

"Perfect."

Hiccup spent only a few minutes in his kitchen putting together a sandwich and a protein shake - hopefully Astrid wouldn't mind him sneaking one - but when he came out, Cami was on his laptop, wearing only her underwear on his sofa. He didn't bother asking how she got his password; Astrid knew it and Cami was a hacker by hobby.

"Hey, how do you feel about restoring old cars in between engine repairs?"

"Excuse me?"

"I found a job for you. You're qualified enough, but this guy likes things done a certain way so the job has been open a while."

"How even... let me see?"

Cami held up the laptop, stretching and taking a cookie from the plate Hiccup had brought through.

"I just refined searches to skip through the junk of the internet."

Bemused as he scanned the listing, Hiccup grew more interested with every passing moment.

"Wow, this job is literally three times my current pay. And he wants two, so I could tell Eret. Thanks Cami."

She smiled as Hiccup put the laptop down, jotting down the number on the application to call in the morning - it was a bit late now. And he didn't trust Cami not to pull more phone antics.

"See? I'm good for more than sex and fighting."

He glanced at Cami, but nothing about her demeanor suggested she was actually feeling anything negative. Still, the comment bothered him a little. Should he ask if she was feeling used or reduced by their arrangement? Or was he being silly... surely Cami would let them know if she wasn't totally happy?

-HTTYD-

 **Or would sheeeeeeee?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Other quick update for good egg!**

-HTTYD-

Rolling onto his front as he slept, Hiccup looked rather sweet even with the livid marks that ran down his back. Astrid had gotten up for the bathroom, which woke Cami as Hiccup rolled into the warm spot left behind. The blanket had slid down to the small of his back, exposing the tell-tale signs of a rough, fun time had by all. The moonlight that crept in through a gap in her curtains highlighted his freckled skin, casting a similar glow upon Astrid when she returned as naked as she'd left the bed, and even in her sleepy state she had a soft smile for the sight of Hiccup slumbering on sweetly. She nudged him enough to stir, and Hiccup seemed to be used to being woken for cuddles, enveloping Astrid in his arms without really opening his eyes. It was easy, natural to them.

Cami wanted that.

But she wasn't sure if it was that she wanted it with _them,_ or if she simply enjoyed the sex and longed for someone to feel so close to. Or more than one someone... she clearly wasn't against the whole sharing thing. If anything, she enjoyed the wonderful variety between watching and joining and teaming up and being teamed up on. Yep, Cami definitely envisioned a multi-partner future. She owed the siblings in her bed for teaching her that, at the very least.

Settling down to sleep again herself was easier now they had settled. Cami woke confused as there was an arm over her, cracking an eye open and spotting Hiccup vanished, leaving her with Astrid who obviously decided Cami was cuddle-able. Warm lips skated over a bruise on her shoulder, left by Hiccup's teeth when he fucked her over her (metal) computer desk the previous night, which had been _spectacular._ Cami still felt a lovely little ache from it, after finally convincing Hiccup that she really did want it harder; he took a little nudging to unleash, but it was so worth it when he did.

"You awake?"

"Yeah."

Astrid smiled against her back, fingers already roaming sleep-warm skin. Cami was not particularly inclined to get up when Astrid was pressing against her back, breasts warm and soft behind her while fingers on her front teased a nipple to hardness, thumbing at the firm bud until Cami arched and moaned softly. Morning sex was a great way to wake up, but it took her a minute to actually _wake up._ Still, she was happy to let Astrid wake her this way.

"Honestly, I leave you for ten minutes..."

"Exactly. Do you know how much mischief can be gotten up to in ten minutes?"

Expecting Hiccup to slide in behind Astrid as he usually would, Cami was instead surprised to see him standing at her side of the bed, gesturing to Astrid to budge up so Cami could too. He slipped in next to her, head dipping to mouth at her neck before Astrid helped him press Cami down onto her back.

"W-where did you g-oooo?"

Oh, that felt very nice. Cami was always more sensitive in the mornings, skin eager to flush beneath a lovers touch, goosebumps raising wherever the covers came off to expose her. Astrid matched Hiccup's efforts, kissed her collarbone before threatening teeth. It wasn't pain, just the temptation of and that was enough to thrill Cami as she shivered between them. Everything was a lovely haze of warm, soft touches, rougher mechanics fingers slipping down her belly to find Cami already hot and swollen, almost _too_ sensitive. Hiccup gentled his strokes as Astrid kissed her chest, the two not quite overwhelming her but clearly having fun holding her close to that point.

Cami came with a near-silent gasp, shuddering between their bodies before lying limp on the bed.

"Well, that was one way to wake me up."

"Glad to be of service. I'm gonna go start breakfast, assuming you two will surface soon?"

"Ten minutes?"

"I'll have coffee waiting."

Astrid thanked him while Cami basked in her lazy afterglow, Hiccup padding away again leaving the girls in bed.

"You ok Cami?"

"Mhmm. Awesome!"

Her cousin left the bed for the bathroom, returning to poke Cami when she hadn't moved yet. Groaning, Cami reluctantly left the cosy sheets, cleaning herself up and brushing her teeth before she let the smell of coffee summon her to the kitchen. Hiccup was at the cooker, pyjama bottoms almost dangerously loose on his lean hips. The scratches on his back were even more obvious in the muted sunlight as he fussed with the two pans frying on the hob, something Astrid seemed to enjoy looking at.

He ran a hand through his hair, stretching the side of his torso and Cami followed the motion, increasingly attracted to those little mannerisms. The way he hummed when he cooked. The funny little noise he made when his hands were full and his hair was in his face. The fact it never seemed to occur to Hiccup to get a haircut, not that Cami wanted to see the thick mop of auburn going anywhere. She hugely enjoyed his little shoulder shrugging thing, the way he talked with his hands. And the way he and Astrid bantered with her, all sass and quick wit and playful smirks.

Astrid's bluntness was a bonus too. She didn't care to hide things if it were not essential - like her relationship with Hiccup.

But everything else? Astrid had no shame. She never hid her desire with them, and Cami was now well-versed in the variety of expressions Astrid used to indicate she wanted sex. Or food. She would sit on Hiccup's knee, pout her lower lip out just a little and flutter her eyes... Hiccup probably would have cut out his own kidney and shallow fried it if she asked after that. It was quite easy to see when Astrid was engaged with a conversation topic, the way her eyes lit up and her cheeks turned pinker, smile wider as she grew more animated and enthused openly.

"So where did you go earlier when you abandoned us in bed?"

"To answer my phone. That job Cami found for me called, he wants to see us for the interview but knows I'm currently working around a very inflexible boss so he called first thing to find out when we can both do. Eret works pretty much the exact same shifts as me, so I said any evening or weekend would do."

Cami had all but forgotten about that - she'd found that listing for him a week ago now.

"So when is your interview?"

"Tuesday evening. So you girls might have to entertain yourselves."

Astrid threw Cami a wink, a smirk.

"Somehow I imagine we'll survive."

Hiccup laughed as he plated up bacon and eggs, done just how Cami liked it. Astrid seemed equally happy with hers as buttered bread landed next, followed by Hiccup himself with his own plate full of food. These moments were a little dangerous, all too domestic and easy to see the way Hiccup and Astrid shared soft smiles, looking at each other with warm loving eyes.

Those were the moments where Cami started to want _more._

"So... what shall we do with our day?"

She wasn't entirely sure how it happened. but after Astrid suggested gaming, they spent shockingly little time with controllers in hand as the competition became a playful wrestling match between Astrid and Cami. Somehow.. that ended in Hiccup being the rather happy and surprised recipient of a double-blowjob. It was a little clumsy and uncoordinated at first, but the girls quickly learned how not to knock heads, tongues and mouths meeting around Hiccup's swollen cock. He stared, open-mouthed for quite a while before the constant sensations had him closing his eyes, fighting to keep them open just to watch as Astrid side-sucked his shaft while Cami tongued his frenulum, the two of them kissing messily around the sensitive head.

Hiccup's fingers wound through Cami's hair, stroking her scalp in that way that made her tingle, pulsing against her tongue as he let out sweet, sinful little moans and whines. Astrid dipped lower, mouthing at one of his balls and Hiccup's voice climbed an octave, head falling back as his hips bucked. Enticing an idea as it was to watch the show, Cami sealed her lips over his cock and felt him throb against her tongue, spilling hot and thick into her mouth. She swallowed instinctively, but Astrid still kissed her, tongue entering her mouth to taste Hiccup there as fingers tangled in Cami's hair, kiss turning increasingly more demanding until she was pinned to the floor.

Really, their weekends together were cycles of sex with snack breaks and naps in between. It was to be expected, with how irresistible they both were, with how responsive and willing they were to continue to indulge Cami's lusts. Her attractions to them both were not abating. They really ought to. Cami didn't want things to get awkward.

But she also didn't want things to _stop._

* * *

The job advert had been a little strange, some words misspelled and Hiccup wasn't sure what to expect when he and Eret met up to go for their interview. It certainly wasn't a beefy man with a prosthetic leg, a sort of cap fitted over his amputated half a forearm that had a hammer attached to the cradle there. He was completely bald, but had a moustache so long he'd braided it. All in all, the whole thing looked set up to be completely surreal.

It did come with one downside - it would be an hour long commute every day. On the other hand, if they got the job, it would definitely mean Hiccup could afford to move closer. He and Astrid had discussed that in passing, but agreed not to worry about it until there was something to worry about - if he got the job.

"I don't do the usual interview stuff. Come with me lads."

Sharing sidelong glances with Eret, Hiccup got up and followed the man - introduced as Gobber - through to a room containing three aged, beat up cars and two dismantled engines.

"I want ye to rebuild them there engines, then tell me which car it goes to."

Yep. Definitely weird. Hiccup was glad he'd brought his overalls, changing quickly and heading out with Eret to the tasks they'd been assigned. With no instructions, no certain idea of even what model car they were building the engine for, it was the ultimate blind test. All the while they worked, Gobber walked between them, occasionally twisting the hammer in its socket in a way Hiccup wasn't certain wasn't a little bit menacing.

It took starting with a few universal pieces, freeing Hiccup's mind to seek the bits that made each engine model unique as it slotted into place, the parts slowly becoming the whole. After a whole hour, he wiped sweat off and knew there'd likely be grease stains there, but he didn't much care so long as he'd impressed Gobber. Standing up and hearing his knees almost squeal in protest, Hiccup began examining the empty engine bays. One was patently too small for his constructed engine, so he discarded it as an option, leaving it down to two.

Searching, he found a connection spot in the second car, which would not match up with what he'd finished. Not wanting to look like he was cheating and helping Eret, Hiccup pointed to the third car. Eret was done with his engine ten minutes later, and he too picked the correct car. Seeming satisfied with their skills, Gobber then quizzed them on performance, on why they wanted to leave their current job.

"We're undervalued. And I don't just mean financially. The boss doesn't respect our skills, the sheer amount of work we do. I'd like to be recognised for my qualifications and abilities."

"There's nothin' wrong wi' that. Yer both damn good mechanics, I don' think ye know enough about old cars, but if yer willing to learn... I'm willing to give you boys a shot. When can ye start?"

Calculating how much notice they legally had to give Alvin, they agreed to start the following week, both men leaving the building in a mild state of shock.

"Did that just happen?"

"I think so? I better go call Kristoff."

"Kristoff?"

Eret turned to Hiccup, frowning slightly.

"Have I never... Kristoff is my brother. Well, half brother. Like you and Astrid" ohhh, Hiccup doubted that very much "mom had me, left my dad, married Igor. They had Kristoff. Family problems, yanno? They bum me out, so I don't talk about them."

As Eret headed off, already pulling his phone out, it occurred to Hiccup that despite their friendship and camaraderie at work and Eret's insistence on pressing for details about Hiccup's sex life... he didn't actually _know_ the other man. But then, he couldn't judge _anybody_ for keeping secrets. Not when he shared his bed with his sister, when he watched her strip and bite and fuck her cousin.

Gods, his life was weird.

Reclining in the drivers seat of his car as the sky shifted from pale blue to inky blue-black, popping with stars as much as city light pollution would allow, Hiccup pulled out his phone and hit 'call' on Astrid's number since it was first alphabetically in his contact list.

"Hey babe! Cami, calm down, it's Hiccup!"

"Hi Hiccup! Is it important, I'm very busy with Astrid's-"

"I got the job!"

Hiccup cut them off before he could get any further distracted, already feeling his blood begin to pump south and resigning himself to a lonely wank when he got home. At least he had the jackpot of banked material, not to mention an obscene amount of obscene photos on his phone. Even a video he'd not noticed Cami taking of Astrid going down on him...

Oh. They were talking. He should listen.

"- commute... are you even listening to me?"

"Honestly? I wasn't. I was wishing I was there. But I'm listening now."

"I was saying that... yeah, good point Cami. We'll talk when we see you next. Love you babe."

"Love you too."

He had no idea what Cami had said that was a good point, but thought it wise to get off the phone and get home before they got any more ideas. Plus it was an hour long drive, and already getting late. Hitting play on the stereo, Hiccup smiled as the dulcet heavy metal tones of a CD Astrid put in emanated from the speakers. Well, that should certainly keep him awake and alert. Especially the song he recognised from that party...

Expecting a dark, cold, lonely flat when he got back, Hiccup was amazed to go to flick on the light only to realise it was already on, barely-dressed blondes laid on his sofa with a bowl of popcorn and matching smiles aimed at him.

"You said we had to entertain ourselves"

"You never said we couldn't do it here."

"We might need to change the bed though."

Truthfully, he was thrilled to see them there, so their feigned innocence smiles weren't necessary, though they were sweet to witness.

"I'm going to go clean up, then I'll come join you."

Scrubbing grease and grime from his skin, Hiccup exited the shower a shade or two paler all over, though the temperature shift left much of him flushed pink for the moment as he toweled off, tugged on some bottoms and headed out to where the girls were sat on the sofa, shifting apart to make room for him in the middle.

"So you really got the job?"

"Yep. It's going to involve a hefty amount of learning about vintage vehicles, but that's only half the job and he thought we were both such good mechanics that he was willing to let us take the time to learn."

"That's great babe."

Astrid kissed his cheek, fed him a piece of popcorn. Hiccup smiled at the sweet gesture.

"Yeah. Bitch of a commute though."

"Well, me and Cami were talking about that actually. We're always bouncing between each others flats, leaving stuff everywhere and trying to juggle three schedules."

He had a feeling he knew where this was going, but Hiccup waited for confirmation as they continued.

"So we thought maybe we find a three bed place. Together."

"Three?"

Both nodded.

"One of the reasons this is working so well is that we all have our own space, and I think that should still be true when we move."

"Plus the sound of all my computers and fans would drive you guys mad."

"And let's not forget that most people don't expect any of us to be sharing a bed, let alone a room."

Hiccup nodded to show he understood, letting them continue.

"My tenancy agreement is almost up at Heather's. Dagur can fill the space and pay the rent. He sleeps in there often enough as it is."

Cami went quiet, pensive for a moment. Long enough that both Hiccup and Astrid looked at her with a faint degree of concern, likely to grow if she stayed so quiet.

"You ok Cami?"

"I..." she drew in a deep breath, displaying that same ( _rare_ ) nervous trait she had back when she first approached them "I don't want to just be your hook up. I want to be your girlfriend. Both of you."

-HTTYD-

 **It is three thirty AM and I am watching trash on youtube and writing trash fanfiction, what is sleep anymore?**

 **Alas! Onward.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Kinda disappointed by overall response to last week when I did three chapters, but ah well. The person I write this for seems happy enough :)**

-HTTYD-

A year ago, if somebody asked Astrid if she expected to be going to bed comfortably sandwiched between her brother and her cousin, she'd have thought them crazy. But there they were, in what was, to everyone else, Hiccup's bedroom. In his bloody _enormous_ bed. It was amazing during sex, but looked massive when they were all snuggled up together. It made sense that they got a new, sturdier bed though - Hiccup's poor bed back in his flat had gone through some serious abuse. Astrid was amazed the poor thing took so long to start protesting properly.

She was also amazed by Cami. Who knew she could be quite so adorable? A few weeks back, when they discussed moving in together for Hiccup's new job, Cami came out with a want for a relationship. A _proper_ relationship. With them. Astrid had never really contemplated it, because her cousin had always been such a free spirited creature who never seemed to settle long enough for such a thing. And yet, there they were, with Cami almost as ridiculously snuggly as Hiccup - she didn't sit still long enough to match him, but considering how much time she spent running around? Cami stayed still for cuddles quite a bit.

That night when she came out and said that she wanted a real relationship still stuck in Astrid's mind. They talked for over an hour, mostly about how ridiculously complicated and confusing it would be hiding it. But... how much different was that to before?

"So, what changed Cami?"

Hiccup asked, and Astrid was equally curious about what shifted her cousins attitude from just wanting the fun to wanting some form of committed relationship.

"I don't know. I've never really... had feelings for someone else before. Never mind two someones. But I really like you both, it just took a while to separate that from friendship and fucking."

Taking it slow in bed with Cami was a whole new experience, but an _incredibly_ satisfying one. Astrid had never known her quite so pliant, responsive. Gentle, even. It was like watching her own relationship with Hiccup developing from the outside - they'd been rough, frantic... then suddenly something softer and sweeter began to present itself.

Not that they didn't still play rough and fast and enjoy _every_ second of it... but they made love as much as they fucked, and now Cami was melding into that dynamic too.

Astrid couldn't quite shake that image of Cami cradled to Hiccup's chest, knowing how safe and secure and treasured that embrace made her feel, watching Cami stop to _feel_ something rather than chase the next high. Those hands, usually finding their way into trouble were instead finding their way into Hiccup's hair, clutching him to her as they reached a mutually explosive climax...

Before all _this,_ Astrid had always assumed she'd be jealous watching Hiccup feel pleasure at anothers hand. Instead, she felt cheated that she'd never known how it was to watch such an erotic display before. Of course, she'd felt cheated that first night with Hiccup when she realised how long they'd waited, how long they had _wasted_ not discovering the electricity between them.

Just because they shared the DNA of their gods-awful father. Although Astrid wouldn't deny that them being related didn't add a spark, a mystery, a knowledge they were doing something both so very _right_ and so very _wrong._

Getting woken up by two sets of hands on her skin, two warm mouths finding spots to tease Astrid's first climax of the day out of her... it was definitely a great way to start said day. As was returning the favour, lazy lovers then disinclined to actually leave their bed, but they had jobs and stuff to do. Like make it look like everyone actually _used_ their own bedroom.

"What are we going to do about everyone coming over?"

Hiccup asked, reaching for mouthwash - aside from its large walk in shower (Cami wouldn't settle for less), their houses bathroom also came with a double sink set up. Meaning enough space that they didn't have to take turns brushing their teeth. And Astrid could look at Hiccup's cute butt in the mirror.

"Well, we could tell them not to. All at once, anyway."

Cami suggested, already done and perching on the side to take part in the conversation.

"Well we can't keep that up indefinitely. Eret's going to be living two doors down, for Thor's sake."

Both Hiccup and Eret had to relocate for their jobs - or face a bitch of a commute - and ended up by pure chance finding places on the same street. Cami actually joked that they'd better control their volume, or Eret would hear them. Pondering, Astrid looked at her cousin, then her brother.

"I have an idea. It sucks, but it might work. You said Eret thinks Cami is your girlfriend, yeah?"

Hiccup nodded, unable to answer verbally while he swished.

"Well, we stick with that. I'm going to tell Heather that me and Cami are both dating you, but not each other, and because it's unusual, we want it kept quiet for now. Even from Eret, since you have to work with him. Think Atali will go along with that?"

Hiccup nodded again, bent down to spit before straightening up and wiping his mouth.

"Yeah. She'd never dream of giving up someone else's secret."

Leaning down to rinse her own mouth out, Astrid almost choked when she felt hands on her ass, stroking, squeezing, enjoying the curve. She didn't need to look up to know it was Hiccup - Cami's fingerprints were flattened by the constant use of keyboards, while Hiccup's were rough, well-worked. But still... the image of him behind her as she was bent over... a lovely sight indeed.

"See something you like big brother?"

Hiccup's grip on her tightened slightly, hands flexing before they loosened. It was torturous, the anticipation, and she thrived on it. His sudden slap against the skin there surprised her, his mouth quirking at the side when Astrid peered up at him in the mirror. Cami, sensing a show, got comfy in her spot and continued watching. Hiccup slapped her ass again, switching sides until she could feel the heat under her skin, each sting sending a fresh jolt through her body. Only when he was satisfied Astrid was sufficiently needy and squirmy did Hiccup brush fingers down her inner thigh, finding it slick with her arousal. A soft keen left her throat.

"You want something?"

Astrid nodded, bracing her hands and pushing back, seeking the firm erection that bumped against her leg.

"Fuck me!"

He ran his fingers up and down her bare back, leaving goose bumps on her skin. Astrid growled, not in the mood to be teased now he'd gotten her so wound up. She caught him smirking, the smug bastard. When he began to press inside her, Astrid decided he was forgiven as the ache to be filled settled with his hips against her still-warm ass.

"I wonder if they could sell more houses by adding things like 'the bathroom has multiple surfaces suitable for being fucked over' to the listing."

Hiccup groaned as Astrid laughed, feeling every shake of her body when she was wrapped so tightly around his pulsing cock, his hips bucking and her laugh melted into a moan. Gripping the side, she had to agree with Cami; it really was the _perfect_ height.

His rhythm wasn't gentle or steady; they didn't have time for long and slow, even with the time saved by sharing tooth-brushing time. Astrid couldn't have cared less, watching her own face go slack or twist in pleasure in the mirror, Hiccup's muscles rolling beneath freckled skin as his hips quickened. The edge of the side pressed into her stomach, but without it her knees would never have held her up, body too overcome to do anything but try to hold on through the feelings that wracked her.

Her fading brainpower made a mental note to start getting up earlier so they'd have time to do this more often. Then even that was gone, leaving nothing but coloured lights and _fuck, yes, there!_ in her head, all heat and slide and Hiccup's grunts as he took her with purpose. It was little more than a mindless rut, a far cry from the sweetness of the night before or the lazy fooling around of what was probably less than twenty minutes ago. Astrid let the fire consume her, slumping gracelessly over the sink side. Hiccup stilled, confusing Astrid as he pulled out.

When she managed to raise her head high enough, she saw Cami had apparently gotten bored of watching as she knelt in front of Hiccup, taking him down her throat as a shuddering Hiccup bucked and groaned through his climax. Turning back to the mirror as she tried to stand up, Astrid saw her face was flushed, hair mussed and red lines patterned her stomach and thighs from the edge of the side. Her ass was still pink, and lovebites from the night before were still a lovely shade of purple.

All three of them were late leaving for work, but their employers all knew they had moved house only yesterday, so there was an element of latitude for the first day. Astrid was already considering that she might need to look for a closer job, while Cami pointed out she could quit her job and take up another with ease - there was never a shortage of need for people with her skill set, apparently. Hiccup requested she not take up full time employment that could get her arrested, though he didn't say her hobbies had to be totally legal. Astrid didn't understand the ins and outs of hacking enough to really know either way.

Heather, Atali and Dagur showed up before Eret and his brother, thankfully. Which allowed Astrid to pull them to one side, making a rather awkward explanation as to why they weren't inclined to talk relationships.

"That's fair. We don't wanna bum you out on your housewarming."

She'd not met Kristoff before now, and there was a mix of familiarity and 'are-you-guys-related' when she first saw him next to Eret. For starters, Kristoff was blonde, and didn't bear a tattoo on his face like Eret did. Then she remembered they had different fathers, and she had no idea what their mother looked like. Both were tall, broad and looked like they would probably give a half-decent cuddle. Both were tactile, cuffed each other playfully and Kristoff spent a lot of time mimicking his brother in a ridiculous voice.

"What do you do Kristoff?"

Atali asked, everyone settling with pizza and beers, or soft drinks in Cami, Dagur and Atali's cases - Cami had to drive to work tomorrow, and she never had _just one._ Atali and Dagur rarely ever drank at all anyway.

"I'm a sculptor. Ice, clay... I do professional snowmen around the holidays and sandcastles in the summer, but mostly I work in a studio that produces ice sculptures for parties, weddings and all that."

The urge to crawl into Hiccup's lap and stay there was increasingly strong; he looked adorable, tipsy and giggly and losing an arm-wrestle with Cami. He drew level with Heather. Astrid decided to go one further, challenging Eret. His arms were about three times the size of hers, but he wasn't _all_ muscle. Flexing her fingers, everyone crowded around to watch them. She felt Eret go easy on her at first, eyes widening when Astrid took a lead.

"Come on!"

She demanded he beef up the effort, and then they were playing for real. The surprise on Eret's face was clear as Astrid pushed, held her lead on him. He was definitely _strong,_ that much was clear and she wasn't sure she'd beat him. But she'd go down fighting, that was for sure.

To even her own surprise, Eret went down. Literally, Astrid slamming his hand down so swiftly that he almost fell over, either in shock or alcohol she wasn't sure. There was cheering, clapping, then more pizza.

"You are one scary lass. Hiccup must be scared living with you two so capable of kicking his ass."

"I survive by making offerings of cookies and cakes regularly."

Astrid saw Cami smirking, not saying what they both knew Hiccup also... _offered_ regularly. Very regularly. Probably immediately after everybody else left, for that matter.

"How's the new garage?"

"Awesome. He has so much cool knowledge. We keep going over lunch break listening to him talk about the first car he ever built, or laughing at the daft names he called them. His first car? Greta. His favourite? Bertha. Any relation Cami?"

"Yes, my mother is in fact a car."

Eret snickered.

"Well, he is blond. He could be your dad."

"Except he's gay, Eret."

The tattooed man looked up, surprised.

"What?"

"Yeah. He's gay. Married, I think. He doesn't wear a ring, but that's not uncommon for mechanics at work cus ring covers suck. He did mention he lives with a guy I _think_ he called Stoick, and he has that dopey face when he talks about him."

"Fair enough! Makes no odds to me, he's our boss. I don't care what he does at home."

Astrid doubted that would apply if he found out what _they_ did at home. Still, at least the attitude to homosexuality was known; there wasn't a straight girl in the house, and so anyone with that sort of attitude wouldn't exactly last long before being thrown out.

"I gotta get out of here, Sven will be wanting to get let out before he goes to bed."

"Sven?"

"My dog. He's a lapphund, they're used for herding reindeer. Well, traditionally. Mostly I use him for cleaning up dropped food or cuddles."

"Aww!"

There was a little cooing, and Kristoff rubbed the back of his head bashfully, helping his brother climb up from his prone position on the floor.

"See you at work H. Ladies, I'm sure we'll see more of each other since we're basically neighbours."

Heather, Atali and Dagur left soon after, before Heather was too drunk to actually transport home. Astrid really hoped she didn't have work the next day. Locking the door up behind them, she laughed as she heard Heather talking to Dagur's truck about how green it was. For some reason, drunk Heather was attracted to conversations with inanimate objects, and it was often highly entertaining.

"Well, that could have gone far worse."

Hiccup slipped his arms around Astrid's waist, the first chance they'd had to embrace properly since Heather and co first arrived. Cami wriggled in at their invitation, sighing contentedly as she burrowed into the taller peoples hugs. They only cuddled once in bed, since two thirds of their triad were drunk and Hiccup needed to sleep it off if he was to be fit for work tomorrow.

It wasn't ideal, but... so far, they seemed to be getting away with it. And snuggled up in bed with both of her lovers, Astrid was certain it was worth all the effort.

-HTTYD-

 **Short, but it was partially a bridging chapter to show these three moved in together.**

 **Onward!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sometimes when I get prompts, they are fairly loose, a few details and I fill in the rest.**

 **This one? This stories prompt came with basically a whole page of smut details too. Ah, I do love a nice detailed prompt. Onward and smutward!**

-HTTYD-

Returning from the supermarket, Hiccup wondered what on earth the girls could have gotten up to; he'd learned quickly to never really be surprised about what he might walk in on if Astrid and Cami were left alone. Cutting through to the kitchen, he put away the bag of shopping - it was only a supply run, since they were out of lube and all three had the weekend off work, Hiccup volunteered to go pick up a few things so they'd be able to stay indoors for much of the two days afterward.

Bottles in hand, Hiccup edged around to the living room door, rather amazed to only find the two perched on opposite chairs, laptops perched on laps and focus entirely on the screens in front of them. He hadn't expected such a tame home-welcoming.

"Hey babe."

"Hey... what you two playing?"

"Seven Days To Die."

Hiccup had first introduced Astrid to it; naturally, the two very competitive blondes had begun playing together too, sometimes for hours at a time until one finally had the decisive lead in whatever they decided was that days challenge. Peering around Astrid's screen - she was marginally less likely to poke him and insist he was distracting her - Hiccup saw they were near the end of a cycle, perched on the sofa to wait it out with a drink.

"Yes! I do believe I killed more zombies than you!"

Cami rolled her eyes as Astrid cheered; that told him who won without asking, really.

"You say that now, but need I remind you that I get him first now?"

Hiccup blinked, watching as Cami put down her laptop - very carefully, as she always was with computers despite her usual manic energy - and crossed the few steps to perch on Hiccup's lap with a smile.

"What is Astrid waiting for, exactly?"

"Well" Cami pecked a kiss on his lips "we put stakes on the challenge today. Whoever killed the least zombies had to blow you, the other gets to fuck you after."

"Right... why am I being used as a bet?"

Astrid, still tapping absently at her keyboard to finish up the game but definitely watching the two of them, smiled innocently.

"Somehow we didn't really think you'd mind getting a blowjob, even if it meant waiting for the game to finish."

Well... he couldn't really argue with that. Cami was already kissing his neck, unbuttoning his relaxed-fit shirt to stroke the skin she revealed. The girl was definitely still a tornado in tight jeans, but she could also be soft and tactile and _sweet_ when she wanted to be. Hiccup was far more attached to her than he'd ever expected or really intended to be, falling for the tiny little troublemaker.

As soon as Cami reached the bottom of his shirt, the slow reveal abandoned ship while nimble fingers unbuttoned his bottoms, tugging free his zipper with her teeth before Hiccup had quite noticed Cami moving. Half-hard from her squirming on his lap while Astrid watched already, Hiccup was full-mast in seconds once Cami's hot mouth was on him. Seriously, how did she _breathe?_ Her head all but seemed to drop straight down, guiding his cock down her throat and working the muscles there like it was nothing.

Messy and wet, Cami smirked around his shaft when Hiccup keened, groaning when her tongue flicked across his frenulum, eyes sparkling with mischief as she slowed her pace to tease him, knowing Hiccup needed a little more speed, a little more suction to come. She moaned in appreciation when Hiccup's hands wound through her hair, which never laid quite flat but made an ideal spot for his fingers to tangle amongst the strands. Rubbing that almost-ticklish spot at the base of his shaft, Cami redoubled her efforts on the more sensitive head, gasping softly when his hands tightened on her scalp.

His head fell back, eyes fluttering closed as she brought him closer to the edge. She tugged his clothes down a little more, one hand sliding down to tickle his inner thigh and actually _giggling_ around his cock when Hiccup squirmed. The sensation came before the true realisation as a second set of lips joined the first, forcing his eyes open to find Astrid had tired of watching, opting to join in instead. He'd never quite understand how they didn't knock heads, but when they both settled on spots and sucked wetly, in earnest, Hiccup stopped _caring._

"Oh gods.. I'm close!"

He was surprised to be so coherent, though speech was quickly beyond him as Astrid ran her tongue along the underside of his shaft, Cami tilting to work the rim of his glans, hands fondling his sac as though Hiccup needed more encouragement to completely lose his mind. Astrid backed off when she felt him swell and pulse, letting Cami close her lips tight around his cock to swallow him down as he came.

Almost the second he was done and Cami released him, Astrid tackled her, the two gripping at the light t-shirt and shorts they wore as Astrid sought the taste of Hiccup on Cami's tongue. Still a little dazed, Hiccup could only watch as they tugged at clothes, biting and laughing until they were panting, naked on the floor - they hadn't had anything on underneath lounging clothes, not that that surprised Hiccup much when they had little plans other than staying home.

All three looked up as the door knocked, confused.

"Are we expecting company?"

"No, but when has that ever stopped Eret?"

Righting his bottoms, Hiccup waited for his girlfriends to move, though neither seemed to have any intention of doing so.

"I'll let Eret in to see you like this, and _you_ can explain why Astrid's naked and groping her cousin in front of her brother."

Grumbling, they got up, grabbed their clothes and headed for the stairs. Astrid turned back, winking.

"Don't be disappointed that you're missing out then."

Rolling his eyes - and cursing Eret and wishing he was the type who could ignore a friend at the door all at once - Hiccup waited for them to scamper upstairs, watching their naked backs until they disappeared, listening for the sound of one bedroom door to close before he opened their front door. Sure enough, Eret was there, also probably off work. He briefly contemplated telling Eret it was a bad time, but his friend looked to be bursting with some kind of news and so Hiccup let him in.

"What's up buddy?"

"I didn't want to say anything in case it didn't go well... you know when you think if other people know, a really good thing will just sort of fall apart?"

 _Intimately_ familiar with secrecy and relationships, Hiccup nodded.

"Yeah?"

"Well..." Eret glanced around, seeing abandoned laptops "where are the girls?"

"Astrid's out and Cami is upstairs, working on her computers as far as I know. Whats the big news?"

Eret grinned, actually looking a bit like he might inflate and float off.

"Well, cliche as it sounds, Kristoff and I have been dating these two sisters. And they came over yesterday and... well, they agreed to move in with us. And I won't take up your weekend, I just wanted to see when would be good to sort out you guys meeting them."

Hiccup rubbed the back of his head, thinking.

"Uh... weather permitting, how about tomorrow afternoon? It's meant to be clear. We can do the whole neighbourly barbecue thing. If that's too soon then we can do dinner in the week once we figure out everyones schedules."

"Nah, tomorrow works. They'll not be bringing all their stuff til next week, but they are over here right now to..."

Eret trailed off, eyes glazing slightly.

"Celebrate?"

"Yeah. So I will be ahem" Eret cleared his throat loudly "getting back to them before Cami comes down naked and tells me she'll fuck you in front of me if I hang about any longer."

Hiccup bit back a laugh.

"Again?"

"Yep. Here or our place?"

"Here works. I have a grill out back, just bring something to sit on for you guys. All our extra seating is indoor."

They'd done group nights a few times - Eret and Kristoff would always bring both food and beer, whether or not Hiccup said they had enough in. Eret patted Hiccup's shoulder in his usual friendly manner, then headed back toward the door.

"Oh hey, see if Heather and co are up for it too? We can make a proper meet and greet of it."

It probably ought to be a little depressing how almost nobody in their friendship circle had good relations with their parents - Hiccup and his mother were about the only two who spoke on a regular basis, and he _lied_ to her on a regular basis, talking about everything except the fact he would take his sister to bed that evening. They were discussing the prospect of him saying he was seeing Cami, just so she knew _something_ about why Hiccup wasn't out looking for love, and because he loved his mother and didn't want to lie to her more than he had to.

Given that they'd gone upstairs with basically the express intent of having sex, Hiccup was fairly sure what he'd be walking in on... and yet, he was _still_ surprised. Following the sound of creaking bedsprings and barely-quieted moans, he pushed open Cami's bedroom door. They were sat facing each other on the bed, legs twined as they rocked back and forth on what he realised was some kind of double ended toy.

Cami and her box of treasures continued to leave Hiccup a little stunned.

"Told you- oh, that is _good,_ told you Hiccup wouldn't entertain for long."

Astrid commented, pushing her hips forward and Cami shivered, head rolling back on her shoulders as it became clear ones motions affected the other, their rocking forward effectively thrusting the other end of their shared toy into their partner. It wasn't graceful, but Hiccup was enraptured and they clearly were having fun. So grace didn't really matter.

"Eret only came over to arrange a hang out tomorrow so we can meet their girlfriends."

He got it out before his mind went completely blank, watching as they moved a little closer, increasing the depth they fucked themselves and each other at. Close enough now to grab hold of each other, Cami gripped Astrid's shoulder in one hand for purchase while the other played with her chest, tugging at swollen nipples begging to be touched. Hiccup could feel his cock begin to stir, but he couldn't seem to find the requisite brain power to move, held captive by the show before him as he saw that flush spread across Astrid's neck and breast, saw the way Cami's muscles grew taut beneath her skin. He was well-versed in the signs of their bodies, knew what got them hot and how to spot their impending climax without them needing to tell him.

Not that hearing Astrid curse against his neck, or Cami gasping out "I'm coming!" wasn't really quite pleasant.

They clung to each other, panting and grinning before working to untangle their bodies from the other and the shared sex toy, tossing it on to Cami's dirty washing basket. They beckoned Hiccup over, meaning Hiccup only just noticed he'd answered the door and spoken to Eret entirely topless, with his discarded top on the sofa... no wonder the other man had been concerned about interrupting Cami and getting _another_ eyeful. She really had no shame whatsoever.

Hiccup was quickly relieved of his bottoms too, joining them in lazy post-climax kisses, cuddles and caresses. Moments like these were, in some ways, better than the sex itself; there was no judgement, no fear there. Just a combined sense of warmth and safety and feeling, comfortable in their little bubble.

"He's all yours Cami."

"You sure? You did kill more zombies."

Only they could have such a conversation and it be relatively normal. It wasn't as though they kept score on who Hiccup was inside of the most... they just went with what felt right in the moment.

"Yeah, that toy was kinda hard and I need a little downtime first. So do go on and entertain me."

Naturally, Hiccup had forgotten something downstairs, scrambling into his shorts to jog down and retrieve it. Cami was most pleased to see he'd come back with it, rolling on her front and shaking her cute little ass in invitation. Kneeling behind her, Hiccup coated his fingers in lube, knowing she'd be impatient and demanding but wouldn't actually tell him to skip prepping her. This was Cami's absolute top 'thing'; Hiccup wasn't sure if anal sex rose to the level of 'kink' but Cami loved it. She took his fingers easily, mewling as he stretched her open, enjoying but not quite sated by only his fingers.

Rolling a condom on, Hiccup watched Cami lift herself onto all fours, waiting not-so-patiently to be fucked. Pressing in slowly, Hiccup marvelled at how easily she took him; his hands could cover the entirely of her pert little backside, compactly sized as she was, but his girth slipped in to willing blonde with no difficulty. Hel, Cami had told him before that he could be rougher, but Hiccup dare not risk hurting her.

"Uhhh, fuck you're big" she rocked herself a little, testing the angle and shifting until Hiccup filled her right "move!"

Her ass was _tight,_ squeezed like a vice at his cock on every thrust even with lube and stretching and arousal to relax her. It was hot, watching as his cock slid in inch by inch, hearing her moan and curse in pleasure, pushing herself back to get him deeper when Hiccup went too slow for her liking. Cami arched her back, moved with him, gasped and cursed and bucked, hands fisting so tight in her bedsheets Hiccup wouldn't be surprised if they tore beneath her firm grip.

"Harder! I can take it!"

Cami pleaded, begging with her body and her tone until Hiccup gave in and thrust harder, the guttural meeting of their skin drowned out by her triumphant cry as she got what she wanted.

"Fuck, yes! Like that!"

Leaning to brace himself against the headboard with one hand, Hiccup slid his free hand beneath her and stroked Cami's clit, thrilling in the way she shuddered beneath him and slumped forward to her elbows, whole body moved with the force of his hips against her but she only begged for more, harder, faster, twisting and growling as she devolved to a creature simply seeking bliss. Something about Hiccup's cock in her ass turned Cami purely primal, unmatched by pretty much anything else and he worried for just how much he enjoyed watching her go to pieces, quaking as she climaxed at last and giving Hiccup the green light to stop holding back, barely keeping from coming completely undone himself by then.

Ditching his used condom, Hiccup and Astrid rolled Cami between them, letting her recover from the tremors and aftershocks with shared smiles as the smaller blonde one occasionally made incoherent noises, but otherwise just laid there basking in her post-coital glow for a while.

"Mmm. Thanks for letting me have him first Astrid."

Laughing as she petted Cami's messy hair, Astrid winked.

"Oh, you're welcome."

The glint in his sisters eye told Hiccup he wasn't getting off the hook any time soon... not that he minded terribly.

-HTTYD-

 ***checks under rock* *rifles through desk* I was _sure_ this chapter was supposed to have plot, but... these three just sorta write themselves. We will try again for plot next chapter and your patience is appreciated.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Well... I'm back. Hopefully.**

 **Amused that I wrote this the same day as a Kinktober oneshot that also had a barbecue. Everyone be grilling their noms.**

-HTTYD-

Perched next to her cousin, Astrid watched as Hiccup and Heather tried to fend off one of the newcomers near the barbecue - Kristoff's girlfriend Anna. She was charming and warm and funny, but also a little exuberant and Eret had pre-warned them not to let her help with the cook out. Not if they actually _wanted_ to eat, that was, rather than look at their food on the floor. Cami wasn't much better when she was a little manic, but Astrid could just pick her up and move her away most of the time. Which could even be fun.

But here, surrounded by people with varying ideas on what the actual relationship status within their house was - given the illegality, secrecy wasn't exactly unwise - Astrid couldn't kiss her brother, nor her cousin. And it _sucked._ But Anna and Elsa were lovely women, and with Heather and Dagur visiting while Atali was at work, almost everyone was there. Well, everyone Astrid liked, anyway.

Anna was energy and excitement and giggles, Elsa a touch more sedate. Sharp though, quick witted and she had a sort of ethereal quality in her naturally ice-white hair, dressed in a cute hooded jumper and jeans with snowflake patterns on. The sisters were tactile, playful with each other in a way that Astrid might once have questioned, but she couldn't really deny her own idea of acceptable sibling relationships were skewed. They might just have grown up together, been close, rather than half-siblings meeting as teenagers and harbouring crushes for years.

Cami nudged Astrid's leg with her own, gave her that smile generally reserved for when they were in bed together. It soothed Astrid, reminded her that tonight they'd be together again and hiding it here with everyone else didn't change that. They still loved each other.

"Come on sis, that smells too good to not be done yet."

"Dagur, shut up or you only get salad."

The threat hit its mark and Dagur fell silent, pouting to the amusement of the newcoming females. Astrid was giggling herself, though she did agree - the food smelled great and her stomach grumbled approvingly, even after she'd been picking at the snacks on the table. Cami was intermittently eating and pelting Dagur with bits of sweet potato chips. Watching Hiccup cook earlier in preperation had been great fun - if it wasn't likely to spatter hot stuff everywhere, like oil, Hiccup usually puttered about the kitchen shirtless, which gave Astrid and Cami lots of time to simply sit and enjoy the view.

Sadly, he was fully dressed now. Although the jeans he had on were hugging his ass wonderfully...

"Astrid, stop drooling."

"I'm hungry."

Cami bit her lip, clearly suppressing amusement at the double entendre she could infer from Astrid's words. Oh, she was definitely hungering for something.

"Alright, who's hungry?"

A small series of cheers went up, everyone happy to hear that food was ready. Settled about the garden with their plates, the nine young adults got chatting, getting to know Anna and Elsa properly. Elsa worked in business... management something. It sounded like a lot of admin and Astrid struggled to remain interested, though she didn't let on. Elsa was animated when she talked about it, but Astrid got the impression she liked her job mostly as it involved being in control of a lot of things. She organised her food on her plate, her cutlery next to it, placed her cup perfectly central on the coaster. As she watched, she noticed Anna didn't do it automatically, but silently adjusted if Elsa looked that way. Probably an old habit.

Anna, with all her brightness and cheer, was training as a therapist. Astrid could certainly see her being able to cheer people up, though she knew there was more to therapy than that.

"So what do you guys do?"

"I fix cars with Eret."

"I fix computers. At least, that's all I'll admit to."

Elsa and Anna eyed Cami with suspicion, which in their defence wasn't unfounded - this girl had been in trouble for hacking before, and admitted to tracking Astrid's phone before. Still, they knew where the girls would live. Only a few doors down. And who they were dating - the two idiots already there. Lovable idiots, that was. She did enjoy Eret and Kristoff's company.

"And I torture people in the gym. But only if they ask nicely. Wait. That makes me sound like a specialised dominatrix. I'm a personal trainer."

Cami flicked a stray bit of tomato at her.

"Same thing, I'm sure someone somewhere gets off on it."

Astrid rolled her eyes, resisting the enormous urge to start a food fight. She'd only want to dump something sweet on Cami's face before dragging her to the ground to kiss her stupid cute face. Then drag Hiccup down with them so she could kiss his stupid cute face too. The temptation lingered the entire time, wanting to crawl into Hiccup's lap and touch him, or haul Cami over with her so they could both touch him. Why did she have to want them more when they had company?

"I better start cleaning up."

Hiccup stood, indicating the mess accumulated in the kitchen - everyone had brought their plates and stuff in, but the dishwasher needed loading and so on. Heather got up too, looking to Astrid.

"We should get going anyway, Atali will be home soon and I have work early."

Astrid hugged them goodbye before they left, and the four neighbours seemed to have the same idea. Hiccup waved off their concerns about ditching early.

"Don't feel bad for bailing early or anything. You live right by us, you can visit whenver you want."

They left with smiles, and as soon as the door closed Hiccup was besieged with cuddles. He didn't seem to mind, holding Astrid and Cami close to him, heart beating steady under Astrid's ear. She indulged herself with a quick squeeze of his cute butt too.

"Hey! Behave."

"I just did, for hours! With people here."

"Well, you can wait a little longer. If the kitchen isn't done before I let you two drag me off to bed, then it won't get done tonight."

Astrid considered the argument while Hiccup started on the kitchen, but Cami beat her to a solution by sneaking behind him, undoing Hiccup's jeans and hauling him to the kitchen table before he really knew what hit him.

"You only said we couldn't drag you to bed. The table was not forbidden."

Commending Cami's quick thinking, Astrid sat down at a chair near the table, winking at Hiccup when he looked up at her before Cami dragged him by the front of his shirt so she could kiss him. Any previous concerns for cleaning the kitchen seemed to have faded as Hiccup removed Cami's shorts, pushing her overlong t-shirt - stolen from Astrid - up out of his way so he could devour her there on the table. Well, Astrid supposed it was the right sort of place...

Squirming, panting, clutching the table beneath her, Cami arched and bowed as Hiccup worked her with his mouth, never shy about the sounds she made and both put on an erotic show for Astrid to watch. Not content with only his mouth, Cami pulled him up and went for Hiccup's fastening, reaching into his boxers and drawing a groan from his throat as she stroked him. They came together, table creaking beneath when Hiccup set a quick, sharp pace that Cami responded to with filthy moans and clutching him between her thighs, fingers twisting in his hair.

Astrid didn't escape their attentions, dragged to the floor by them both and left in a wonderfully jelly-like state. Fresh hickeys on his neck and two buttons missing from his shirt, Hiccup stood up, rebuttoning his jeans with a sigh of amused exasperation.

"You two are terrible."

"I didn't hear a complaint until now."

Cami helped her stand, though Astrid's legs didn't want to hold her. Hiccup shook his head, but he was grinning.

"True. Since you made the mess, _you_ can clean the table."

Well, that was probably fair. Cami stuck her tongue out, but she still did it. When the kitchen was relocated beneath the mess, they headed up to bed for the rest of the evenings fun. Hiccup had to wriggle free of two very handsy blondes just to go brush his teeth. Flopping back onto the bed with a pout, Astrid pulled Cami close and smiled as her cousin kissed her cheek, brushed sweat-damp hair from her face.

"We should probably brush our teeth too."

"Yeah. But if we go in there now, we'll not get back to bed for a while."

"And that's a downside?"

Cami raised an excellent point. As did Hiccup, when they pulled him toward the shower...

"You two will be the death of me."

"What a way to go though right?"

Understandably exhausted, Hiccup crawled into bed and threatened to go and sleep in another room if they didn't let him sleep. Not wanting to lose out on group cuddles, the two agreed to behave. They didn't want to break their poor boyfriend, after all. And they all had work the next day. Astrid felt the pleasant aches of a good nights sex as she headed out the next morning, post-morning-quickie. That probably didn't help the faint soreness, but it wasn't nearly enough to make her regret a thing. Hel, it wouldn't have stopped her going again, but responsibilities called.

And when she got home? Quite a surprise.

"Hiccup."

"Yeah?"

Astrid cocked her head, green eyes looking back with a mix of wariness and confusion.

"What is that?"

"This is Toothless."

"You got a cat."

"I got a cat."

Said feline did not look all that impressed with Astrid, though it seemed content to sit in both Astrid and Cami's spot upon Hiccup's lap.

"Toothless?"

"Yeah" Hiccup stood, small black furball mewling unhappily but not really moving "he's got like, no teeth. See?"

A gentle prod to the side of his mouth revealed the cat was indeed a little dentally challenged.

"Why do you have a cat with no teeth? When did we discuss getting a cat? I don't remember that."

"We didn't. I found him at work, curled up in the wheel well of an old car. He's all skinny and he has a few scars... but he came right up and rubbed against my leg. I couldn't just leave him there."

Between the sob story and Hiccup pulling out those darned puppy-dog eyes, Astrid knew she had to accept facts.

They had a cat.

"Does Cami know?"

"She's out getting cat stuff. I'm gonna take him to the vet tomorrow since I'm off work, see what kinda shape he's really in. Are you... is this a problem for you?"

How could it be? His warm, caring heart was one of those things Astrid loved wholeheartedly about Hiccup. That little moggy was clearly evidence nothing had changed - and Hiccup did always say he liked animals.

"So long as he doesn't think he's holding monopoly on your lap. You're cleaning out the poop box. And he's _not_ sleeping in our bed. There are things no animal should ever see."

Cami returned a little while later, cat bed, cat toys, cat food and what transpired to be a childs ball pool with her. Astrid contemplated whether or not it was even worth asking.

"Uh, why did you get a ball pool?"

Oh. Hiccup asked instead. Now Astrid could find out.

"Because it looked fun. I got a kids one! So it's small enough for the cat."

Hiccup looked at their girlfriend in bemusement, then shook his head, kissed her in thanks and set Toothless up with a bowl of food and a bowl of water, a little litter tray tucked in by the washing machine that he dropped the cat down on.

"This is where you poop. If you do it anywhere else I will never hear the end of it from those two. We gotta win them over together, you got it?"

"Hiccup, you realise the cat can't understand or answer you right?"

Hiccup pulled a face, but gave Astrid his most charming smile.

"I can try."

Later that night, Astrid was finding Hiccup a whole lot less cute. Every time she tried to turn over and pull the blanket up a little, a certain little furball she definitely said wasn't allowed to sleep on their bed... sleeping on their bed.

* * *

"Oh, he's beautiful!"

Hiccup smiled as his mother cooed over Toothless - after living with them for a couple of months, he'd filled out, regrown a little fur around some of his injuries and become quite affectionate - mostly to Hiccup, but he did seem to realise that he ought to win over the women too, and gave them attention now and then. He wasn't surprised that Toothless jumped out of the carrier, took a few sniffs and headed straight to his mother. She lifted him, stroking the thick black fur.

"Yeah, he's made himself quite at home. But everyone has Christmas plans, and he's officially _my_ cat so I got to bring him, so you get to meet him."

He was lying, but it made for easier explanations than Hiccup being the only one with any family to want to visit. Astrid didn't speak to her mother or their father on any sort of regular basis, and certainly not a 'home for the holidays' level. Cami's mother didn't celebrate holidays, so Hiccup had promised the three of them would have her first proper holiday when he got back.

"Speaking of, when were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

Hiccup felt his heart drop somewhere around his navel, tried to not let the panic show.

"About you and... Cami, you call her?"

Swallowing thickly, Hiccup kept his eyes on his cat, not his mother.

"What about her?"

"Son. I know you've been seeing someone. And I was confused for a while about why you didn't say anything, then I realised that Cami is Astrid's cousin."

Hiccup had been considering telling his mother he was dating Cami for a while. He just hadn't expected his mother to beat him to it.

"Y... yeah. I wasn't sure how to say it without it sounding weird."

Holding Toothless in one hand, his mother reached out and petted Hiccup's hair with the other, the way she had done since he was a little boy.

"If you've found someone who makes you happy, I'm happy for you son."

Thinking of how he'd found _two_ someones who made him happy, Hiccup could only smile tightly, nodding. He couldn't exactly tell her about the other.

"Thanks mom."

Hiccup didn't enjoy being so far away from his mother all the time - it was over three hours drive with a cat _very_ unhappy to be in a carrier the entire time, but not one who could be trusted to not disrupt Hiccup driving safely. He liked licking Hiccup's face, and would climb up onto his head to do it.

"I hadn't realised that Camilla was your type."

Valka's main experience of Cami was mostly in passing, and Cami was either loud, lewd or libated. Often a combination of the three. Hiccup could see why she didn't match that up with her quiet artistic son.

"Me either, but there's a whole other side to her. She's sweet and funny and caring... I told her I didn't like my job _once,_ and she trawled the web and found me the job I have now. When I came home with that skinny little yowling creature, she went straight out and got cat stuff. And a ball pool. Which actually, Toothless really likes."

"I don't doubt it. So long as you're happy Hiccup. That's all I've ever wanted for you."

Christmas just the two of them was quiet; Hiccup didn't doubt if he told his mother Astrid and Cami had no plans, she'd have invited them too, but they decided not to celebrate it that way, where they couldn't be their cosy triad - not for Cami's first proper celebration. Next year, maybe.

Toothless was even less enamoured with the trip home - he missed Valka, who gave him treats and doted on him with affection constantly. Hiccup would be _stunned_ if his mother didn't have a cat within the next... month or two. He'd considered leaving Toothless there briefly, but knew his mother wouldn't hear of it when Hiccup was clearly fond of the critter. He was sad to go, and his mother sad to see it; Hiccup promised himself he'd see more of her. He was lucky to have any family that loved him so, he knew. Most of the people in his life weren't quite so lucky.

That fact was compounded upon his return, finding Cami and Astrid hosting Eret, Kristoff, Elsa and Anna, who also didn't have much in the way of Christmas plans themselves. His girlfriends followed him upstairs, wanting affection and cuddles now he was back. Hiccup obliged them happily, opening the carrier much to Toothless' relief.

"MIssed you."

"Missed you girls too. We'll talk later, yeah?"

Still squeezing him, they both nodded, reluctantly seperating to head back downstairs. The topic of their conversation was families - everyone had a sad story to tell there. Without Heather, Dagur or Atali there - though they could all have contributed to the topic themselves - Hiccup was free to lament with Astrid about their father, since these were the ones who knew Hiccup and Astrid were related, rather than intimate.

"I was the attempt at fixing a broken marriage. Given that they have been in court for like a year screaming at each other now, I don't think it worked."

Cami said it with remarkably little emotional inflection, but Hiccup had spent a lot of time learning Cami's face. He knew her tells. Knew it stung a little that after having her to try and slap a band aid on their fractured relationship, her parents didn't even contact her more than once a year since she moved out four years back.

"Well, it depends which dad you ask me about, cus I got two."

Hiccup already knew that, and looking at the brothers, it wasn't tough to notice they had a mix of obvious similarities and obvious differences - Kristoff was pale, blond, freckled. Eret was dark hair, olive skin and tanned if the sun even thought about looking his way. Not to mention the big tattoo on Eret's face.

"Well I only ever met Igor. Once. He hit on me."

Astrid frowned. Hiccup remembered that - Astrid was barely eighteen at the time. It was more than a little creepy, and ended in Igor getting a busted nose.

"Yeah... sorry about that. If it helps, I don't think his ego ever recovered from you breaking his face. But no, that's stepdad. Mom left my biological father, shacked up with Igor and had Kristoff. Not before I was named after birth dad though."

Cami, who hadn't heard this story yet, was intrigued.

"So you're Eret, son of Eret?"

"Yep. He was one of the Sami people. I got this tattoo like, three months before he died. He was so proud of it."

There was a faint quiver in Eret's voice as he spoke; he didn't get nearly enough real bonding time with his biological father, and it clearly still cut deep to remember that.

"Well, Igor is no prince either. Him and mom just liked to beat on each other. And us, if we got in the way."

These were clearly things their girlfriends already knew, as there was no surprise but some sadness mixed with a righteous anger as Kristoff and Eret talked their abusive childhoods out. It might not have had a cheery Christmas feel to the conversation, but Hiccup considered the whole afternoon incredibly cathartic - everyone was venting, in a safe space, with supportive people. And a very supportive cat, dispensing tail flicks and soggy, scratchy licks to any in need.

And all in time to start fresh for New Years.

-HTTYD-

 **I'm sorry this took so long to get to. I'd say blame Kinktober, but thats only half the problem. The other was the hiatus I took... anyway, I digress. Enjoy your chapter.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I figure most of the people reading this have been following some of Kinktober, so you guys** ** _know_** **where I've been at.**

 **This chapter is... going somewhere, I guess.  
**

-HTTYD-

For all Astrid's initital complaints about Toothless, Hiccup laughed as he watched her with the newest member of their utterly _insane_ home.

"Stormfly! Give that back!"

Unfortunately, that cat was a pest. Toothless was lovely and slept on Hiccup more than anything. Stormfly had a habit of stealing his socks. Usually the ones Hiccup was trying to put on. Cami was falling over laughing, and Astrid was calmly watching Hiccup chase the grey-tabby critter. Finally retrieving his sock, Hiccup fruitlessly brushed off cat hair before tugging the rescued article on to his foot.

"It's not funny!"

Cami stuck her tongue out, then started taking off her shirt. Hiccup wasn't entirely sure why.

"Oh, I disagree. It's _hilarious_ that you had to convince us about Toothless, and now you're wishing you never made us cat people."

Astrid nodded in agreement, leaning over Cami's back and letting her hand run over her cousins bare chest. Cami didn't wear bras especially often, especially if she had nowhere to be. To be honest, she didn't wear _clothes_ all that often anymore...

They'd lived together for a fair few months now. It was all oddly settled, if they didn't think about the secrecy. Hiccup tried not to. His mother had met Cami, gave them fond smiles as Cami did her utmost to quiet the manic side of her, showing Valka _mostly_ sweet and caring. Apart from openly telling his mother Hiccup was great in bed. Twice. She'd probably have gone into more details if Valka hadn't covered her ears while Hiccup covered Cami's mouth.

Trying to get dressed for the day was a difficult endeavour when Astrid had pulled Hiccup into a shared shower, only for Cami to make Hiccup need a fresh one after - their feral heat would undoubtedly mellow in time, but so far? not yet - but Hiccup was halfway there, in jeans and socks and his t-shirt already picked out. Dragging his eyes away from where Astrid toyed idly with Cami's breast, Hiccup swallowed thickly, unable to ignore the soft mewls of pleasure Cami let out and feeling his cock stir again. The mischievous blondes definitely noticed, Cami twisting in Astrid's arms to reach for her cousin, craning her neck to kiss her.

Astrid's shirt hit Hiccup in the face, where he'd been resolutely looking away and only barely saw them in the corner of his eye. Pulling the fabric off his face, he was unable to ignore the fact Astrid was on her back, Cami atop her as they kissed and gripped and groped. His cock twitched, trying to remind Hiccup those two attractive ladies would happily include him if he simply moved closer. They made the decision for him, two sets of warm and soft and yielding pressing against his bare chest as they took turns kissing him, having already dragged Hiccup to the floor by then.

The fly of his jeans was just coming undone when they all jumped, Hiccup's phone vibrations sounding violent against the coffee table it rested on. Fighting to extricate himself rather half-heartedly from the mass of limbs, HIccup fumbled to grab his phone, seeing his mother's name on the screen and batting hands from his groin.

"Hey mom, what's up?"

"Can't a mother call her son?"

Hiccup chuckled, squirming as Cami and Astrid both shuffled closer to listen in until he clicked 'loudspeaker' on the buttons.

"Of course! But you don't normally call me during work hours."

"True. I had something to run by you, and you know the times are different in Australia..."

Hiccup listened, nodded and mildly panicked as his mother ran through what had gone on with little consult from Hiccup himself, though she had assumed quite rightly that he'd never have insisted on another course of action.

"She's fine with taking the sofa, you know how Mala is."

"Yeah. It's cool. She's not allergic to cats, right?"

"Not last I checked."

As their conversation drew to a close, Hiccup hung up with his mother and flopped back to the ground, feeling fingers skip and flutter up and down his chest and stomach, Cami and Astrid both touching him lightly.

"Which one is Mala again?"

"My cousin. You've probably only met her once... hang on, I think there's a picture in my album."

Crawling to the cupboard, Hiccup pulled out the photo album, heart thrumming in his chest as he remembered what else was supposedly happening in the pictures. The photos were from his seventeeth birthday - the time Astrid said she first realised her attraction to him as more than a brother. Mala was distinctive - tanned and tall, but only appearing in a couple of the pictures.

" _Damn._ That's your cousin?"

Cami was leaning over, looking very much interested. Hiccup raised an eyebrow, then remembered who he was dealing with.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because I want to know why _I've_ never met her."

Laughing, Hiccup closed the album and put it away.

"Because she lives in Australia, and is only in the UK once or twice a year, and not always able to visit. Although with this interview, it sounds like she might be planning to relocate."

Cami tsked.

"That's no good to me now, I'm with you guys. Ah well, I can still look."

Hiccup couldn't help but love that Cami didn't even enquire as to Mala's sexuality, just complained that she was now committed to the siblings she shared a bed with. Cami was so wild, free, unrestrained by labels and conventions. But equally she was respectful, bowed out gracefully if someone turned her down when she was 'on the pull'. Astrid hummed, thinking. Hiccup couldn't help but notice they were both still topless.

"Australian, so, your mothers side?"

"Yeah. Mom has a brother, who has a daughter. I think he also has a son somewhere from cheating on his wife, but that's a story for another day."

Crawling on top of him, Cami licked teasingly at Hiccup's nipple, running her fingers around the other as she knelt over his hips.

"So... should we at least _wash_ the sofa cushions?"

Hiccup frowned.

"I washed them not four days ago."

Cami grinned.

"Astrid and I got bored."

Moods turned slightly more serious for a few seconds as the prospect of where Mala would sleep brought up another problem altogether.

"Your mom knows about you and Cami, so Mala will probably expect you two to share a room. But not me."

Astrid sighed, burrowing against Hiccup's side.

"We all have our own bedrooms. We can use them."

His sister frowned, shaking her head.

"Why-"

"Astrid, babe" Cami covered her cousins mouth "if you can't sleep with us, we're not going to sleep together without you."

"Exactly."

None were thrilled - Mala was staying for a week! - but they could hold out, surely. They weren't animals.

Astrid looked at them both, eyes full of emotions she could scarcely verbalise at the best of times. Then she promptly dived on Hiccup, reaching up to pull Cami into the tangle too. Sloppy kisses and touches followed, a clumsy mesh of the three of them where Hiccup scarcely knew who was who, could only chase further sensations, more skin, kissing the nearest mouth or bucking into the hand of whoever gripped him. Fingers slipped inside warm wetness, moans muffled in his neck, teeth biting fresh bruises into his chest,

Panting, his jeans twisted around his knees and both girls naked and gasping against him, Hiccup turned his head to kiss each sweaty forehead in turn. Both let out soft, happy sighs, Hiccup's smile turning frown when he saw Cami had blood on her lip.

"Are you alright?"

She touched it, fingers coming away red to Cami's own surprise. Running her tongue over to clean the mess, Hiccup could see a tiny nick, surmised there had been an especially rough kiss somewhere. Astrid's mouth was clear, but when he licked his own Hiccup tasted a faint tang with no matching soreness.

"Soooo" Cami rolled up on to all fours, pushed herself up on to her knees and ran fingers through her hair fruitlessly "when is Mala coming exactly?"

 _Too soon,_ Hiccup decided. Too soon, they were scouring the communal areas of the house for evidence of their threesomes - like sex toys in the living room, which Cami was completely unrepentant about. But it also included things like Astrid's clothes slung about in Hiccup's room, her deodorant and hair brush on 'his' _(their)_ dressing table, all the little signs they cohabited closer than most expected. Mala was unlikely to be in his room much, but an open door may have afforded her a view.

Too soon, they were exchanging frantic last kisses. There would undoubtedly be moments to steal, as Mala was not the type to spend all day indoors, but they had jobs and this freedom they experienced was going to temporarily end.

Too soon, they were heading - as a three, because they _could_ \- to pick Mala up from the airport. Australia to England took in the region of an entire day, but Mala was an excellent flier, and scarcely seemed to know what jet lag was despite the jarring time difference; Hiccup had only been to Australia twice, and both times the travel alone took it out of him, without the dodging dangerous animals and blistering heatwaves.

"By the gods, Hiccup? Is that really you?"

Mala slung her arms around him surprisingly happily - Hiccup didn't remember her as especially tactile or affectionate. But he understood what she meant. The last time they saw each other, he'd been a flustered late-teen who could barely say goodbye on account of his height meaning he sort of... levelled with her chest. Not that Hiccup was any less awkward now, but their heights were far more equal.

"Long time no see Mala."

"Indeed. Thank you for allowing me to stay with you on such short notice."

"No worries. Isn't this the sort of thing that family is for?"

Behind Mala's back, Astrid and Cami had twin expressions of _"really? Did you **just** say that?", _arms crossed, hips cocked. It was scarcely quite so clear they were related. Mala let him go, tanned and smiling but visibly a little tired. He nudged her to turn around, introducing the other two.

"You know my sister Astrid, and this is her cousin Cami."

"Lovely to meet you both."

Several inches shorter than Mala each, Cami and Astrid scrambled in to the back of Hiccup's car for the drive back. Mala was quiet, leant back against the headrest as she acclimatised a little. Less sun, less warmth, less deadly animals as part of every day life... it was probably a change, even though Mala was a traveller who'd been in England a fair few times before.

"You can leave your bags in the utility room, the cats aren't allowed in there after _someone_ tried to chew the washing machine wire."

"Don't blame Stormfly!"

"Well I can hardly blame Toothless. On account of him being tooth-less."

Astrid pulled a face, scooping up the pesky animal and carding fingers through her thick fur. It was a good job one of the first things Hiccup did was get Toothless neutered, else he didn't doubt litters of kittens would swarm the place like a pack of hungry, fluffy dragons they couldn't bear to part with. Mala thanked him, placing her things in there and closing the door behind her.

They'd already let both households - Eret's and Heather's - that they would probably be too busy to host anyone over the coming week, but that they'd let everyone know if it was possible for a hang-out where they could meet Mala. Still, with their shared experiences of awful families, their friends were also understanding that Hiccup might want to keep things seperate.

Hiccup tried not to flush as Mala stretched out on the sofa, lamenting that side of his families trait of _height,_ and Mala was practically all legs, so even in First Class (her parents would never have her travel in less, she commented dryly) she was a tad cramped, especially trying to sleep. Still, it was tough to think of just how many times that sofa had borne some form of escapade or other, even with the cushion covers fresh from the dryer after washing, and a brand new throw over the seats.

"How come you seemed so surprised by Hiccup?"

"Well, he was about eight inches shorter last I saw him, with some of the youth still rounding his face and, well, not a great deal of muscle tone to speak of. Late bloomers are not uncommon on our side, though I did _not_ get that blessing."

Hiccup nodded in agreement; Mala was a few years older than him, granted, but he had memories of being about eight, and she couldn't have been more than eleven or twelve but her body was already filling out with curves and swells while he scarcely looked old enough to go to school yet.

"Blessing?"

Cami hadn't met Mala, and Hiccup wondered how Mala's elegant dialect would clash with Cami's potty mouth. He tamped down on an unbidden image of _exactly that,_ knowing it was a side effect of having thrown convention entirely out of the window to date Astrid and Cami. But Mala was just there to crash, take a job interview.

"When you live in a country famed for its incredible heat, being barely thirteen and already filling out your shorts and vests as a grown woman might is not desirable."

Cringing, Cami accepted the drink Astrid passed her and smiled up in thanks for a brief second before turning back to Mala.

"Oh, gods yeah. That can't have been fun."

"Indeed."

Having spent a few minutes contemplating the new arrival, Toothless finally decided to greet her and promptly leapt up onto Mala's lap, much to her surprise. He yowled in her face, demanding attention.

"Sorry about him. He has two settings. "I hate you" or "Love me!". Move, you furry pest."

Hiccup carefully peeled Toothless off of his cousin - the cat lacked teeth, not claws, and Mala would not appreciate torn clothes. Dismayed Hiccup would betray him so, the cat stalked off to sulk. Rolling his eyes fondly, Hiccup mostly sat quietly as Mala settled, Cami and Astrid both having to get ready for work - it had been barely morning when they picked Mala up, after all, and only Hiccup was off that day.

Their footsteps upstairs sounded wrong, coming from their invidual bedrooms; nobody but the cats had ever even slept in Cami's bedroom since they moved in, because her computers made the room loud and unbearably hot, and she often left them running complex programs overnight - though usually with the window open too.

Them leaving felt wrong too - no goodbye kiss from Astrid, no casual contact between the cousins. Only for a week, Hiccup told himself. Just a week.

The only upside to them leaving was probably Mala feeling free to _talk._ Hiccup knew things about her parents that Cami and Astrid did not, knew that the ease she showed around Hiccup was a hard won shift.

"It's cus of them, right? You applying for a job here?"

Mala shook her head, sipping delicately from her mug before she answered.

"Not at first. I applied for a job in Australia, though it was a three hour distance from the city my parents live in. They were so impressed with me that they offered a more senior, _much_ better paid position in their head office over here. The person I would be working directly under is a stickler for proper first impressions though, and so to get the job, I had to come and attend an interview here. I will not deny getting away from those two is an attractive prospect, but the _distance_ was a bonus."

Stifled and constrained by their constant high expectations, Mala's parents had held her to impossible standards - somehow, she'd risen to match them, but it left Mala with cracks and struggles few saw beneath the perfect, confident exterior. She rated herself incredibly highly by achievements, pushing to excel, to climb, but often at the cost of taking care of herself. Mala had referred to Hiccup as "a calming wave" once, because there were no expectations there. All Hiccup would ask for is conversation.

She'd also speculated that part of her parents pushing her into every academic, extra-curricular and 'respectable hobby' activity possible was to distract Mala herself, as though the young, fiercely intelligent girl could have missed her parents relentless infidelity to each other. They only stayed so they would not have to split their possessions. To them, Mala was little more than that. And just because Mala didn't live with them anymore, it didn't mean she stopped feeling like their presence lingered. England was a safe haven for her, but the trip was somewhat prohibitive in terms of time - and cost, though Mala had let her parents spring for the plane tickets as a 'good luck' gift, the parents in question clearly but quietly confident Mala would not get it.

Some things didn't change; Astrid and Cami still wore not much around the house, though the shorts and t-shirts were tight, and didn't cover much, they were a large step up from the girls simply strolling around naked as they would often do to tease Hiccup. The sight of pale thighs was maddening, distracting and they _knew_ it.

Some things did change; Hiccup hadn't slept alone in months, and the minute he settled down in his too-big bed with neither girlfriend nearby, he knew it was going to be a rough weeks sleep. Astrid and Cami both texted sentiments to similar effects; they could probably sneak into his room, but Mala could very easily catch them sneaking out the next morning, or even actually in bed with him if they forgot to lock the door.

Sighing as he rolled over and clutched a pillow to his chest, Hiccup closed his eyes. One week. He could manage.

-HTTYD-

 **I... I don't even know. This chapter didn't go as far into the future as I wanted it to, but it is a chapter. It contains words.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Oh look it's me writing more smut to absolutely nobodies surprise!**

-HTTYD-

She could barely sleep alone anymore. Cami wondered when that had happened. There was a time she could barely sleep next to anyone unless she was blackout drunk and passed out there. And now Cami was scowling at her ceiling, missing Hiccup's arm around her, missing Astrid wriggling to get comfortable before she wrapped herself around Cami with a sweet, happy noise.

On the plus side, it did give her time to plot.

The smell of food and coffee drew her to the kitchen, barely remembering to actually put on clothes since she wasn't sure Mala was ready for Cami strutting around in her pants just yet. If she was ever around after this week - possible given her plans to relocate - then Cami was not going to continue to wear more clothes than she wanted. Every single one of Astrid and Hiccups friends had seen her naked by that point anyway.

Astrid was equally sleepy, slumped at the table glaring at coffee like it was personally responsible for the three of them not getting enough sleep last night without each other. Hiccup was his usual self, though Cami noted the tension in his shoulders - and the fact he was wearing a t-shirt, undoubtedly hiding the patterns of healing lovebites and scratches gifted to him by his lovers. Mala was...

how was anybody so criminally _awake_ at this hour? And after such a long travel time? Ugh.

Sending a mental apology to Astrid as she couldn't do it, Cami stretched up and pecked a kiss on the corner of Hiccup's mouth. He was so shocked he almost dropped the coffee she was about to take off him, but he quickly covered it up with tending to the frying pan.

"Thanks babe."

Mala left the kitchen after finishing a plate of scrambled eggs, apparently less enamoured than them with bacon, and Hiccup turned to Cami with a clear question writ across his face.

"What was that about?"

Standing close to ensure Mala wouldn't overhear, Cami elaborated.

"Your mom will have told her about us... I'm assuming. So it would be _weirder_ if she saw us avoiding touching each other in front of her."

"Oh. Right."

"Oi" Cami gestured to Astrid "c'mere."

Her cousin put up no protest, coming over to be cuddled by both partners, soft kisses pressed on each other in turns while the third looked out. Really, three was a great number.

"She's coming back. But I have a plan."

They didn't have any time to ask, but Cami winked at them both as they reluctantly let Astrid out of the group hug, bacon almost burned in their minute distraction but rescued just in time as Mala re-entered the room holding a bag of coffee grounds with the Australian flag on the packet.

"Coffee snob."

Hiccup quipped, grinning at his cousin now he was apparently cheered up by getting to cuddle both girlfriends. Mala stuck her tongue out, eyes sparkling. Cami quietly considered the strangeness of Mala's elegant speech, neat clothes and perfect posture against the way she seemed a little more playful and relaxed with Hiccup. Well, he did have that sort of influence, putting people at ease.

"I would not want to insult you by telling you your coffee tastes like cremated dirt. So I brought my own."

"How are you ever going to _live_ in England?"

Mala rolled her eyes, nudging HIccup aside with a hip bump that made him laugh. It seemed a familiar enough motion, though as he'd been much shorter the last time they saw each other, Cami wondered if he'd stumbled or fallen over that time.

"I can order online."

Hiccup dropped the plate of bacon on the table, smiling as Cami and Astrid set upon it eagerly while he went back for sausages, sitting down next to Astrid with a soft smile he hid in his drink. Cami didn't need to look to know they'd be squeezing each others hands under the table while Mala wasn't facing their way.

"Ok, I hate to admit it but that coffee smells amazing."

Astrid inhaled deeply, and Mala had a smug look of amusement on her face as Hiccup pouted.

"Better than mine?"

"You don't make ground coffee that often. So it doesn't count."

"Because you complain it takes too long!"

If Mala wasn't there, Astrid would probably have kissed away the disgruntled expression on Hiccup's face, but instead she had to settle for what Cami bet was a hand sliding up his thigh, judging by Hiccup's wide eyes and minute squirms. Oh, Astrid was a tease.

"Would you like to try some Astrid?"

Seeing an opportunity, Cami jumped in and gave Astrid a look that said _agree, agree!_

"Don't you complain more than one coffee goes right through you?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, you're going to the gym. Is that wise?"

She could see Astrid's face crease in confusion, but it smoothed out quickly.

"Fair point. Maybe later Mala."

"Suit yourself."

Despite his mockery, Cami then realised why Hiccup had brought that little carton of cream as well as the usual tub he used for cooking and baking - Mala used it instead of milk in her coffee. Usually only drinking coffee for the caffeine hit or to warm up, Cami had never really played with how it was made. Now she was sort of curious. And thought Hiccup sweet for remembering such a detail.

The rest of breakfast continued on fairly quietly, and then Cami figured it was time for phase two of her little plan.

"So, Mala, do you have plans for the day? More specifically, this morning?"

Raising one slim eyebrow at her, Mala sipped her coffee thoughtfully.

"Dare I ask why you are enquiring?"

Maybe Valka had warned her about Cami in advance.

"Well I want to drag Hiccup to bed before I have work later, if you'll be in I better put some music on or something. I'm kinda noisy, so I'm told."

Hiccup looked slightly terrified, cheeks bright red and hiding his face behind a slice of toast as he shook his head. Mala took a minute to formulate an answer.

"I need to take a shower, and then I did intend to go out for a little while."

"Well, you'll have to get Toothless out of the sink. He likes to sleep there, and he _will_ watch you shower. There are clean towels in the cupboard next to the bathroom."

Mala nodded to Hiccup, rising from the table gracefully and asking if anybody wanted the bathroom before she went. A quick turn-taking later, they left the visitor to lock herself in and Cami promptly dragged both partners to Hiccup's room, aching for the familiarity of it all.

"What was that about?"

Hiccup asked, behind closed doors and hugging them both even as he did so.

"Well if Mala thinks Astrid's out at the gym, she won't expect her to be in here. And like I said, Mala already knows about us. So... ta-da!"

Feeling quite gratified it had worked out so well, the three simply curled up together to cuddle at first, trying to make up for lost time last night. Cami insistently nudged Astrid into the middle - she'd have less chances than Cami. Knowing they'd inevitably end up naked, Cami headed over to Hiccup's stereo, putting on whatever CD was already in there so Mala wouldn't overhear there were _two_ different voices that weren't Hiccup's. Unsurprisingly, _Sunrise Avenue_ came from the speakers, one of Hiccup's favourite bands. When she turned back to the bed, Hiccup and Astrid were already kissing, his hands slipping under her cosy t-shirt, Astrid's back arcing in response to his touch on bare skin.

Cami was more than content to simply watch, but both looked up at her with clear 'get your butt over here' expressions, drawing her back over to the bed to be pulled into the tangle of warm, sleep-wear-attired bodies. Not that said sleepwear lasted very long, practiced hands removing impeding fabric with impunity until Cami could feel Hiccup's hand on her ass while Astrid had her lips on Cami's neck.

They continued on making up for the lost night together though, Astrid between them, facing Cami as Hiccup rocked into her from behind, close and intimate with hands caressing each other. She adored the way Astrid held her close, the way Hiccup's hand not resting over Astrid's hip was buried in Cami's hair. Adored the way both of them kissed her and told Cami they loved her when they were done, after Cami got to see the way they brought each other off, a steady shudder and shared gasps.

And really, they were so cute together, Hiccup stroking Astrid's hair off her face before he kissed her, the way they smiled at each other. Sometimes Cami wondered how she'd never seen it in them before, had ever seen just a brother and sister whenever family members congregated.

With a little... _help_ from playful mouths, Hiccup wasn't long in being ready to go again, sitting against the headboard and pulling Cami backwards against him, letting Astrid watch Cami ride him in intimate, explicit detail. It was the only position Cami was especially conscious and aware of how much taller Hiccup was than her, fully cradled against his chest as she watched him brace his feet against the mattress. The additional stability let him begin thrusting properly into her, deep and jarring at that excruciatingly perfect angle, his girth almost aching as he filled her again and again. Astrid swallowed her moans in a biting kiss, groping her chest and pressing down on her clit so Cami couldn't help but grind against her fingers when she was riding Hiccup.

Dizzying pressure from both sides meant Cami stood no chance against the rising waves, letting them wash over her with that certainty that when she came to, they'd both be there.

Cuddling up with them after, Cami was very much smug about ensuring they'd get time alone, but also aware she did have a job to go to at some point and should probably get up, and maybe take a shower rather than go covered in multiple bodily fluids...

"I gotta pee, I'll go see if Mala has gone yet."

Hiccup extricated himself from his girlfriends, pulling on a pair of shorts to pad out to the hallway, closing the door behind him. Astrid burrowed closer to Cami, seeking body heat Hiccup had rudely taken with him. Cami shifted to be able to run her fingers through Astrid's hair, smiling as her cousin hummed softly.

"Love you Cam."

"Love you too."

Hiccup returned a couple of minutes later, nodding in assent.

"Yep, she's gone. Good job I remembered to give her a key yesterday huh? Since I was a little... distracted this morning."

Giggling and unrepentant, Cami winked.

"Astrid's off work today. She could have stayed in."

Rolling his eyes, Hiccup indicated the bathroom.

"I have to go to work, and we don't have time to all take seperate showers. So you two... _behave._ "

Turning to Astrid, Cami got a wink before they looked back to Hiccup.

"When have you ever known us to do that?"

* * *

Despite usually being an absolute nightmare sock thief, Stormfly seemed content to befriend Mala, quiet and calm as she curled up next to the new houseguest, occasionally purring when petted by said houseguest. With Cami and Astrid upstairs watching a movie together - they still needed one-on-one time, even as a triad, Hiccup knew - he was left alone with Mala, meaning they could talk more freely about Mala's life. Though the moments topic of conversation was in fact her job interview, which had occurred the previous day.

"Well, you said it was only a formality right?"

"Yes, essentially, but if the office head here is against hiring me, then they will relocate me elsewhere."

Honestly, Hiccup was disappointed by the thought. He forgot how much he liked hanging out with Mala. It would be nice to be able to see her more than maybe once a year. Though it would be a relief of sorts when she _left,_ simply on the basis that their home situation would go back to normal. Sleeping alone got old fast.

"I don't see how anybody could be against hiring you. The only thing I could see is him worrying you were going to be so good at your job that they replace him as head with you."

Laughing lightly, Mala shook her head.

"I would not choose leadership again. I did plenty of that in Australia. No, I will be quite happy to work under him, he need not worry. For now."

She winked, making him laugh in return. Stormfly huffed that Mala had ceased petting, cracking open one eye and glaring until affection was resumed. Footsteps on the stairs halted their cocnversation a little later, both turning attention to where Cami had come down the stairs, and Hiccup wondered if Mala could tell Cami's pyjama vest was on inside out... unlike when she'd gone up. Cami seemed to look at them oddly for a minute, then shrugged, crossed to perch on Hiccup's knee and peck a kiss on his lips. Yep... Hiccup could taste Astrid, and damn Cami for putting _that_ in his head in front of Mala.

Completely intentionally, no doubt. Astrid probably encouraged her.

"I have work to do babe, but come get me when you go to bed?"

They hadn't spent the night together since Mala arrived, so Hiccup could only assume Cami was putting on the 'normal couple' act, even as she teased him with the knowledge she'd been having sex with Astrid under the guise of 'movie time' with her cousin.

"Sure."

Cami winked, then slid from his lap to head back up. Hiccup could see a fresh bite bruise on the back of her shoulder, wondering how they'd been quite so quiet about it all. Mala watched her go, brow creased in thought.

"You alright Mala?"

"Hm? Yes, yes, I am fine."

Glancing at the time, Hiccup got up to go and make lunches for Astrid and Cami to take to work the next day. It was a habit of his, as Cami often got sandwich fillings in strange places. Like the ceiling. And Astrid valued convenience too much, and would only take protein bars and her protein shaker with her if Hiccup didn't make her real food. Mala followed him, much to Stormfly's disappointment, but she watched him rather quietly as he did his thing. It was a tad disconcerting, to be honest, but maybe she didn't want to distract him?

Placing their lunchboxes into the fridge, Hiccup smiled to himself about the domestic action as he pulled out a bottle of apple juice to drink. Mala waited for him to be done drinking, clearly having something on her mind.

"Hiccup..."

"Yeah?"

"I... this may sound strange, but are Astrid and Cami-"

Before Mala could finish, a shriek of surprise sounded before something impacted the floor. Looking behind him, Hiccup was surprised himself at the sight of Astrid and Cami on the floor, having apparently fallen over.

"Abort mission! Abort mission!"

They leapt up and scrambled away, leaving Hiccup more confused than ever as they scampered up the stairs.

"Sorry Mala, what were you saying?"

"Are Cami and Astrid, how should I phrase this... _close?_ "

Hiccup cocked his head. He never usually saw Mala this nervous. Not that he wasn't nervous, heart pounding in his chest.

"Mala, what are you asking me?"

Had she moved closer? Hiccup was having a very surreal sense of dejavu, echoes of music in his ears as his heart tingled oddly. This all felt strangely familiar.

"I suppose I am asking you if you have anything against kissing cousins."

Mala was so bloody _tall,_ on his eye level as she leant in. Hiccup thought he probably ought to stop her, but the flustered teenager who had always thought her fierce and intriguing - and honestly kind of hot - was currently suppressing any further thoughts. She kissed him as she talked to him - confident on the surface, a little shy and unsure beneath. His hands settled against her waist, slotting against the swell of her hips. Noticed she was curvier than either Cami or Astrid...

 _Fuck._

He pushed her away, guilt surging and doubling at the confused look on Mala's face.

"I... I can't do this."

-HTTYD-

 **I feel like that final scene would have been so much better with some kind of dramatic soundtrack. Imagine Toccata and Fugue in the background.**


	16. Chapter 16

**If anyone has issue with anything I say about Australia... tough. I'm British, not psychic.**

-HTTYD-

Hiccup headed back up the stairs, mouth burning, mind turning. How... what had just happened?

He hesitated at his bedroom door, turning around and heading to Astrid's instead. As he'd expected, both she and Cami were sat on the bed, looking up at him expectantly and not the least bit ashamed to have been caught out falling over earlier.

"Well?"

"What do you mean, well?"

The door closed behind him, Hiccup wasn't sure if he could go to them. Shouldn't he apologise for kissing Mala? Because he _had,_ for a minute.

"Did you guys kiss? Me and Astrid were betting on it and you need to tell us."

"You _what?_ "

Cami rolled her eyes, shaking her head at Hiccup and sharing a look with Astrid.

"Oh come on! You guys have been like, sending out waves of unresolved sexual tension for days. It's like watching a really bad teen romance, all the unsubtle looks."

"We figured it was gonna happen, but then _someone_ " Astrid glared at Cami "tripped us up and you caught us watching,"

"I was bouncing with anticipation, what do you want? A written apology?"

"No, I want an answer from Hiccup."

Staring at both women in shock, Hiccup floundered slightly before he figured out how to speak again.

"How- what... why are you talking like that wouldn't be cheating?"

Astrid and Cami shared a very exasperated look, then pointed to each other.

"Yeah, because you know _sharing_ is a totally foreign concept to us."

"Yeah, I mean, that's right up there with dating your cousin."

Shoving his hands through his hair, Hiccup shook his head. Those two were so full of surprises, especially confusing ones.

"So, now we've sorted that out... what _did_ we miss?"

They were leaning forward now, sensing Hiccup did indeed have something to say.

"Well, she actually asked me if there was something going on between the two of you."

Astrid immediately looked to Cami, who shrugged as though insisting it wasn't her fault before the other even said anything.

"Hey! I tried to be subtle, but Astrid here is a fine piece of ass and that doesn't stop being true because someone else is here."

"You are terrible, why do I put up with you?"

Feigning petulance, Cami slumped dramatically over Astrid's lap.

"Because you love me and I'm great in bed."

"Modest, you are not."

Laughing, Cami rolled over, facing Hiccup but not lifting herself from where she now had control over Astrid's lap. Her face became even happier when Astrid ran fingers through her messy hair, nuzzling her cousins hand with a soft hum of contentment before remembering Hiccup had not yet answered the original question.

"What did you say when she asked that?"

"Uh, I don't really remember. Then I think she asked me if kissing cousins bothered her, then she..."

"Yes!"

Astrid didn't wait until he'd finished to celebrate, ruffling already chaotic blonde strands even further and pumping her other arm up in victory.

"Damnit!"

Honestly, Hiccup would have pegged Cami as the one to bet he _would_ have kissed Mala, curious as to why she hadn't.

"You didn't think I would?"

"Well, I knew you wanted to, but I figured you would be too noble and worried about cheating on us so you would turn her down and run away."

"Well, that is basically what happened."

Cami wriggled, peering up at Astrid.

"So does that mean we both win?"

"Works for me."

Bemused, Hiccup supposed he had made his confession, and so far both his girlfriends _seemed_ alright with it. Of course, he might still be in trouble and didn't know it yet. They didn't look like tomorrow they'd have hidden his corpse...

"Relax Hiccup. We're not mad."

"What she said."

"You're not?"

Both shook their heads, smiled softly.

"Really."

"I mean, it's not like we can fail to take credit on blurring lines. And like I said, you guys have some _serious_ UST going on."

Sighing deeply, Hiccup shook his head.

"My brain hurts. I'm going to bed."

"Wait up. We're coming too."

"What?"

Finally free of the Cami-sized obstruction, Astrid got up and came over to where Hiccup was still standing near the closed door. He reacted instinctively to her arms around him, wrapping his arms around her in turn, skin of her shoulders warm under his hands.

"Hey, if Mala's getting involved, she's gonna find out. Hel, she might already suspect something. The Aussie is crazy smart."

"We'll talk in the morning. Coming Cami?"

"I assume that isn't the euphemism I wish it was, but yes. I miss my bed."

Hiccup found himself smiling; even though they had invididual bedrooms, beds, their own space, his room and the enormous bed was still absolutely theirs, and the lack of two bodies with him when he slept had been acutely, keenly felt the entire time Mala had been staying. Even if he was still processing and thinking and really not sure what he wanted with regards to Mala... Hiccup couldn't deny himself the indulgence Astrid was insistent on, the three of them heading along to bed. Nights apart didn't change it, how their bodies shifted, adjusted and eventually settled against one another, comfy down duvet covering them as Hiccup was very much snuggled in to by both Astrid and Cami.

Even with his confusion, and even with Cami fidgeting, Hiccup slept better than he had all week.

An early riser, Mala was usually awake, dressed and alert before Hiccup had even gotten up himself. So to see the sofa with its folded up cover and pillow resting neatly on top - with Toothless and Stormfly perched atop that, snoozing happily on the pile of soft things - wasn't unusual when he came downstairs, having left Cami and Astrid to work out their bathroom usage between them while he made breakfast. It was _far_ more unusual, unheard of, even, for Mala to simply be gone. He checked the utility room, and her things were still there, so maybe she'd just wanted to avoid encountering Hiccup just yet? He couldn't blame her. Not when he'd let her kiss him and offered no explanation _why_ after pushing her away.

"Was she already gone when you came down?"

"Yeah."

Astrid stretched up to kiss him, took her drink with a smile as Cami both kissed him _and_ grabbed his ass, winking when Hiccup quirked an eyebrow at her.

"What?"

"You. Keep your hands to yourself and eat your food."

Making little noises of mocking imitation, Cami still blew a kiss at him when she sat down at the table. She was a pain, but he absolutely adored her wild, weird charms.

"So, are we going to talk about Mala now?"

Well, Astrid was going right to the point.

"I'm not sure what to say, in all honesty."

Hiccup then covered up his nerves with a mouthful of toast, while Cami and Astrid shared a look that said they knew he was doing it on purpose.

"We've already talked about this, and we're on board if she is. Are you?"

Still half-expecting it was all a trick and that they would be dumping his corpse somewhere by the evening if he said yes, Hiccup nodded very slowly.

"I mean, it would require a lot of mature, grown up conversations. And there's always the chance we tell Mala about you and Hiccup and she flips and outs you guys."

Astrid gestured in agreement with her fork at Cami before swallowing her bite of eggs.

"That's a very good point. You know her better bro, what do you think she'd do?"

Feeling very much 'on the spot' as they both looked to him for answers on Mala's personality, he honestly wasn't entirely sure. He had no frame of reference beyond the fact being cousins hadn't stopped Mala kissing _him,_ but there was a chunk of difference between cousins and siblings. Hel, some people thought he and Cami dating worth raising an eyebrow at, and she was his sisters cousin but not actually related to him.

"I don't know how she'd feel about it, but... Mala has never been the type to gossip or tell tales. If she was worried I was _forcing_ Astrid, she'd have me arrested in a heart beat, but I think at worst, she'd just choose to have no contact with us over it. And possibly call me a pervert."

Humming in thought, Cami made an obscene gesture with her breakfast sausage before dissolving into giggles.

"You are a pervert. But you're _our_ pervert."

"Exactly."

Astrid agreed, both girls grinning at him in eerie sync before setting in to their probably cold breakfasts. Hiccup's toast was certainly cold.

"What if Mala is only interested in Hiccup? I mean, she doesn't read straight to me."

"You say that about everyone."

Cami huffed.

"That is not the point. Are we still ok if it's just Hiccup getting a new girlfriend, not us?"

Astrid tapped her jaw, miming a deep-thought-beard-stroking.

"Sure. So long as I can watch."

Cami agreed with her cousin, leaving Hiccup shaking his head at the madness those two brought into his life, but that he absolutely would never choose to be without. He still remembered harbouring an illicit crush, shameful and secret before Astrid threw caution and convention to the wind, pulling Hiccup into that alleyway to turn his world completely upside down. Her flushed cheeks and hungry mouth and trembling thighs still burned, sharp and clear in his mind whenever Hiccup's thoughts turned to the start of all... _this._

"Hey."

Fingers brushed the back of his hand, drawing Hiccup's attentions up and out of his own thoughts.

"What?"

"If you just want to stay us three, tell us. Don't let us push you into anything."

Shaking his head, Hiccup flexed his fingers to lace them up through Cami's.

"I'm fine. Just not getting ahead of myself. This might all be too much for Mala and speculating her sexuality will all be for nought."

"Curse thee logical one. I better go get ready for work. Those websites won't hack themselves!"

"Aren't you a programmer?"

"Shh. That's what you think!"

With Mala working in and around law, Cami being a hobby-hacker was probably something that could make any sort of relationship amusingly tenuous for such an obscure reason. Reminding himself he wasn't getting ahead of anything, Hiccup stood to kiss Cami goodbye on her way out, warmed by their three-way hug before their favourite tiny whirlwind headed off to probably wreak semi-controlled chaos.

"Much as I'd love to drag you to bed, I'd be late for work if I did."

"So?"

Rolling her eyes, Astrid stretched up to kiss him but pulled away before Hiccup was satisfied, leaving him mock-sulking as she headed up to change into her workout gear to go and gently torture some people at the gym. It left Hiccup to largely entertain himself, playing with Toothless until the little furball decided napping was a more pressing matter, plopping down next to a snoozing Stormfly, who responded only by cracking open one eye before she too was asleep again.

"Treacherous felines! I convince the girls to let us keep you, you have all the toys in the world and I am talking to sleeping cats."

Deciding he needed a distraction, Hiccup went to load the dishwasher - he wasn't above using the sink, but with three of them all in full time jobs, it was nice to not worry there would be no clean plates or cutlery when they got in of an evening. That led on to cleaning the kitchen, radio on and Hiccup taking advantage of his alone-ness to lark about with it, dancing with the broom and singing horrendously off key. If either of his girlfriends were home, they'd be in fits of laughter and Hiccup would probably be blushing a neat shade of crimson as they discovered he knew the words to a Girls Aloud song.

In his defence, it was only because of _Love, Actually._ And a Richard Curtis movie was basically obligatory British viewing.

Turning around with a dramatic kind of flair as he declared "jump for my love!", Hiccup almost fell over in shock and definitely dropped the mop. He wasn't alone.

Mala was near the door, hand over her mouth and mirth writ across her face as her shoulders shook with laughter. Hitting the radio until it shut up, Hiccup wished she'd stopped laughing. Except when she did? They'd probably have to _talk._

-HTTYD-

 **Yes, I _was_ watching Love, Actually while I wrote this and I am not ashamed. Hiccup would look great doing Hugh Grant's dance!**


	17. Chapter 17

**If this is late, blame Confusion. Most of you are probably reading that anyway, so you know.**

 **Also no, I'm not renaming it to 'Hiccup's Family Harem'. I mean, Valka isn't joining so it would be incomplete!**

-HTTYD-

Cami wasn't entirely sure what she expected to come home to, but it certainly wasn't Hiccup and Mala sat at opposite ends of the sofa, both looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"Everything alright?"

They both nodded, and Hiccup got up to follow Cami upstairs as she went to change out of respectable(ish) work clothes into much less. She'd barely gotten her jeans unbuttoned to peel the tight material - it was _ridiculously_ hard to find jeans that fit her tiny frame without them also being slim-fit - down her legs before Hiccup's hands were on her hips, chest against her back and Cami didn't have to move to know he was half-hard.

"Did you talk to her?"

"Uh-huh. She's in. But you and Astrid were very specific about watching, so we've been waiting for you two to come home."

His fingers were already tracing that slip of skin between t-shirt hem and waistband, knowing it would raise goosebumps on her skin, tempt Cami with the anticipation of further contact. Bloody tease.

"Is Astrid not back yet?"

"Nope."

Hiccup dropped his hands, smirk on his face telling Cami he damned well knew she was already a little flustered, that _waiting_ was not an appealing option. But the payoff would be quite something - Mala was hot, and watching Hiccup with pretty much anybody sounded like time well spent.

"Is she only in to you?"

He didn't answer. Well, he winked. Cami was fairly sure that meant something good, but she had the self-restraint to let Mala initiate something if she was open to playing with the girls too. Finally kissed 'hello' in greeting, Hiccup even helpfully liberated her of her t-shirt, hands sliding down her back as they embraced for a minute. He was comfy to cuddle with, despite his fairly narrow build.

"So she knows about you and Astrid?"

"Yeah. I told her. She told me she'd already worked it out. It makes me wonder if Astrid and I are really not that subtle, too many people seem to be working it out by looking at us."

Cami shrugged, squeezing him a little tighter.

"It might be something that only other people who consider boning their blood relatives notice. I mean, it's not something that _occurs_ to your average person."

"Well, lets hope so. Cus I don't fancy prison."

"Who's gonna actually report you? More to the point, who would be able to _prove_ anything happened? Only a few people actually know about you guys being related, and only a few others know you're together. The only people in both column A _and_ column B are me and now Mala."

Hiccup nodded, pressing a kiss to her head and Cami felt a soft pulse of warmth and contentment. He was too cute.

"I guess so. Promise not to tell on us?"

"Idiot. Love you."

Chuckles rumbled in his chest, right under her ear as they stood still cuddled, one of his thumbs rubbing up and down the dip of her lower back.

"Love you too. You hungry?"

"Yeah, but we're waiting for Astrid apparently."

"I meant food."

Cami huffed.

"I consider sex a major food group, I'll have you know. Gotta get that five a day."

Actually, now she thought about it, five a day wasn't unrealistic. It was rare _nothing_ happened on any given day; even when her or Astrid were on their period, they'd give Hiccup oral sex pretty often. And if one of the trio was too tired, the other two went off to one of the other beds, then returned for snuggle-sleep.

Thinking of bed and Mala, Cami supposed it was good that their bed was so _ridiculously_ oversized. And that the other beds had been bought with Hiccup's height in mind - some standard beds were a little short to anyone over six foot. Which both Hiccup and Mala were.

Reluctantly peeling herself off of Hiccup, Cami took off her bra and pulled on her home-lounging vest, enjoying the cosy cotton on her skin as she stretched out. If it weren't so bloody _cold_ in her workspace from all the air-con keeping computers cool, Cami mightn't bother with a bra at all, but she preferred not having every male who turned up either talking to her nipples, or blushing and stammering like Fishlegs. Hiccup's hands landed on her shoulders, squeezing and rubbing away tension there until she melted back against his chest, muscles turning to butter under knowing hands.

"Is there anything you can't do?"

"Long division? I was never much good at karate either."

Smiling fondly, Cami only moved away to take off her jeans at last, rubbing her legs with a frown before going on the hunt for moisturiser. The air con was bad for her skin too. When Hiccup saw her sitting down on the edge of the bed to do it, he stole the bottle from her hands, kneeling on the floor and starting to rub it in for her. His fingers were slow, deliberate, methodical, face quite serene. Like there wouldn't be anything else he'd rather be doing. Her calves and shins and knees were fine, but by the time Hiccup was rubbing firm circles on her inner thighs, Cami was squirming, the intense mix of intimacy and contact with sensitive skin leaving her wanting no matter how she tried to let the moment stay platonic.

"Better?"

"Much. Thank you."

Hiccup smiled softly, dropped a kiss on her knee before straightening up to put away the bottle of skin lotion while Cami retrieved her shorts, sliding them up over legs that felt much less dry and rough.

"Soooo... when is Astrid back again?"

Glancing down at his watch - Hiccup kept best track of everyones comings and goings - he calculated.

"Assuming there's no traffic? Any minute now."

Almost as if on cue, Cami heard their front door open and close. Hiccup crossed to their bedroom door, sticking his head out to listen to Astrid and Mala talking. At least, that was what Cami assumed. Either that or he really liked hallways. He stepped back after a minute, leaving the door open for approaching footsteps to bring a new person in. Astrid smiled at the both of them, having obviously showered at work that day - else she'd have come home in work clothes to shower there.

"Hey you" she pulled Hiccup into a kiss first, fingers curving around his tapered hips, before moving on to Cami "and hey you."

They exchanged smiles before the usual three-way hug, Astrid looking very smug to be in the middle of it.

"What smells so good?"

"Hiccup moisturised me. And no, sadly, that's not a euphemism."

Astrid laughed as she moved to change into her own comfy clothes, Hiccup's eyes following the movement of her hips as she walked. In his defence, they _were_ very alluring. Astrid's hips could probably stop traffic if she wanted. Now she thought about it, Cami realised Mala had a similar hip-sway as she walked, to go with the fact Hiccup definitely seemed to have a thing for blondes.

"So" now changed, Astrid slid herself quite neatly against Hiccup, who raised an eyebrow and gave her his undivided attention "Mala said you guys talked."

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And what?"

Astrid rolled her eyes, nudging Hiccup playfully.

"How did it go?"

"Well, it probably couldn't have gone better. Honestly, she's been patiently waiting for you guys to come back because I told her that was the deal."

That certainly put a smile on Astrid's face. Cami felt a pulse of warmth low in her belly, urging her to encourage them to bring Mala to bed. Or go watch Hiccup do her on the sofa. She wasn't terribly fussy either way right now.

"Did you have the whole talk with her?"

Hiccup frowned.

"About...?"

"Birth control. Condoms."

Cami remembered that conversation. She'd been planning in advance for it and got checked out beforehand.

"Oh. Yeah. She's on birth control, and hasn't had sex since her last check up. Mala takes care of herself."

"Then why is she still downstairs?"

Even though she thought herself pretty confident and unshakeable, Cami had _definitely_ been more nervous the first time she'd approached Hiccup and Astrid. Mala looked completely fine, eyes roaming their shared bedroom, taking the details in before she captured Hiccup. She suspected talking had taken place between hot, heavy kisses earlier, because they clearly had an idea of how to move with the other, Hiccup's fingers slipping into short blonde hair as Mala hauled him against her by his hips, pushing her own into him.

Astrid looked over at her, that spark in her eye enough to make Cami _weak_ for her cousin. Was it possible to spontaneously combust from arousal? Cami certainly felt that way. Hiccup and Mala broke apart to breathe, both panting, flushed, the faint tremor in his upper thighs enough for someone so attuned to his body language to know Hiccup was achingly hard, desperate for _something_ to direct his burning arousal at.

If she thought Mala attractive before, she was positively obscene to look at with that heat in her eyes, tongue wetting reddened lips before she pushed back against Hiccup, his back hitting the chest of drawers behind him and _fuck_ Cami loved to watch Hiccup get roughed up. He _really_ had a type.

"Hey! It's very rude when you have an audience to keep your clothes on this long."

Hiccup had to stop kissing his cousin to laugh at Astrid, who pulled off an incredible mix of lust and petulance as she crossed her arms while a flush crept down her neck to spread over her collarbones. Mala looked torn between agreement and annoyance that Hiccup was no longer kissing her. Personally, Cami wanted to see Mala's reaction to Hiccup's not-so-little surprise. Even Astrid said she was shocked the first time they had sex. Not that Cami knew when she'd had the time for a measurement during that messy alleyway fuck.

Mala settled on agreeing, hands already stripping Hiccup of his t-shirt, manicured nails dragging over his chest and watching his spine arch up into her touch. He didn't have chance to return the favour before Mala was removing her black jumper, tossed aside to reveal a black bra, little gold swirling details bringing out the womans deep Australian tan. Hiccup's hands settled on curved hips, taut abdominal muscles flexing under his thumbs. Distracted, Cami hadn't noticed Astrid moving until hands landed on her own waist, softly panting against her jaw from behind her as they watched Hiccup and Mala. Hiccup's belt buckle clinked as Mala worked it open, button popped and zipper eased down until he hissed in relief.

"Oh my. Somebody _really_ grew up."

Hiccup groaned as her hand circled him, boxers stretched tight over his erection bunching up as Mala pumped him a few times, getting a feel of the heavy shaft.

"So I've heard."

Green eyes flicked over to where Cami and Astrid were watching, clearly reading Hiccup's inference that they'd commented on his size too, amused by the near-resigned tone of Hiccup's voice. He obviously hadn't heard many compliments before them. Well, it was any previous girls loss, and _all_ of their gain. As Mala was probably soon to find out, since Cami knew first-hand Hiccup wasn't just hung, he was a considerate and reciprocating lover who dedicated plenty of time and effort to the pleasure of his partner. She was rather excited to watch someone experience that for the first time - Astrid was old hat by the time she joined them, and Cami couldn't exactly have watched herself.

Mala kicked off her trousers before the two stumbled over to the bed, Hiccup already pulling at the waistband of matching black-and-gold briefs. Cami took a minute to contemplate whether or not Mala was the type to ever not wear a matching set, but then Astrid's fingers slid under her shorts to touch her in sync with Hiccup's tongue on Mala. Astrid's other arm around her waist was all that kept Cami standing, body jolting with pleasure as that sinful Australian lilt became a hungry, mewling moan. Mala was almost a foot taller than Cami, and watching her writhe on the bed with Hiccup's mouth working between her thighs, Cami was certain that height difference was entirely down to those mile-long legs.

Hiccup was insistent, demanding for ecstacy when he went down on someone and Cami knew his eyes would be fixed on Mala's face, hands on her thighs feeling for the shaking of her muscles, testing as he tasted her to find which flick of his tongue made her shudder, whether she liked the vibration of his humming or the tease of light suction from his lips. He'd learn them all, repeatedly use them to torment her until the trembling wracked her entire frame.

Astrid was no more merciful, mouth latching on to a sensitive spot below her ear as fingers stroked her clit, dipped down to feel how wet she was. The filth that came from Mala's mouth only pushed Cami's need higher, hips rocking into Astrid's hand, her own a little clumsy but finding it's way behind her, down Astrid's shorts to find her equally turned on by it all. It wasn't a comfortable positiion for her arm, but Cami was far too distracted to _care._

When Mala could be denied no longer, she hauled Hiccup by his hair - which Cami knew he loved - and pinned him on his back, devouring his sticky mouth before she was on top of him, coating his cock in slick as she rutted against him.

"Are you alright down there?"

"Peachy!"

His voice was strained, cords of his neck standing out with the tension of suppressed desire as Hiccup keened with each pass of Mala's hips, never allowing him the chance to slip inside tempting heat. Finally taking pity on the gasping, squirming wreck beneath her, Mala reached down and guided him into place, taking him slowly as her body worked to accomodate his size until a sweaty, shaky Hiccup was finally buried fully inside her, clearly happy about that fact.

"M-Mala!"

"Hmm?"

How could anyone speak so calmly with Hiccup stretching her to fit him, hot and thick and pulsing? It defied belief, really. Seeming quite content to sit there, Mala reached up to unhook and remove her bra.

"Move? _Please."_

His fingers flexed against the bedsheets, fisting in a white-knuckled grip when Mala didn't quite move, but seemed to squeeze her muscles around him, leaving Hiccup even closer to delirium than before. Figuring there was enough bed-space for two very close ladies to scoot up on, Cami dragged Astrid over before her legs gave out entirely on her. They shifted until both could continue touching the other, staring unabashedly at the point bodies met, seeing Hiccup's girth wet and shiny, slick with Mala's arousal as she raised herself up, lowering down with measured steadiness and a soft "oh!" sound.

The slow pace didn't last, Mala adjusting to his swollen cock inside her after a few strokes and picking up her rhythm soon after. Hiccup bucked and shook beneath her, hands running up her toned stomach to palm her ample breasts. For first-timers, those two had some serious natural compatibility. It probably helped that Hiccup really liked the whole getting-thrown-down-and-fucked thing, and Mala being that type didn't surprise - she _clearly_ liked her control.

Cami's own climax hit her unexpectedly, the build of sight and sound and touch, the heady taste of sex and arousal heavy on the air and rapid strokes across her needy clit all coalescing into a sudden explosion, moaning as she soaked Astrid's hand and pushed against her fingers. As soon as she regained control of her limbs again, Cami was returning the favour, redoubling her efforts until Astrid melted against her, cursing and shaking and gripping until the tremors subsided. Post-orgasm Astrid was pliant, soft, giggly. And still very interested in watching her brother get ridden by his cousin.

Hand under her backside, the other at the base of her spine, Hiccup gripped Mala and flipped them, lean body working between spread legs and while Mala growled in challenge, she did not change them back. Pale and freckled against tan and curves, the ropey muscles in his back flexing and stretching as Mala's nails dragged across fading scrapes left there by Cami and Astrid before. Her nails were kept short, perfectly filed, did far less damage than the hands of women who worked with their hands but his sweaty skin still showed angry red lines where Mala clutched him tight, moaning as those ridiculously long limbs wound around Hiccup.

"I'm coming."

Mala's breathy utterance was all it took to bring Hiccup over with her, his upper body seizing while his thrusts stuttered and pushed, pressing himself as deep inside Mala's quaking body as he could to let the climax take him over. A few rocking motions accompanied with groaning, gasping sounds as they tried to sustain the high, before both were slowing to a stop and fighting to catch their breath.

Hiccup moved to slump on his back, eyes immediately seeking Cami and Astrid, checking they were still ok. There was no discussion before both of them moved, taking turns to kiss him in reassurance. There was still the sticky taste of Mala on his mouth; Cami found it funny they'd crossed _that_ line before either she or Astrid had even kissed Mala. After a minute's silent contemplation, Mala moved and rather than let her twist and worry, Cami met her halfway. She kissed like she spoke; in complete control, perfect pressure on her mouth. Astrid took her place, an equally dominant kisser against Mala and it certainly made for an entertaining show.

Shuffling until they were loosely embraced on Hiccup's other side, Astrid squeezed Cami before reaching over to poke Hiccup.

"You're not allowed to bring home anyone else, we'll need a bigger bed!"

-HTTYD-

 **I mean, by now nobody should be surprised by copious amounts of polyamory and incest fics from me. And if I can combine them? Bonus!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Guest - Yeah, maybe Familial is a little fantasy-heavy in regards to the whole Hiccup has his three women thing,** ** _however,_** **you appear to be focusing on that aspect over the fantastical aspect of everyone being totally on board with incest (which I'm fairly sure already knocked over the whole realism aspect), and that it isn't just Hiccup who gets three people to fall in love with. Finally, Familial is a gift to a friend that I try to update whenever he needs a cheering up (I fail at that a lot I am sorry) and so long as he's happy with the way this goes, I am too. Also his 'enormous dick' was originally a _joke_ in Awkward, the one shot that preceded this story and I was asked to keep it in. I'm sorry you feel Familial is lacking, but yanno, you don't _have_ to read it...**

-HTTYD-

"You know she's coming back soon, right?"

"I know. I guess I just got used to having _two_ extra-long people in bed."

Mala had been... absorbed into the messy polyamorous love-fest remarkably fast, though Hiccup wasn't all that surprised. She'd not have come after him, certain of the other relationships shared amongst siblings and cousins, if she wasn't sure about what she wanted. And now Cami was lamenting the loss of the fourth person in their bed, though honestly she could find almost anything to pout about if she put her mind to it.

And, as Mala had successfully gotten the job over in the UK, she was back in Australia, packing up to relocate herself. They had talked about her finding her own place to start with, but really, what was the point? Fitting a fourth persons belongings and presence into the house wouldn't be superbly easy, but given how they largely all slept in one room, Hiccup reckoned they would figure it out between them.

Astrid shushed Cami, mumbling about how it was time for sleep and Hiccup agreed.

"The sooner you sleep, the sooner Mala will be back to take up space for you."

Only pacified when sufficiently nestled - almost squashed, really - between Hiccup and Astrid, Cami finally went to sleep. Smiling to himself as he watched Astrid and Cami in slumber, Hiccup felt movement near his foot, looking down to see two pesky little fluffballs creeping in to the bed they weren't supposed to sleep on but regularly snuck in to do so anyway. Once settled in the large space behind Hiccup's back, the cats settled. It seemed ludicrous having such a big bed much of the time, especially when his two present girlfriends had frequent habits of sleeping effectively on top of him or each other, but it had meant no struggle fitting Mala in, and left plenty of room to stretch out during activities more athletic than sleeping.

Although they seemed to be putting the poor thing through its paces already... Hiccup suspected it was built for a large sleeping persons weight, not four sexually active adults playfighting and generally climbing all over each other.

Little things that signalled bigger changes began before Mala even left to go back to Australia - like a fourth toothbrush in the bathroom, or Hiccup adding a new coat hook to the wall. The introduction to the other households they were frequently in contact with - Heather, Dagur and Atali then Eret, Kristoff, Elsa and Anna - had gone very well, but then Mala was not one to be shaken, and didn't slip up once in regards to the balancing act of who knew what about which relationship.

They'd discussed _that_ too. Even without anybody knowing the _exact_ ins and outs of their relationships, over time it may become suspect that the four lived together with nobody showing signs of dating other than Hiccup and Cami. After some back-and-forth ideas, Astrid had landed on the present winner.

"If you can date my cousin, I can date yours. My sexuality is no secret, after all."

Mala agreed, though obviously they wouldn't be declaring a brand new relationship immediately after Mala moved to the UK, but at least they had a _plan_ in place. Hiccup adored how practical his cousin was. Not to mention pragmatic.

All in all, the addition of a fourth into their previously-closed-triangle had not been that difficult. Of course, they still had time to decide living together was a nightmare - Mala hadn't moved in _yet._ But Hiccup was quietly optimistic, and since Cami and Astrid were happy, he was too.

Even if he had to get up early for work, and reluctantly leave two very sweet, tempting blondes in his bed who kept trying to lure Hiccup back. It was a monumental effort to not let them draw him in, because that five-minute-quickie would - and _had_ \- become hour long trysts that made him late for work and the butt of Eret's jokes, because Hiccup inevitably had 'well-fucked' written all over him. Or lovebites. He usually had a lot of those too.

"Hi-iiiicup!"

"No. Go back to sleep or something."

"But you took all your warmth and morning wood with you."

Rolling his eyes fondly, Hiccup leant over the bed to kiss them both goodbye, anticipating and bracing for their hands attempting to grab him and drag him back down into the tangle of sleep-warm skin and rumpled blankets. He was deeply tempted, but managed to drag himself away to go to work. Early shifts - or cockblock shifts, as Cami called them, with her penchant for morning sex - weren't pleasant, but it did mean Hiccup had his evening free, which usually entailed dinner and lazing in front of the TV with a couple of cute blondes, rather than late shifts that were hasty eating, a quick shower and straight to bed.

And Cami, who also liked shower sex and sofa sex and just about any other kind... usually perked up about being denied morning sex. Honestly, Hiccup reckoned they were secretly trying to kill him and he just happened to really enjoy the slow death. Even with the fact the three ladies were quite happy to play amongst themselves, Hiccup was very often fucked to what he considered within an inch of his life. Astrid told him he was being overdramatic.

"Morning sunshine!"

"Eret, it should be illegal for you to be such a morning person."

Grinning, Eret nudged him playfully before returning to the wreck he was working on. Hiccup had a restoration job to be getting on with, delicate work replacing as little of the original car as possible but ensuring it was working and road-safe at the same time. Gobber had quite a good collection of original model spare parts, but Hiccup generally tried to fix what was there before replacing if he could. Their jobs were awesome, their boss great and Hiccup was still immensely grateful to Cami for finding them that job advert simply because Hiccup had lamented his job to her _once._

Indirectly, that had led to becoming involved with Mala. As Hiccup probably wouldn't have had the space to host his cousin were he still living in his little flat, and moving had only been possible with the higher wage coming in from working for Gobber. He smiled to himself at how all the little pieces fit together - just like an engine.

"So is your cousin really moving in with you guys? Tight fit in a three bed place isn't it?"

"Yeah, but if Cami wants space she goes and sleeps in Astrid's room so they can eat ice cream together. Mala is used to sleeping through noise and heat, so she's sleeping in the room full of Cami's computer gear. Plus it might not be permanent... I think Mala just wants someone familiar and somewhere she can be herself until she finds her bearings in the new country yanno? Relocating countries is no picnic."

"Hey, I get it. Just wondering how you're gonna handle three fierce blondes twenty four seven."

Biting back a comment about how _handling them_ was no chore, no matter how exhausting, Hiccup shrugged.

"We all have jobs, so it's not like it's always _all three_ of them. More like two at any given time. And all are possible to bribe with food."

"Ah, you cook for your survival!"

"You got it buddy."

Absently doodling on his lunch break, Hiccup looked around at all the tools on the walls, the empty space he had for when he had something like painting or just delicate things to work on... and had an idea.

* * *

"Eret caught you?"

Astrid giggled, content to lean against her brother, Cami sat between her legs while Mala resided on Hiccup's other side. They were working this whole one-sofa-four-people situation pretty well.

"Yeah. He thought it was hilarious. All the more so when you consider he thinks the only other person in that bed is Cami."

Cami, while rather sexually aggressive and blessed/cursed with boundless energy, was not exactly a weighty thing, shortest and lightest of the four of them. And Eret, only aware of a relationship between Cami and Hiccup, had discovered Hiccup in the garage they both worked in. Proving themselves as employees, they had an amazing amount of autonomy from their boss, and Hiccup had sneakily began using his workspace there to build something very much necessary - a much stronger bed frame. They were already threatening the structure of their current one. Astrid wasn't that surprised, really.

"What did he say?"

"His exact words were 'I didn't realise Cami was _that_ rough with you. Are those hard points? _Kinky!'_ before he started asking who tied who up. So if Eret asks, I totally do the tying."

All three women around him burst out laughing, and Hiccup was not far behind. He probably _would_ do more tying, but there was a great deal of fun to be had with him being left helpless and restrained so they could have their way with him, and he _loved_ it.

"You say that, but I bet he didn't believe you. Don't forget, I once left you cuffed to the bannister then answered the door to him."

"Yeah, he seemed pretty surprised I was naked but not a lot I could do."

Cami grinned, utterly unrepentant.

"Hey, it's a good view and last I checked, Eret's dial swings in every direction. He probably liked it."

Astrid didn't have to look to know Hiccup was doing some serious eye-rolling, and Mala was probably stifling amusement. She found Cami absolutely hysterical, though at first glance their personalities looked like they might clash. But Cami respected Mala's career-commitment, and also had already self-appointed herself the task of helping Mala come out of her shell to _have fun._ Well, more fun. They had plenty of fun in their bed. And living room. And kitchen. And bathroom... Mala was a little tall for the bent-over-the-sink, but that was easily solved by Hiccup boosting her up on the side instead. And there was no height restriction in the shower...

"I wish to thank you. All three of you."

The three turned toward Mala, voice quiet but her soft Aussie lilt was one that commanded attention regardless of volume.

"Uh, ok. What for?"

"What did we do?"

"I didn't break anything!"

Eyes flickered to Cami, who winked and stuck her tongue out, before everyone looked back to Mala.

"Anyway... yeah, what's up?"

"As I said, I wish to express gratitude. You did not have to accept me so easily into your life, your home. I feel _freer_ than I have in decades, away from the oppressive weight of my parents and starting this new chapter of my life, in a new country."

One day Mala would contract words, Astrid decided. Because honestly it seemed like she was allergic to apostrophes. Though, Astrid admitted, there was something intoxicating about breaking that regal womans composure in the heat of the moment.

"Well, you're welcome. We're a friendly bunch."

"Yes, I have noticed."

Cami giggled to herself, shuffling down to get more comfortable where she sat between Astrid's legs, clearly not intending to go anywhere.

"Have you called mom to let her know you've settled in? You said you would do it yesterday, but I'm pretty sure _those_ _two_ " Astrid and Cami stifled laughter in their hands "distracted you."

"Quite. I must say, I did not really _mind_ the distractions."

"Damn straight, who would mind being tackled to a bed by me and Astrid?"

Mala stood, stretching her long limbs out and the way her arms lifted above her head raised her white shirt, exposing the taut muscles of her abdomen. Astrid couldn't help looking, which only made Mala smile. Much of her clothing was black or white, some with details but mostly not. She was practical like that, but _damn_ she pulled it off. It did amuse her to see Mala's work clothes hung up in their shared main wardrobe alongside Cami's skinny jeans, which the little whirlwind owned in just about every colour of the rainbow. Hiccup joked that she changed colours based on her mood, like a cotton-based mood ring.

"May I borrow your phone Hiccup? I left mine upstairs to charge."

"Sure, just as soon as I can retrieve it from near Astrid's butt."

Completely deliberately, Astrid would bet, Hiccup groped said butt with a wink before extricating his phone from that pocket and standing up to hand it over to Mala. Astrid initially pouted about the loss, but by the time Mala had Valka's number ringing in the phone, her free hand was unbuttoning her shirt and, well, Astrid wanted to know where _that_ was going.

"Hello? Yes aunt Valka, I am settling in just fine. Of course Hiccup is being helpful."

Said helpful Hiccup was currently staring, obviously trying to work out why Mala was simultaneously talking on the phone to his mother and undressing. Her shirt was already on the sofa, black bra hugging tight to her ample chest and fingers sliding down her tight stomach to the button of her trousers.

"Hm? Oh, yes, he is just here. Your mother wants to talk to you Hiccup."

Astrid could sense a wicked plot a mile away, and the smirk tugging the corner of Mala's mouth was nothing short of devious. Hiccup took the phone, barely speaking a word of greeting to his mother before Mala was sinking to her knees, running a hand along his inner thigh and watching the way Hiccup mentally debated ways to get her to _stop_ without speaking the words, because then his mother would have some serious suspicions. Hiccup's words about their plans for the evening - given the way Mala was going for his belt buckle, those plans were going to change - stuttered slightly in his awkward state, Mala's playful smirk now completely diabolical.

Oh, Astrid liked her more already.

"S-sure, you should come ohhh-over for dinner soon!"

Truthfully, Astrid was _impressed._ Hiccup was holding the majority of a conversation coherently, eyes fixed on Mala's bobbing head where the Australian had his cock in her mouth, and there was not a thing he could do about either - short of hanging up or demanding his cousin stop blowing him while he was on the phone. And Mala didn't do things by halves. Oh, Astrid had found that out quite quickly, and _very_ enjoyably.

"Me? I'm fine! Just... a cat trying to bite my foot is all. Stop that!"

Mala peered up, shook her head as though she was the mischievous feline Hiccup pretended to his mother was the reason his speech was jerky, mind distracted. As though wanting to join in on the fun of risque phone calls, Cami twisted in Astrid's lap, crawling up her body and running her mouth over Astrid's neck. Normally she'd not mind, but closing her eyes meant missing the Mala-Hiccup show. A brief wrestling match later and she'd managed to pin Cami under her - it wasn't easy, Cami was _strong_ despite her size - and kept her there, both still watching Hiccup attempt to receive oral sex and talk to his mother at the same time.

"Yep! Bye mom!"

Hiccup hung up and all but threw his phone away, legs shaking as Mala redoubled her efforts now there was no risk factor, gorgeous as she lost herself in the act, eyes closed and a soft flush of arousal on her skin, Hiccup's fingers sliding through the short blonde strands of her hair. She was a sensual creature, and it was truly a pleasure to have her join them. Astrid still marvelled somewhat that her daring to kiss Hiccup in the bar gods-only-knew how long ago had led to so many changes, to these other two people, to the world of multi-relationships she'd never really thought much about before.

But gods, she wouldn't change it. Not when she could watch things like Hiccup's head rolling back on his shoulders, hips bucking as Mala swallowed him down with a low moan. She teased him until Hiccup pleaded for mercy, softening shaft finally slipping free of smirking lips as he stepped back, breathing heavily and still looking a little thunderstruck.

"You are _insane._ "

"I do not remember hearing a complaint."

"Alright, next time _you_ can tell mom why I sound weird on the phone."

Mala winked, letting Hiccup help her to her feet before turning to where Cami was still sandwiched between cushion and cousin.

"Do you require assistance Cami?"

Squirming fruitlessly, Cami managed to wriggle her head free to look up at the tall people properly.

"Well, you can help me get revenge on Astrid if you want."

Astrid looked down with indignation.

"Revenge for what? I was watching them!"

"Yeah, but Hiccup needs a few minutes before I can get revenge on him. Plus, you like my revenges."

Well... Cami had a point there.

-HTTYD-

 **Welp, I have trouble with creative flow on this story sometimes. I tried ok.**


	19. Chapter 19

**I gotta be honest and say my inspiration for this story fizzled out real fast a few months ago, and I've been trying to kick back into it but it's just... not been happening. But I am determined to** ** _finish_** **it, I just... I guess I can't promise it'll have the same energy it did when I was brimming with inspiration and ideas for Familial. I'll do my best!**

 **Also, I don't mean to spring a time jump on you like this, but I tried about a dozen times to start a chapter that was close to the last one, and it just did not happen. The events of this chapter were always going to take place, they were just plotted for an unspecified 'future' time, and came forward so I had _something_ to write about.  
**

-HTTYD-

"Of course we knew!"

Confessions seemed to be the theme of the day; time had made them careless it seemed, and Eret catching Hiccup and Astrid together had unravelled an entire mess of secrets. Following that, Heather had out and out confronted them about the goings on within their house too, and it meant learning some things in turn about their friends.

Like they weren't alone in being _close._

Eret and Kristoff, Elsa and Anna, Heather and Dagur... if it weren't such a surprise, Hiccup might have laughed at the absurdity. Atali too - not with a sibling, but she spent her nights with both Heather and Dagur, and obviously knew full well what went on between them.

Then again, it wasn't _much_ a surprise. They all had broken families, Hiccup getting along with his mother the only happy, healthy one of the lot - abusive, distant parents the norm for them all. They'd found solace in each other as children and teens, and the solace had become something new with adulthood. Heather and Atali also found it _hilarious_ that they'd inadvertently set up Hiccup and Astrid on a date.

"Why didn't you _say_ anything?"

"Well, Astrid said it might make your date awkward. I now know it was that she secretly wanted to get into my pants."

Astrid shoved him, but there was no real aggression in it and she promptly climbed into his lap now she knew there was nothing to hide anymore. Just like Dagur sat closer to Heather than usual, his sister leaning into him while she held Atali's hand.

"I don't remember you complaining when I dragged you out back and fucked you."

"Well, no, I didn't. But you definitely started it."

Completely unashamed, Astrid stuck her tongue out and got more comfortable. Mala and Cami were in a similar position too, Mala's height and Cami's petite size meaning it was a fairly natural fit too. They smiled at their partners, and Hiccup felt so _at ease_ now they didn't have to hide in their home any longer.

"So how did the thing with Cami happen?"

"She hacked my phone and then topped me... and Hiccup. The rest is history. Then Mala came along with a bunch of unresolved sexual tension. That didn't really take long."

That had been a while ago now, their four way relationship known outwardly as two pairs, and inside the home they were as strong as ever. The level of openness and the innate connection they shared meant problems were not left to simmer, and arguments were rare as proper communication took the place of them.

"Wow, ok. I can believe it."

Cami winked.

"You can dream about it if you want. I don't mind."

"Oh _behave,_ you."

Mala scolded, and Cami grinned unapologetically.

"Never."

Rolling her eyes, Mala still kissed Cami's messy hair and the sight made Hiccups chest warm. Gods, he loved them all so much he felt like it didn't all fit sometimes. But it did. _They_ did.

"How did you tell Atali? These two basically just told us they knew."

Heather and Dagur shared a look at Astrid's query, seeming to be trying to remember. Hiccup supposed if they were _already_ intimately involved, telling Atali would be necessary to start a relationship with her. But how did one go about that sort of revelation?

"Uh. It sort of... well, it happened when Atali spent the night and so Dagur slept in your room. But he kind of... sleep-walked into bed with us, and scared the absolute wits out of Atali. Didn't help that he was only in his boxers... and we couldn't really come up with a good lie, so I told her the truth and asked her not to report us to the cops. As you can see, she didn't."

"Yes... I was surprised myself, but it feels like such a long time ago."

They had similar conversations with the others, the brothers and sisters that had Hiccup curious how _they_ ever found each other. Then again, Hiccup felt incredibly unobversant to have never noticed anything between them.

Astrid, apparently, did not share his lack of observation skills.

"I had my suspicions, but it isn't really something you can ask."

Eret nodded, hand creeping up the back of the sofa to ruffle Kristoff's hair, which made his brother bat his hand away with a not-very-convincing sound of protest.

"Yeah. We debated for ages whether it was appropriate to bring up, cus if we did we would all be able to yanno, not hide with each other but then again, if we were way off base that would have been... _awkward_ to say the least."

"Well, thats a moot point now."

"Yeah, guess so."

Bidding them farewell that evening, Hiccup was dragged happily into a group cuddle, smiling as he was effectively surrounded.

"So... that happened."

"Yeah it did."

"How are we feeling about it?"

Everyone pondered quietly, sorting through their feelings as they held each other.

"It's cool, really. Eret and I can talk at work without worrying what we say. We don't have to think about who knows what."

"Yeah, thats true."

"I agree. It is certainly preferable not to worry about their reactions any longer."

"And nice of Atali to say she'll help if we chose to have kids."

Hiccup nodded; Atali was training in obstetrics and gynaecology, and had already offered to help monitor future pregnancies - particularly in mind of Hiccup and Astrid being half-siblings, something she already had some idea of since she was with Heather and Dagur. He doubted co-sanguinous pregnancy was an area someone could _practically_ specialise in, but he did now know Atali had several medical textbooks on such things.

Which, when he thought about it, was _bizarre._ But did it matter, so long as they were happy?

* * *

Honestly, it had seemed like a _much_ better idea three hours ago. But Astrid had forgotten to account for the fact that Hiccup was _evil._ Pure, unadulterated evil. And he'd been given a literal remote control that allowed him to drive her crazy.

Well, three. For all three of them. Mala was holding her composure better, but Astrid knew her tells by then and could see the way her fingers flexed and gripped at nothing, hands tensing into a fist at her side, the light flush creeping up over her collarbones. Cami was moving more carefully than her usual full pelt, randomly stopping with a little shake. Why had Astrid suggested they do this in _public_?

Biting her lip, Astrid threw a glance to where Hiccup looked as though he were simply playing with his phone. Except it was an app Cami designed that he was playing on, and it allowed him control over the vibrations that each of his girlfriends felt. When he saw her looking, Hiccup's smile turned mischievous smirk and Astrid almost moaned aloud there in the confectionary aisle. Love eggs were a wonderful thing in principle, but in practice Astrid was about ready to explode, unsure whether she wanted to jump or thump Hiccup for the torture.

The fact it had been her idea was irrelevant.

They could _stop_ if they wanted to, but that would count as a forfeit. Astrid never minded paying up said forfeits - mostly sexual favours that would have probably happened anyway - but she was nothing if not competitive. They all were. And Hiccup? Hiccup liked to push them to the absolute limits before dialling it down again, leaving Astrid wet and weak-kneed and dangerously close to coming in public.

Hiccup turned them all off one by one, whistling to himself as they tried to catch their breath without being horrendously obvious to the other people in the supermarket. He was smug as could be and Astrid debated asking the others how they felt about paying Hiccup back, possibly by tying him to something and leaving him only to watch...

When they got back into the car, Hiccup turned all three back up and _how_ he managed to get them home with all three of his lovers effectively coming on the spot with accompanying writhing and sounds... Astrid would never know. He _was_ jumped the instant they got shopping bags placed down on the side, dragged to the floor by Astrid and Cami while Mala watched in amusement as he feigned attempts to escape until there was a hand down his jeans and a hot mouth on his neck. After slipping out their invididual eggs, Astrid straddled his face before long and waited for Cami to settle herself on his erection before they both rode him with fervor.

Hiccup was well practiced in handling two at a time, and gods it showed when he had both of them shuddering and keening, Cami's eyes fixed on where Hiccup's tongue teased Astrid mercilessly and hers watching where his thick cock sank into her cousin over and over, long past caring for anything other than how desperately erotic she found such a sight. Pent up and still feeling like she'd been edged rather than actually climaxed in the car, Astrid was first to feel bliss wash over her in waves, thighs trembling and hips rocking as Hiccup brought her off with his obscenely talented mouth. A few cheeky swipes after she came had Astrid all but jumping off him, that mix of _too-much_ and _yes-more_ leaving her dizzy atop him.

Cami was not far behind her, a mess of arousal herself and she was more than capable of using Hiccup to get herself off, his grunting beneath Astrid a show he felt the smaller blonde seizing and gripping at him as she came. Shifting herself off him, Hiccup sat and helped Cami up too, wiping his mouth on the t-shirt he'd not gotten to take off before he was on his feet, advancing on Mala. Astrid and Cami settled in for the show now, watching as Mala tugged Hiccup to her by his hips, sharing a hungry kiss before Hiccup boosted her up onto the side, pulling down trousers and underwear in one go and plucking the egg from her with careful fingers.

Mala removed his t-shirt before he was held between long legs, strong arms, her head rolling back as Hiccup filled her. They'd waited the longest, but Astrid also knew they were both the type to try and hold out longer than the other and it was _always_ a fun show. Long, dextrous fingers stroked each other, sometimes clutching tighter at bare skin and leaving little crescent moon indents behind from their nails.

As they got closer, more urgent, Mala wrapped her arms up around his back, head falling forward against his shoulder as Hiccup thrust, her hips bucking into his with increasing force and need. Astrid could see how thin the line was, heard it in Hiccup's voice growing higher and Mala's breath quickening, saw it in Mala's legs tightening against Hiccup's waist and back. They pulled each other over the edge with a mix of beautiful sounds, twitching muscles and shaking bodies. Her heart fluttered watching the two kiss sweetly, breaking apart only to try and catch their breath.

Something about how Mala's white shirt fell down to her hips while nothing else covered her was impossibly hot as she slid down from the side, bracing her hand behind her as Hiccup fixed his jeans and turned to where Astrid and Cami were still perched on the floor watching quietly.

"Enjoy the show?"

"Always. Should we put the food away at some point?"

Hiccup laughed, shaking his head as he reached down to help them to their feet.

"Funny, I remember you two being the ones who couldn't wait."

"And you totally complained."

"Definitely tried to stop us."

Hiccup rolled his eyes, but drew them into a hug. Mala joined them, everyone being in various states of undress ignored for the moment. Astrid loved their weird, mixed up little family, no matter what anyone else might have thought of them.

-HTTYD-

 **Yeah I doubt this even comes close to making up for the wait, but man this was tough to work on!**


	20. Authors Question

**I know you're not meant to do this but it's not permanent.**

 **Basically, this story is incomplete and hanging over me and it's driving me mad, but I also have really, _really_ tried and failed to come up with motivation and ideas on what to do with this story.**

 _ **So,**_ **with that in mind, I offer it to you guys, the readers.**

 **Option one - hang around and wait for me to try and create actual chapters and finish the story.**

 **Option two - I write the end chapter, which has been planned out for a while, to round off the story (though admittedly, with a big ol' time gap) and move on to what I always had planned for after Familial/Awkward, which is an outtakes series after that's basically a bunch of smut-shots with various character mixes (which would be open to requests).**

 **Let me know!**


End file.
